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AIBU to be annoyed at OPs who don't come back with an update?

(17 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

mammyoftwo Thu 25-May-17 11:03:39

...especially when people have taken time to respond with suggestions...

mammyoftwo Thu 25-May-17 11:04:42

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

VladmirsPoutine Thu 25-May-17 11:06:45

Yabu. It's not a soap opera and it's rather vulgar when posters badger the OP for updates as if awaiting the next episode in a dramatic series.

NerrSnerr Thu 25-May-17 11:10:10

It depends on the thread. You see some posts from people going through horrendous life shit like bereavement, marriage breakdown etc and after a day you get people asking 'any update OP?' as if it's some form of entertainment. Dress for a wedding I personally find it hard to care, she'd have worn something I'm sure. She asked for advice and got it.

HarrietKettleWasHere Thu 25-May-17 11:11:15

Well I think the dress one she definitely could have updated. The ones hat abbot me are quite banal really- the 'I'm in London tonight what should I do?' Type ones and lots of posters detail replies about events and restaurants and the like and then no update/a quick thanks. I remember one where people have loads of great suggestions for somewhere to have a birthday dinner and the OP was really scathing about all of them.

HarrietKettleWasHere Thu 25-May-17 11:11:40

*the ones that annoy me

ImperialBlether Thu 25-May-17 11:16:22

It's always funny when the OP presents herself as the voice of reason and then when someone disagrees with her turns into a shrew.

I agree - if someone has asked for advice and people have spent a bit of effort trying to help, then it's only good manners to come back and respond. Of course if someone's going through a terrible time, they shouldn't feel they have to update.

nina2b Thu 25-May-17 11:17:49

VladmirsPoutine

Yabu. It's not a soap opera and it's rather vulgar when posters badger the OP for updates as if awaiting the next episode in a dramatic series.

Yes well often the situations described are pretty "dramatic" and posters respond in what seems to me to be a genuine way.

Therefore, it is not "vulgar" of those people, and others, to want to know if a situation has been resolved given that they have tried to help. It seems like a genuine next step, frankly.
It irritates me too when those OPs disappear. They are being very rude and ungrateful.

nina2b Thu 25-May-17 11:18:51

VladmirsPoutine

Yabu. It's not a soap opera and it's rather vulgar when posters badger the OP for updates as if awaiting the next episode in a dramatic series.

Yes well often the situations described are pretty "dramatic" and posters respond in what seems to me to be a genuine way.

Therefore, it is not "vulgar" of those people, and others, to want to know if a situation has been resolved given that they have tried to help. It seems like a genuine next step, frankly.
It irritates me too when those OPs disappear. They are being very rude and ungrateful.

nina2b Thu 25-May-17 11:20:34

To clarify, I am not referring to dresses for weddings etc etc.

OregonShales Thu 25-May-17 11:27:40

For me, it depends. You can tell a lot of posters are begging for the OP to come back to threads just to get the gossip. They will say things like "just want to make sure you're okay OP" "let us know you're alright" "placemarking, hope they are okay sad"

and then the OP posts a short update like "Thanks for all the messages, sorry was sorting some stuff out, everything okay with me now smile

the SAME people who apparently "just needed to know the poster was okay" are posting "so what did he say?!" "come on OP you can't only say that, we need the full details!"

it's sickening on some of the threads, yes to you it's just another affair/friendship issue/bereavement thread, but it's peoples lives. MN is a support network, not an entertainment blog, sometimes you won't hear the ending, if you don't like that, you don't have to post.

Oblomov17 Thu 25-May-17 12:03:03

I hope and expect them to. Especially the parking one's, with diagrams!! grin

Sparklingbrook Thu 25-May-17 12:36:33

It's not the end of the world if they don't. All the placemarking makes me a bit hmm
Just put it on your Watch list.

EdmundCleverClogs Thu 25-May-17 13:02:16

It can be mildly irritating if you're expecting an 'outcome' but I tend to forget about threads quite quickly.

The only time I get cross is when a 'repeat offender' keeps starting threads of the same topic over and over again, people advise and sympathise, but the op never posts more than twice. Then a few months later they're back with basically the same problem, only to ignore all advice again, etc. I honestly don't understand why they do it, it's like they won't reply until some poster cracks the magic code and just tells them exactly what they want to hear hmm.

LornaMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 25-May-17 13:24:59

Hi all,

Whilst we do allow general discussions, we don't allow threads about threads and so please avoid referring to any, we'd hate to have to take this one down!

flowers

mammyoftwo Thu 25-May-17 17:49:22

apologies, I forgot about linking directly to other threads.

i get it probably depends how big/serious the issue is, whether OP will have time to do full feedback or not. but in some instances i think it's rude not to check in with a "thank xmu"

mammyoftwo Thu 25-May-17 17:49:40

*you

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