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Boss told colleagues I'm pregnant

(31 Posts)
Smarshian Mon 06-Nov-17 21:44:59

I'm 9 weeks pregnant with my second and on maternity leave still with my first (due back next month). I had a meeting with my boss last week about my return to work and informed him I was pregnant as it would impact what I would be doing when I returned.
We agreed he would tell one other person plus someone from hr as they needed to know for people planning purposes.
I have just found out via my husband that a large proportion of my regional team know I am pregnant (my husband plays football with a junior member of the regional team who is a mutual friend and he congratulated him - clearly not even knowing it was supposed to be a secret)

I'm furious - what should I do?

Laura811 Mon 06-Nov-17 21:46:08

That’s awful! Can you make a complaint to HR?

Louiselouie0890 Mon 06-Nov-17 22:14:33

Did they it was the boss as 3 members know?

Louiselouie0890 Mon 06-Nov-17 22:14:44

Say**

MsVestibule Mon 06-Nov-17 22:27:53

It's going to be very difficult to prove which of the three told anybody else, though,

I'd be really annoyed if I was you, though - is it worth you making an informal complaint?

doodle01 Mon 06-Nov-17 22:32:25

You just dont know how this got out You are pregnant Id take a rain check
The point at which you informed your employer this was always a possibility
People overhear things people slip
Was there an agreement when you were going to make this public or was this going to be regular updates to employer for disclosure date.
This would be a pain.
I do get your annoyance

confusedlittleone Tue 07-Nov-17 06:06:02

Was it actually your boss tho? How do you know it wasn't one of the other 2 people who had to know?

BlueberryIce Tue 07-Nov-17 06:09:25

Casually ask the person you know best “oh, yes, did Xperson mention it to you?”. Or somehow otherwise try to find out who it was?

flumpybear Tue 07-Nov-17 06:10:45

Bring it up with HR and say you want to know who’s spread gossip about you because that’s what it is _ really unacceptable

RainyApril Tue 07-Nov-17 06:25:27

You could take it further with HR but any of the people involved could say that they didn't know it was supposed to be a secret.

DNAwrangler Tue 07-Nov-17 07:24:25

I think you should complain. I'm a manager and would be appalled if this happened to a member of my team. Pregnancy news is very sensitive.

Yes, they might not get to the bottom of who it was. But they can certainly send out a loud and clear message that this sort of thing isn't to be shared ever. As if they don't already know...

Jasminedes Tue 07-Nov-17 07:28:44

I would let it go and enjoy your pregnancy. Any complaint won't help you, only others in the future, and you need to preserve your work relationships. It is not on though. Hopefully it wasn't the bods, but one of the others, and boss will find out and reprimand.

glow1984 Tue 07-Nov-17 07:36:23

It might not have been your boss who told anyone, if him, plus 2 other people were supposed to know.

I don't see the point in making a complaint. i don't think it will help your work relationships and you'll probably come off badly, to be honest.

Aderyn17 Tue 07-Nov-17 07:42:02

Maybe boss has told the two other people as agreed but forgotten to mention that you want it kept quiet.
Tbh, once you tell more than one person a secret, there is very little realistic chance of it staying quiet. I'd let it go - it's not like people aren't going to notice you being pg when you go back anyway.

Littleoakhorn Tue 07-Nov-17 07:59:43

I’d speak to HR and ask them to follow it up. Explain that you’re not interested in blame but ask them to make sure that the people involved know how very unprofessional this was. You gave them information that you didn’t have to at this stage and they have abused that privilege.

DNAwrangler Tue 07-Nov-17 08:04:10

Disagree that if you tell someone a 'secret' in a professional capacity that you should expect it to become general knowledge.

I assume you wouldn't mind your boss sharing your salary, or your disciplinary record?!

Aderyn17 Tue 07-Nov-17 10:31:34

I'm not saying he was right to share it DNA, only that when more than one person knows something, it is quite hard to pinpoint where the leak came from - people are a bit crap at keeping stuff to themselves, as has been demonstrates here.
Anyway, I say choose your battles. Even though you didn't want people to know now, it's not like you can hide it for long anyway. I think maintaining positive work relationships is more important in the long run.

Aderyn17 Tue 07-Nov-17 10:36:43

As an aside, I think all salaries should be public knowledge - might help with the gender pay gap.

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin Tue 07-Nov-17 10:56:50

Why do you need to know what I earn?
How does it enhance your life or change your standard of living?

Aderyn17 Tue 07-Nov-17 11:07:35

I just explained sloe. If salaries were transparent, we would be able to see if wages are fair. It might help people who are underpaid/undervalued to renegotiate.

Smarshian Tue 07-Nov-17 16:18:06

So I spoke to my boss who openly admitted it was him who told people and he said "I understand your annoyance". He didn't apologise or attempt to excuse why he had done it. If anything I'm even more annoyed now and thinking about going to hr as he couldn't even apologise when he knew he had done something wrong. Yes people will know when I return but I haven't even been for my scan yet. People that I barely know have been told before some of my family and friends.

DoesHeWantToOrNot Tue 07-Nov-17 16:21:58

My boss done that. Told someone at work that he was coming in to speak to the pregnant officer. As I was the only female officer with the company at that time it was obvious it was me. I was only 8 weeks at that point.

Oddmanout Tue 07-Nov-17 16:27:18

I think its disgusting and I'd be pissed off too, but unless you're prepared to leave over it there won't be much you can do without damaging your position in the company. Sad state of affairs I agree.

Aderyn17 Tue 07-Nov-17 16:31:36

Having seen your update, I'd be angry too. I was thinking it had been an accident,that he'd forgotten to tell others to keep it quiet, but actually it was deliberate.

I would note this with HR, in case it is the start of a wider campaign to get you to leave.

HaHaHmm Tue 07-Nov-17 17:10:40

That's shocking. Is he pissed off that you're going on a second mat leave so soon and looking to undermine or punish you?

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