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AIBU?

To request 2 morning lie ins per year?

126 replies

Cakebaby123 · 29/10/2017 15:37

Ok so I'm a SAHM and yet again another weekend gone by where DH gets to sleep in until gone 11am while I'm up at the crack of dawn with DC (after being up all night with DD and her sickness bug)
All I ask is that for mothers day and my birthday that maybe DH gets up with the children and brings me a cup of tea to enjoy. We have this argument every year where he thinks because I don't 'go to work and earn money' that I don't need a lie in at all, not even once a year.
Does everyone view SAHMs like this?
He does work hard, but he's self employed and only works when he really does want to. So it's not like he works 100 hours a week, whereas I feel like my 'job' never ends ConfusedBlush

Trivial yes, but its really getting me down.

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McTufty · 29/10/2017 15:38

2 a year? He should be doing far more of the early mornings that that! Sorry but he sounds very selfish.

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ginplease8383 · 29/10/2017 15:38

YANBU he’s being a dick.

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Miniwerewolfhugs · 29/10/2017 15:39

He's an arse

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gunsandbanjos · 29/10/2017 15:40

Not trivial, is he always this selfish?

You should each get one at the weekend.

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Cakebaby123 · 29/10/2017 15:40

I don't even get the two! Completely fed up x

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Delatron · 29/10/2017 15:40

Not trivial. You are working just as hard but just because there is no financial reward he is dismissing what you do.
When I was a sahm we took it in turns at the weekend. Only fair.

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PopadomPointer · 29/10/2017 15:41

Yanbu
I'd say maybe 1 lie-in a week would be fairer

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BamburyFuriou3 · 29/10/2017 15:41

He's a knob. Like my DH.

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Frouby · 29/10/2017 15:42

I get 1 every week. Sometimes 2 if dp gets up early Saturday. Ds goes down to find him, then dp brings me a cuppa up and I go dowb when I am ready. Then dp goes back to bed for an hour.

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swinkle · 29/10/2017 15:42

My DH and I each get one at the weekend. My DH is currently off work for two weeks and we're alternating. I'd be pissed off if it was any other way, and we only have one 17 week old DS who is really pretty easy most of the time.

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PaleMoonRising · 29/10/2017 15:42

Go away for a weekend and let he see what it’s really like.....he won’t be clocking off then

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sahknowme · 29/10/2017 15:43

My partner does earn lots more than I ever could, and has an element of this attitude, but he still gives me at least one lie-in every week. Often 2, and makes me breakfast in bed.

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swinkle · 29/10/2017 15:43

So I think YABU to expecting two a year!!

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milkchocolatx5 · 29/10/2017 15:43

how old are the children? He sounds lovely but I'd be more forgiving if the DC are in school and you have plenty of me time. Still shoddy.

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swinkle · 29/10/2017 15:44

That should be expecting only two a year.

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TracyBeakerSoYeah · 29/10/2017 15:45

Go to your Mum's, Sister's, Brother's, Friend's or even the postman's house for a weekend/few days.
Then see how your DH would cope!
Then you'll get your lie ins.

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internetCrazies · 29/10/2017 15:46

Bloody hell. I couldn't cope with that. I'm a SAHM but hubby has great shifts. Works 7 days (split up) a fortnight plus has the majority of the school holidays off.

During the summer holidays I got up first just a couple of days when he was home. He likes mornings.

I do not.

I am not nice to be around in the morning.
DH is wise and kind and gets up instead 😂

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Impatientwino · 29/10/2017 15:46

Sorry but he's sounds like a selfish arsehole.

DH and I take it in turns at the weekend both when I was a SAHM and when I went back to work.

Because we're a team (and adults who both need sleep to function)

If you really don't think you can improve the situation I'd start being incredibly noisy in the mornings and maybe DD could take up a musical instrument Smile

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Cakebaby123 · 29/10/2017 15:49

impatientwino DS has taken up trumpet but is only allowed to practice it once DH is up and about. If we disturb him he just gets in a mood and sits on his bloody laptop all day (much like today 😕)
Sorry, just having a shitty day x

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imokit · 29/10/2017 15:49

YABVU - you should be requesting one lie in a week.

He works, you look after the kids and house while he's at work, you are working as hard as he is and you are financially contributing by saving childcare costs - if two nursery aged dc, then that's a lot.
He's still a parent he should still be doing half the childcare while at home.

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Sarahh2014 · 29/10/2017 15:51

We have a ds age 3 and our arrangement is I get lay in on Sat morn he gets Sunday works for us and feels fair

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mimiholls · 29/10/2017 15:52

Agree 1 lie in a week would be more reasonable

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YouTheCat · 29/10/2017 15:53

He's going to be an arse regardless so let your ds play his trumpet. I'd suggest taking up the violin as well and also letting the kids jump on his bed until he gets up.

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BasinHaircut · 29/10/2017 15:53

Why does he think he only needs to ‘work’ during hours he chooses, but you have to ‘work’ 24 hours a day?

For all of his other flaws I’m so grateful for my DH, as he seems to understand that you don’t get to opt out of parenting just because you earn money or own a penis.

Fuck that.

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DNAwrangler · 29/10/2017 15:56

I never understand this attitude from DHs. Either what you do is so easy that you NEVER need a lie in, in which case it should be easy as pie for him to do it instead of you for one morning. Or actually, what you do is quite hard, in which case you deserve a rest.

Or is it only easy for you because you're a woman?

Stuff it. Tell him that seeing as your job is so damn easy he can do it while you sleep in next Sunday.

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