My daughter started at a special secondary school last year. She now gets a bus to school which stops outside our house. A 16 year old girl who catches the same bus, took a liking to my DD. She came up the first time with her mum and our girls played while the mum chatted to me and my DH. When the mum said that her DD would like to come and play with my DD, I said that would be lovely as they seemed to get along so well. Until then, my daughter wouldn't have friends in the house at all!
The problem is that now my DD is starting to realise that she's not very compatible with this girl, who is mentally much less able than my daughter. She enjoys very demanding, repetitive imaginary play. My daughter does enjoy the same, but on her own, following her own rules and with no one watching. The friend won't watch a film or play on the computer, so it's all quite intense for my DD.
The mum of this girl has told us that she has mental health problems and that her daughter is classed as her carer. The mum has started texting her daughter or the taxi escort lady telling them that her daughter must get off at my house as she's not well or won't be there to look after her. She doesn't even text me to let me know, or thank me for having her at all. She just assumes that it's fine for me to have her!
Now my daughter has started to say that she doesn't want her to come around anymore and asking what excuse she can make, then getting rather anxious that she'll believe her.
I've tried stopping her from getting off the bus at ours before, kind of trying to hold the bus, while saying we are going out etc, but she is very pushy and will demand to come in anyways, by saying that she just needs to drop something off, pick something up etc. She's even said 'I'll wait until you leave, then I'll go home'.
I think I must nip this in the bud, so I'm thinking of texting her mum to say that my daughter is going through a difficult time with her social anxiety and doesn't want anyone in her house after school for the time being. I'll let you know if this changes, but for now could you please make sure X knows not to get off the bus at our house. Thanks.
Do you think that's ok? Or is there a better way of letting her know? I've only met this woman twice, so I'm not at all concerned about ruining a friendship, but at the same time don't want to upset her or her daughter too much.
What would you do?
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AIBU?
AIBU to stop this girl comming round after school?
118 replies
chuffinalong · 10/01/2017 14:15
OP posts:
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