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AIBU?

To think that this woman on her gap year, wanting to adopt an African baby and bring him back to the UK, is ridiculous...

118 replies

user1489261248 · 10/04/2017 20:02

metro.co.uk/2017/04/10/british-teacher-moves-to-africa-to-adopt-boy-she-cared-for-while-on-her-gap-year-6564554/

When there are multiple 100s of 1000s of children in this country needing loving homes, this woman on her 'gap yar' has decided she wants to bring this little boy home from Uganda and adopt him. Unreasonable? Or perfectly OK?

She has even set up a gofundme page for her legal fees!

I think it's ridiculous personally.

OP posts:

Report

Grenoble124 · 10/04/2017 20:05

Why is it ridiculous?

Gallavich · 10/04/2017 20:06

She's formed an attachment relationship with this baby. She doesn't want to adopt another baby because this is the baby she has a relationship with and he with her. She's gone to live in Uganda for a year so you can't say it's a whim. I don't blame her tbh.

OhDearToby · 10/04/2017 20:08

I don't think it's ridiculous. She didn't go over there with the intention to adopt, she just fell in love with this little boy and had basically been acting as his mum from birth.

ghostyslovesheets · 10/04/2017 20:08

what are you doing to help the 100's of 1000's of kids in care?

She has an attachment to the child - he is probably in a lot worse position than children in the UK

YABU

Rainydayspending · 10/04/2017 20:08

She's following Ugandan law and fostering for a year first. In Uganda. That's quite a serious commitment. The writing isn't great, but it gets her story across.

SchnooSchnoo · 10/04/2017 20:08

YABU. She was basically his primary carer from birth. It would be the best outcome for the child if he were to be adopted by her.

imNew1985 · 10/04/2017 20:08

You're pretty heartless OP.
She nurtured this child from 5 days old.

Doesn't matter WHERE the child is from it's a child she mothered and a child she loves

UndersecretaryofWhimsy · 10/04/2017 20:10

She's raised him, functionally, since his birth. She is his mother now, or certainly the closest thing he has. Why is it ridiculous for her to want to formalise that so she can be his mother legally?

I'd do the same in her shoes, I think.

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 10/04/2017 20:10

Adoption is great and I'm all for it usually. However with no job to support herself much less a child and not prepared to finance the venture herself given the go fund me page its madness.

SueGeneris · 10/04/2017 20:10

He's a child without a mother. She has formed a relationship with him. I don't understand the problem. I think it's a wonderful thing that she is doing. Why is a child from this country more worthy of adoption?

Liara · 10/04/2017 20:10

I think it is perfectly reasonable, and wish her all the best.

She has been parenting this child for some time now, it is logical to want to complete the adoption process. It would be awful if she just dumped him there because 'there are loads of other children I could have'. Now that would be ridiculous.

ijustwannadance · 10/04/2017 20:12

She loves him. What else matters.

ShoutOutToMyEx · 10/04/2017 20:12

It's situational, isn't it? I'm sure if she formed an attachment with an orphaned British baby she would have done the same.

She met him when he was a few days old, and from what the article says has not experienced abuse or neglect. Children waiting for adoption in this country are often much older, have experienced abuse and neglect and because of this have very complex needs. It's not as simple as just finding a 'loving home.'

I can't believe you're being so mean spirited about someone doing something incredible out of love.

pennypickle · 10/04/2017 20:12

She has forged a very strong bond with this little one. I hope she gets to adopt him and they both have very happy lives together. All children need love and stability - regardless of race.

Freezingwinter · 10/04/2017 20:13

I think it's a lovely heart warming story and I really hope it works out for them!
There are indeed lots of children in the UK and they are no less or more deserving of the love of a parent or guardian. However, she's shown a serious commitment and I really think it's a lovely story!

WyfOfBathe · 10/04/2017 20:13

YABU. She's been his primary carer since he was a tiny baby, and now she has dropped everything to live in Uganda and foster him.

LettuceMash · 10/04/2017 20:13

I've donated, thank you for bringing it to my attention

I really hope she gets to adopt him.

Nanny0gg · 10/04/2017 20:13

She is the only mother this child has ever known.

Surely it would be cruel to not try and adopt him?

silkpyjamasallday · 10/04/2017 20:14

I was ready to agree with you before I read the article. I hate gap yah wankers with a passion, and I HATE the fetishisation of these African children by wealthy white westerners coming into these extremely vulnerable children's lives building a bond and then fucking off to the luxury beach resort part of their gap yah that they don't publicise on instagram.

But, this woman has cared for Adam since he was born, they must have an incredible bond and she has actually done her utmost to legally adopt him even moving countries away from her own family. I doubt she was looking to adopt or have her own child in the uk at this point in her life, but fate put her with this child and she regards him as her responsibility knowing she can offer him a better life than languishing in a care home to develop mental health issues etc. Isn't it better for him to be adopted by someone he has a bond with and obviously loves him?

I will be donating, I hope that she and Adam can be legally family soon.

FeralBeryl · 10/04/2017 20:16

Well that's backfired OP - another one here about to donate. Who gives a fuck where you're born - a disadvantaged newborn has a chance at a better life where someone loves him. Good on her

catscurledupbythefire · 10/04/2017 20:16

Well there aren't really thousands of children available to adopt TBF op.

Badbadtromance · 10/04/2017 20:17

You and i gave her cash to help her adopt him

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WellErrr · 10/04/2017 20:17

What does his country of birth have to do with it?

Why do you seem to think children from this country more deserving than Ugandan children of being adopted?

There's a really distasteful undertone to your post.

kittytom · 10/04/2017 20:17

YABU. She is his mum. What a lovely story, I hope she succeeds in adopting him.

NotStoppedAllDay · 10/04/2017 20:18

I'm also going to go away and donate!

How lovely for this child

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