What would you think if a visiting child said these things?

[JonesyAndTheSalad]

DD is 9, a boy she knows from school recently moved to our street so today, DD called for him and his Mum let him come over for an hour.

They were happy playing but over the time he was here, he said

"It's really messy here too"

About the sitting room...it isn't really messy. There is a pile of DD's colouring things placed neatly on the floor to one side.

He mentioned it in relation to DD's bedroom which by the way is perfectly tidy. Nothing on the floor at all.

He then said to me, "I think you should move the settee over there...and put the TV there"



Thanks for the advice son but a tv doesn't do well directly over an open fireplace. and his idea for sofa placement was to maroon it in the middle of the small room. Maybe he's the next big thing in interior design?

I just nodded and tried to seem interested.

He then went on to say

"What's that on your face?"

I have a birthmark a red scar on my cheek. Not huge...but shouldn't a 9 year old know not to ask things like that? Or to comment on other people's houses in such a way?

[Afreshstartplease]

I'd think he probably gets it from one of his parents

[Afreshstartplease]

My 9 year old wouldn't care at all where the TV or sofa were as long as he could see the TV

[Xmasfairy86]

This is exactly why I don't have other kids round to play plus the massive dog

Some kids just don't have filters

[SavoyCabbage]

It doesn't bother me what a nine year old thinks of my tidiness level. Everyone has different ideas of what is tidy.

Are your houses the same layout? Ours are on our street which I think leads to far more interest from the adults and children alike about what is where.

The birth mark is a tricky one as he might not have known there was such a thing as birth marks. I burnt my hand a few weeks ago on the oven and every child I encountered (I'm a supply teacher) asked me about it.

[RebootYourEngine]

He sounds like a nightmare. I wouldnt have him in my house again.

[JonesyAndTheSalad]

No, our houses are completely different. I thought he was plain rude!

[CouldntMakeThisShitUp]

i'd think he was being rude - although perhaps not deliberately.

I wouild think that he's either not been taught manners or no one pulls him up on his rudeness.
Or......he may well have an OCD parent.

[gamerwidow]

Maybe his parents are a bit obsessed with their house. My sister is a neat freak and always redecorating or talking about changing the house. My DNs are always amazed at what I will let them do in my house because they aren't allowed to play with stuff on the same way at home because of the mess. I think it's fine to ask about the birthmark as long as it was in a nice way. Obviously if he said 'urgh what's that on your face' then that would have been rude but just asking normally is ok imo.

[Guitargirl]

I would have just smiled and nodded (and then filtered it out of my mind) - the same way I do with anyone talking shite.

[SchnitzelVonCrumb]

Sounds fairly innocent to me.

At 9 I would expect a little more tact but maybe your house is messy you just don't see it lol

[MoominMamma3]

Might he be autistic? My son has Autism and says the most awkward things sometimes. It makes me feel sad to think he'd be a labelled a nightmare and people wouldn't invite him over because of it

[Toadinthehole]

I wouldn't think anything about it. I expect 9 year olds have said similar stuff to me and I've not really noticed tbh.

[Mumzypopz]

Maybe he's on the spectrum somewhere.

[Imaginosity]

Wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest. He's a child and still learning. If I heard my own child say it I'd explain to them why it would come across as rude. One of my children has autism and although he is very aware not to say inappropriate things his behaviour in other ways might still seem
Inappropriate to others. We're working on it with him constantly.

[TheKitchenWitch]

I think this is a character trait that some children have. I've had kids like this over and it used to shock me - your ds's room is very small, why are your teeth like that?, we've got a much bigger car, I don't like your garden etc This from a 5 yo! He didn't change, either.

[Spikeyball]

I would think that for whatever reason, he doesn't have filters.
It's not nightmare behaviour.

[Screwinthetuna]

I've met several kids who say whatever pops into their head like that and come across as very rude and precocious. I just ignore ignore it and wouldn't be in a rush to have them round again

[Graphista]

Not rude, he's only 9. He doesn't understand that it's inappropriate.

I have a birthmark on my face and a scar on my hand from an accident, scars on my legs from a different accident (I know I'm a nightmare).

I would have gently laughed it off and explained that's not a nice thing to say and why.

Explained the mark/scars (which I've done millions of times as I've had not only children but elderly folk with conditions that mean they don't filter ask, one lovely old lady I nursed was almost entirely non verbal but every time she saw me she'd say 'Ooh' in a sort of 'doesn't that hurt?' Way and stroke my scar on my hand gently.)

[Dontactlikeyouknowme]

Kids say all sort of daft stuff. I would have laughed.

[KoalaDownUnder]

Bit rude and...forward? Most kids know better by 9.

[coffeetasteslikeshit]

He's 9, who cares what he says about your house? Just ignore him.

[Devilishpyjamas]

It would find it amusing but I spend a lot of time around people with autism & learning disabilities who ask a lot worse than that!

I like curious kids. If I'm out about with severely autistic ds1 they'll follow him and say 'why can't he talk? Does he understand what I'm saying? Why is he making that noise?' Etc etc. I much prefer it to the ones who gawp or look frightened or embarrassed.

And god knows what he would make of my messy house.

[wobblywonderwoman]

I would think he hasn't been brought up with good manners. I would have said to him 'that is not a very nice thing to say'

But it might be that he has asd

[JonesyAndTheSalad]

"only 9" really?? In a couple of years he'll be in high school! 9's not like 5...it's old enough to have picked up the basics....he hasn't got any additional needs that I know of.

Of course, we can't ever really know though unless we're told. I know a few kids with ASD and he's nothing like them...though of course, it's different in all kids.

Oh well. I'm not bothered exactly I was just taken aback at hs comments....if he'd been 5 or something, I wouldn't have thought twice.

[Doyouwantabrew]

He sounds precocious and probably mummy and daddy think that his every remark is clearly sign of his great gifts. Met loads like this.

Tell him straight it's rude to make negative comments and then ask him his views on Brexit.