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to be annoyed at the Tom Jones comments

(23 Posts)
WhatAPunch Thu 19-Oct-17 17:52:44

Or am I lacking compassion. Maybe i am.

I read the comments around it happens to men too with a sigh. Then I stopped myself, thought - if someone is talking about sexual harassment/abuse I should have compassion, regardless of other issues, so read again.

But he describes being asked out and politely declining and it being "not that bad". Maybe he is in denial about something traumatic... But it feels like he had totally minimised the entire issue. Or how it was reported didn't help.

SierraFerrara Thu 19-Oct-17 17:57:13

Weren't there rumours about him as well though?

But you are right that women and men who expetience sexual assault should be supported.

GetTheeBehindMeShatner Thu 19-Oct-17 17:58:24

YABU. He was making a reasonable point, but didn't word it perfectly. He's not known for his eloquent and informative interviews, so you can forgive him for being a bit clumsy in getting his point across.

DailyMailReadersAreThick Thu 19-Oct-17 17:59:05

It might help if you actually said what the comments were that we're meant to be discussing.

Mrsknackered Thu 19-Oct-17 18:00:24

I think hope he was saying it in like a 'my experience can't compare way' rather than stfu women, deal with it like a man.

But, at the moment my trust in humanity and especially men at the moment is so low, I really don't know.

Uokbing Thu 19-Oct-17 18:00:53

Are you talking about women chucking their knickers at him and stuff?

user1471495191 Thu 19-Oct-17 18:05:43

He said something along the lines of: 'it happened to me once. Someone came onto me but I said no thank you and walked away'

picklemepopcorn Thu 19-Oct-17 18:21:09

I read it as him having to make a decision not to further his career by saying yes.
Also that it is rife in the music industry too, and needs to be exposed.

I did hmm at his comment it was not that bad. Not that bad because he was allowed to say no, walk away, and still be successful. Possibly he wasn't physically intimidate by the person. Possibly he was in a stronger position. It may not have been that bad for him but it clearly can be bad.

WhatAPunch Thu 19-Oct-17 19:04:51

I think I couldn't tell what his point was. That it happens in other industries? I can believe that. It's life for women. That it happens to men too....? The culture of sexual harassment being discussed in light of HW is very much about women.

And it feels that adding that his example wasn't that bad makes either point weak anyway.

I am uneasy at a contribution implying "it happens to men too - but it was easy to deal with." Especially given how intimidating and scary the situations described by HWs victims were.

Maybe I need to reread afresh.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Thu 19-Oct-17 19:09:52

Listen to the recording of the interview. It is very different to reading a report of it.

He hesitated a lot. Was nervous and maybe even shy. He obviously made a snap decision to answer a question truthfully in an otherwise light interview. He then wasn't ready for all the follow up questions grilling him on what happened to him and was trying to back away.

All the while the interviewer sounded incredulous and rather gossipy to me.

SwearyBerry Thu 19-Oct-17 19:15:57

I found what he said uncomfortable, but can't quite put my finger on why - maybe when he said he "just walked away", it almost sounded like there was an implicit and unspoken "why didn't those women walk away from Weinstein?" In there. I realise I'm totally reading between the lines and making assumptions about his meaning, but I didn't like it nonetheless.
And in fairness he was just answering a reporters question that he was probably unprepared for, so not surprising his answer could come across as a little clumsy or ambiguous

SerendipityFelix Thu 19-Oct-17 19:21:43

It is all media bullshit, he was ambushed and didn’t seek to make a statement or anything. I would feel slightly sorry for him, but he isn’t exactly a paragon of feminist principle, he was incredulously unfaithful to his wife, refuses to acknowledge a child he fathered, and gave the world ‘Delilah’ a jolly song about murdering a woman.

WhatAPunch Thu 19-Oct-17 19:24:26

I've just watched it RunRabbit. Yes what a terrible interview. He is all over the place and clearly awkward at being put on the spot. And actually I feel stupid havinga thread about it now. Because he does say things which are questionnable but so rambling not worth discussion.

user1471439240 Thu 19-Oct-17 19:29:11

Possibly Tom being a man of the world has experienced this in reverse, so to speak. He was something of an icon in his day and may have suffered a lot of unwanted attention from women.

Gingernaut Thu 19-Oct-17 19:31:26

He was a young, relatively sheltered man from a small, Rhondda Valley mining village at the time and I'm guessing inexperienced in the wicked ways of gay men and the entertainment industry.

Any encounter like that will stick with you, regardless of outcome.

midnightmisssuki Thu 19-Oct-17 19:32:26

Yabu. Men can be sexually assaulted too you you.

midnightmisssuki Thu 19-Oct-17 19:32:34

Know *

Twofishfingers Thu 19-Oct-17 19:38:37

I think maybe he also meant that the assault on him was quite 'mild' compared to some of the assaults, blackmail and rapes now being reported.

WhatAPunch Thu 19-Oct-17 19:57:18

The thing that lingered from the video was how insensitive/inappropriate the questioning tone. That trivialised the topic.

picklemepopcorn Thu 19-Oct-17 20:14:00

Don't forget the Welsh accent often rises at the end of a sentence even if it isn't a question.

OnTheRise Thu 19-Oct-17 20:20:37

I am not surprised he seemed awkward answering any questions about sexual harassment and abuse bearing in mind he's apparently under investigation himself.

TossDaily Thu 19-Oct-17 20:32:29

Apparently he was chased around an office by a famous record label owner when he first arrived from Wales.

LaurieFairyCake Thu 19-Oct-17 20:47:00

I felt really sorry for him. I think he tried to answer the question but the horribly inappropriate interviewer belittled him sad

Yes he’s not articulate. It sounds like he was trying not to minimise but her tone made him a little defensive which came off flippant

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