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Your wife should be your +1

(123 Posts)
Gattabianca Tue 09-Feb-16 13:31:01

Background: DH likes watching football and goes often. I don't especially like it but occasionally go with him. I haven't been recently as he goes with his family so hard for us to get babysitter when they are all at football.
He's got friends in other areas who support the same team, so in the past he's been to watch games with friends in other cities.

Last week he told me he's going with a friend to watch a game in London. I said I'd travel down with him and take our little boy to do something nice in London. All fine.

Yesterday, I found out from his mum (who he offered the ticket to first but she can't go) that he's been given 2 hospitality tickets from a client, including lunch, seats in a box and free bar all afternoon.

AIBU to think that he should have asked me if I wanted to go?

I had a cheap day out in London planned but, in light of what DH is doing, WIBU to take our son somewhere lovely for lunch and put it on his credit card?

DontCareHowIWantItNow Tue 09-Feb-16 13:35:00

YABU in this case about the ticket. You admit you don't like football and his friend does.

YANBU to take your son out though wink

theycallmemellojello Tue 09-Feb-16 13:37:39

Everyone's entitled to have outings without their DP! I often go with friends to stuff without inviting my DH, and I wouldn't feel obliged to ask him if I got a free ticket somewhere. I don't see why he'd ask you if you don't like football.

deregistered Tue 09-Feb-16 13:40:13

No you are being mean - don't ruin this for him even if you keep 'joking' about putting lunch on his credit card. Just because you've found it involved food and booze you are stamping your feet. You don't want to go, let him go and enjoy it!

Gattabianca Tue 09-Feb-16 13:43:12

I like free bars!!

We both do loads of stuff with friends separate from each other. The problem is not that he's doing something without me, it's that he's doing something that I would love without asking me, or even telling me that he was doing it!

RosaDiaz Tue 09-Feb-16 13:44:50

I'd watch football if it meant a free bar all afternoon!
He knows it's completely different to just watching a game and doesn't want you to go for some reason. Give him dc & go out somewhere fancy

Nottodaythankyouorever Tue 09-Feb-16 13:48:48

He knows it's completely different to just watching a game and doesn't want you to go for some reason.

Why!! It is logical. OP doesn't like football and friend does.

talk about trying to look for things that aren't there

Shutthatdoor Tue 09-Feb-16 13:50:50

it's that he's doing something that I would love without asking me

It isn't something you love. It at the end of the day is still cebtred around a football match which you don't like. hmm

I seriously can't see the issue.

SaucyJack Tue 09-Feb-16 13:51:25

I dunno. I suppose it depends on your usual lifestyle/entertainment budget.

If you two never get to go out out together, and this really would be a massive treat then YANBU.

If you go out most months together somewhere naice, then YABU.

BaronessBomburst Tue 09-Feb-16 13:52:04

But you're not interested in the football. You just want the food and the booze. YABU. Let him go with someone who will really appreciate the full package and you can get drunk with him another time. confused

Terribleknitter Tue 09-Feb-16 13:53:11

It's not that different, if you end up being bored to tears with a free bar available you'll just end up bored to tears and drunk!
It's a waste to give a ticket like that to someone who doesn't even like football, YABU.

Gattabianca Tue 09-Feb-16 13:53:33

Exactly Rosa. I wouldn't be bothered about going to a normal game but I definitely do want to go to this. He knows that, which is why he hasn't told me.
I was being serious about taking DS out for lunch somewhere nice.

theycallmemellojello Tue 09-Feb-16 13:54:05

But it's more fun to watch a game with someone who is actually enjoying it too and not just necking drinks from the free bar. And you would still have to actually watch the game between trips to the bar! It would not occur to me that someone who didn't enjoy football might enjoy it when there was a free bar, it probably didn't occur to him.

JohnLuther Tue 09-Feb-16 13:55:43

He hasn't done anything wrong, you don't like football.

Arfarfanarf Tue 09-Feb-16 13:57:03

Maybe he wants to watch the game with someone who would be excited about it. Yes you would enjoy the free bar and the vip treatment but when his team scored and he was cheering by himself while you looked up from your martini with a raised eyebrow grin it wouldn't be as much fun as being in the posh booth with a mate cheering together and really enjoying the game as well as the freebies.

Gattabianca Tue 09-Feb-16 13:59:50

We never, ever go out together. Not because we can't afford it .just because there never seems to be time. he keeps saying we should do more stuff as a couple, then has the perfect opportunity to do something nice just the two of us and takes a mate instead.
We may not have been able to get a babysitter, in which case I wouldn't have gone anyway, but it would have been nice to be asked.
I don't hate football - like I said I go occasionally, I'm just not bothered about it like he is.

HelpfulChap Tue 09-Feb-16 14:00:37

When I had top tier corporate tickets for my team (worth around £500 a pop) I took my DW.

So I have a bit of sympathy with the OP.

Costacoffeeplease Tue 09-Feb-16 14:00:59

Of course yabu - why would he ask you to go?

Goingtobeawesome Tue 09-Feb-16 14:01:40

Talking about putting stuff on his credit card is immature.

Tell him you would like to go with him, ask him why he doesn't want you too.

DoJo Tue 09-Feb-16 14:01:46

I can see how watching a match with someone who is interested in it would be more fun for him. I cannot see how the addition of a free bar could change a football match from something you 'don't especially like' to 'something that [you] would love' and 'definitely do want to go to'. Perhaps he wasn't aware that you set so much store by free food and booze...

Inertia Tue 09-Feb-16 14:02:08

I'd be a bit cross about not getting the full story to be honest.

CottonFrock Tue 09-Feb-16 14:03:24

Honestly, OP, as someone without the faintest interest in football, but whose circumstances have meant I've spent a fair bit of time in those stadium boxes - they're utterly grim unless you're interested in the game. It's not a nice bar that happens to be inside a football stadium, it's a glassed-in space crammed full of people shrieking and howling at the pitch. The food is rarely particularly good, and the whole experience is centred on the game.

Honestly, would you go and sit in a football bar thronged with roaring supporters jumping up and down at a TV screen, just because the alcohol was free? Because that's pretty much what this is, only with the pitch down below as well as TV screens.

IShouldBeSoLurky Tue 09-Feb-16 14:03:28

Football in corporate hospitality is still boring and shit football. YABU.

MardyGrave Tue 09-Feb-16 14:03:41

This isn't the perfect opportunity though really is it? This is one of his biggest hobbies, and you'd just be there for the free stuff. The point of these vip days is to be 'immersed' in the football, chatting over your meal about the game/players etc.

If he had tickets for a Michelin hotel experience, then I'd feel a bit snubbed if my husband didn't want to go with me, but this is a football experience.

LazyDaysAndTuesdays Tue 09-Feb-16 14:03:51

the perfect opportunity to do something nice just the two of us

It isn't just the two of you and you don't even like football!

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