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To dislike baby showers?

(112 Posts)
CatThiefKeith Mon 25-Apr-16 10:53:22

Where have they suddenly sprung from?

They make my teeth itch. Of the three I've been invited to, one had 60 invitees (presumably to get 60 gifts, because some of the people invited were really only well off aquaintances) one had a bloody gift list with the invite and the other was from my old slimming club leaders daughter that I'd already given a travel system to. hmm

Surely, if you want to buy somebody a baby gift you do it after the baby is born, and don't need to be summoned to spend an afternoon with people you don't know playing weird baby related games and trying to guess the birth weight?

And lastly, surely to god if you were having one you should invite you mum, who looks after your existing child 3 days a week while you work? narrows eyes at sil

LunaLoveg00d Mon 25-Apr-16 10:57:09

I have only been to one and it was excruciating.

I wouldn't go to another, I save the present buying for after the baby is born.

Voteforpedr0 Mon 25-Apr-16 11:00:52

I've refused invites before as I find them grabby and indulging, I have however gave a gift and card when I've visited the baby. Funnily enough the same people I know who have had baby showers are the same ones that plaster themselves all over facebook in the same attention seeking manner as their baby showers.

AdoraKiora Mon 25-Apr-16 11:01:48

They are hated on MN, but the ones I've been to have only ever been really lovely grin

yorkshapudding Mon 25-Apr-16 11:02:37

YANBU. I love babies, love buying presents for new babies etc but can't stand the whole baby shower thing. The cheesey games make me cringe and it all feels like an excuse to be 'grabby'.

CatThiefKeith Mon 25-Apr-16 11:03:25

YY to the Facebook attention seeking, along with pictures of piles of presents at the baby shower.

usual Mon 25-Apr-16 11:04:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AliciaMayEmory Mon 25-Apr-16 11:04:26

I've been to 3 or 4 and all have been lovely, non-grabby and a nice way to get together with friends before the baby comes and takes over their lives for a while.

YANBU to not like then, but just don't go to them. Not everyone is grabbing for gifts, some just want a bit of a get together.

AliciaMayEmory Mon 25-Apr-16 11:05:41

Ps the first one I went to was about 12 years ago, so they've been happening for a while.

Only1scoop Mon 25-Apr-16 11:05:42

Horrid and grabby and cringey....

Some mothers to be are now even arranging their own confused

Funnily enough went to my cousins in the USA and loved it but Leave their traditions where they belong....



TheCatsMeow Mon 25-Apr-16 11:05:48

It's not the grabby part that annoys me but the cheesy games and cutesy cakes really fuck me off.

I refused to have one despite one friend insisting that I should.

meditrina Mon 25-Apr-16 11:06:19

You don't have to have games at a shower! It can be any sort of gathering, and the only thing that marks it out is the purpose to 'shower with gifts'

I don't like grabby ones (hosted by the honouree, or with a list because traditionally they were for closest friends and you can co-ordinate among them by the old-fashioned method of the host actually talking to people)

Or any expectation that the gift with be anything other than a small shower-type present (shower, not deluge!)

usual Mon 25-Apr-16 11:07:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CatThiefKeith Mon 25-Apr-16 11:07:06

My view is somewhat soured by mil phoning in tears last night as she hadn't known sil was even having one til the photos went up on FB. Sil is late 20's and mil is late 60's. I suspect mil probably wasn't cool enough for the 'quirky' and very expensive venue that sil had hired for the occasion. sad

TheCatsMeow Mon 25-Apr-16 11:08:21

Is that why it's called a baby shower?! I've been confused about that for years...

I had an image in my head of an actual shower and didn't see the connection.

Only1scoop Mon 25-Apr-16 11:09:20

Yes like the 'bridal shower' across the pond.

RaeSkywalker Mon 25-Apr-16 11:11:39

I don't like them because of the expectation of a gift. Also my poor cousin had a late miscarriage which has made me a bit twitchy about giving gifts before the baby is here safely (though I appreciate that it is my issue).

I did, however go to a lovely event recently at which we all helped to make a patchwork quilt for the baby. No silly games, no presents, just a quilt and nice people to talk to.

CatThiefKeith Mon 25-Apr-16 11:11:49

I imagine the Americans probably do it better because they've been doing it much longer.

I've only been to one and it was very awkward and disjointed and nobody really knew anyone else. Almost like somebody had seen it on tv and thought 'that's a good idea' but hadn't actually been to one so it didn't quite work.

Whathaveilost Mon 25-Apr-16 11:12:12

Funny enough oi was talking to my son about baby showers as I was dropping him off at school. My opinion is I think it's nice for a close bunch of friends having a baby shower for their friend. All the photos I have seen on FB are young women in their 20s with their mates all excited about the forthcoming arrival of a baby and buying gifts ready for the arrival.

I think if it was around when I was having babies I would have liked one.
I don't think there is anything tacky about them - well I guess it could be like hen parties, birthday parties etc they can be as classy or as tacky as the group taking part.

I have also noticed it's not the mum to be that's arranged it but a close friend.
However I also love proms, seeing all the lads and lasses all dressed up looking forward to a night out together.

I also like Halloween parties and having loads of friends and kids around and watching ghost busters and eating pizza!!

BeautyGoesToBenidorm Mon 25-Apr-16 11:12:32

I know someone who nobody would hold a baby shower for, because she's a grabby entitled bitch, so she huffed and stropped about having to throw her OWN one, because she's a grabby entitled bitch grin

RaeSkywalker Mon 25-Apr-16 11:12:38

Cat that is awful- your poor MIL! Were you invited?

BeautyGoesToBenidorm Mon 25-Apr-16 11:13:50

Rae, the quilt idea is lovely - I actually really like that, and I detest baby showers. It sounds so nice and personal.

Pinkheart5915 Mon 25-Apr-16 11:13:51

The ones I've been too have been lovely.
I wouldn't of had one but one was arranged for me and I did really enjoy it, was 12 friends, a cake that was delicious, a few mocktails just like a girlie day really.

CatThiefKeith Mon 25-Apr-16 11:15:04

No I didn't know either, but was at work yesterday anyway, and tbh wouldn't have gone even if I could.

Mil is heartbroken though. Really really hurt. She didn't invite her mil either, who also does a couple of days a week childcare for her. sad

AdoraKiora Mon 25-Apr-16 11:16:22

I've never been to a shower with cheesy games.

My mum, sister and best friends organised a shower for my first baby, 12 years ago now. I was the first of our friendship group to have a child, so it was exciting and nerve wracking, and the shower was just a get together of my closest female friends and relatives to wish me luck grin. We had lunch in the garden at my mums house in the sunshine and people did bring along small gifts for me (not the baby grin). It was a really lovely day.

One of my best friends just had food and wine (for everyone else grin) at her house. No games. There were gifts, but it wasn't in the least bit grabby.

I also organised an afternoon tea shower for another close friend. I got everyone to bring as a gift their favourite childhood book to start a little reading collection for the baby. My friend was chuffed to bits grin.

Baby showers are like hen nights. They're as good as the people who organise them and those who attend. I'm not being funny, but I didn't go on a pub crawl wearing a veil and a stupid tee shirt and snogging randoms for my hen night...doesnt mean all hen nights are shit, though wink

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