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To ask friend to meet me at the end of her mile long drive?

(29 Posts)
ChunkyStory Mon 01-Feb-16 08:49:19

I regularly (about weekly) bring back one of my friends daughters from primary school (this is simply a favour, I don't expect/get anything in return and it is only very occasionally reciprocated all of which is absolutely fine). I live in a nearby town but she is rural and lives down a track which is a mixture of big stone gravel bits,mud and holes. It's about a mile long down a hill.
AIBU to ask her to meet me at the end of her drive? I don't have a 4x4 and have to drive really slowly. I'm concerned about my tyres/suspension etc.
Our arrangement has been going for a few years now and I haven't said anything so far.

Cheby Mon 01-Feb-16 08:57:47

I was with you until you said you'd done if for a few years and haven't said anything. Has anything happened to you car so far? If not I imagine it's probably going to be ok.

In any case, you're doing her a favour so I don't think YABU to ask, it just might seem a bit odd after all this time.

Bluecheese22 Mon 01-Feb-16 09:00:48

I think after a few years that ship has sailed!

Veritat Mon 01-Feb-16 09:01:29

If you're doing her a favour I don't see why you shouldn't ask. I don't think the time you have been doing it matters, you can just say your car is getting old/you've noticed that your tyres don't last very well/the garage has said your suspension is dodgy.

Collaborate Mon 01-Feb-16 09:02:29

Has the state of the track deteriorated? They often do over winter.

If it has, just explain that you can no longer risk driving your car over the track, and she'll have to meet you.

juneau Mon 01-Feb-16 09:03:58

You're doing her a favour - YANBU.

0hCrepe Mon 01-Feb-16 09:05:36

I think that's a long way for her to walk uphill.

Only1scoop Mon 01-Feb-16 09:06:12

How often do you do this? I didn't understand 'about weekly' bit

Sorry blush

Arfarfanarf Mon 01-Feb-16 09:06:22

I would.
It would be daft to risk your tyres out of politeness.
Tell her you are struggling with the track and while you are happy to carry on giving the lift, she will need to meet you at the start of it because you can't keep going down it.

A puncture / suspension issue etc can happen at any time. Because it hasnt happened so far does not mean it cannot or will not happen. I think yanbu.

ImogenTubbs Mon 01-Feb-16 09:08:20

I cracked the subframe of my car once, driving up and down a track like this every week. Total write-off. YANBU.

EponasWildDaughter Mon 01-Feb-16 09:09:29

Tell her your tracking is out and your suspension coil is rusty and you don't want to risk trundling up and down the tack for the 'next few weeks' and could she pop up in her 4x4 and meet you.

(''next few weeks'' = from now on)

redhat Mon 01-Feb-16 09:13:05

How old is the child? We live down a very long driveway. I would be quite happy with someone dropping off my DCs at the end of the driveway and they can walk up the drive to the house. Unless she's 4/5 (which presumably she isn't if its been going on a few years) why would this be a problem? You're dropping her off in her own garden.

MagratGarlikAgain Mon 01-Feb-16 09:15:08

How old is the little girl you are dropping off? If she's primary aged but 11 years old, can't she walk down the drive to her house herself? If she's 6 years old I appreciate that's not a reasonable suggestion. Once she's secondary school aged, she'll probably be walking down her drive alone from the school bus drop-off anyway.

ProfGrammaticus Mon 01-Feb-16 09:17:08

I don't see why the child can't walk the last bit. I'd suggest that and if the mum isn't happy with it she can pick her up and drive her the last mile.

FarrowandBallAche Mon 01-Feb-16 09:18:04

Need more info.

How old is the child?
Has the track gotten worse?
Has it actually damaged the car?
Why now?

Only1scoop Mon 01-Feb-16 09:18:48

Is it every day?

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne Mon 01-Feb-16 09:27:56

Yep as Redhat and Margat said - if you've been doing this a few years presumably the child is 8+ and can therefore be dropped at the end of the drive to walk the rest of the way (as long as its light, which presumably it always is if this is straight after school not after an activity).

Just tell the mum you will be dropping the child off at the end of the drive as your car isn't handling the rough track any more - you have to let her know first but if she isn't happy she can tell you that she would rather collect her child at the end of the dive.

redhat Mon 01-Feb-16 09:28:52

You'll probably find her mother is quite happy with you dropping her at the gate. My DC have the run of our land and go down to the gates/in the woods etc all the time without being accompanied. Its part of living somewhere like that.

BarbaraofSeville Mon 01-Feb-16 09:29:23

Yes, the child should be walking up the track unless dark/rainy and where possible whichever adult is present in the house should come out to meet her, unless there are other DCs or vulnerable others that can't be left.

PolovesTubbyCustard Mon 01-Feb-16 09:31:46

YWNBU.

You are being quite generous enough delivering her child back to her anyway.

I would say that you aren't happy to drive up and down the track daily any longer.

EponasWildDaughter Mon 01-Feb-16 09:32:05

If the mum is happy and you do end up dropping the child off in future i'd want to quickly ring mum and tell her as you drop off each time. So she can expect the child at the door in so many minutes.

<worrier>

MidniteScribbler Mon 01-Feb-16 09:36:23

I'd drop her at the end of the drive, unless it's raining, in which case I'd drop off at the door if the road is passable. I'm presuming this is an older primary school student, not a very young one, in which case she can walk to the house. My farm has no reasonable access for anyone but a 4x4 and I wouldn't expect anyone to drive their fartboxes down it until I eventually get the tracks laid.

Greyponcho Mon 01-Feb-16 09:48:18

If you're dropping child off because their mum doesn't have a car, ask her to meet child at gate or have you considered changing it so you drop their child at the gate, phoning her mum to check she is in (so as not to end up with stranded child if mum isn't there for whatever reason) before she leaves the car?

Highlandbird Mon 01-Feb-16 10:20:39

Yadnbu!! We live two miles up a dirt track and I wouldn't dream of expecting anyone to drive up it without a 4x4, or even with! my car is trashed from driving up and down but that's my choice to live here, wouldn't expect anyone else to trash their car....especially if they were doing me a favour!! Also it's a massive inconvenience as it takes up a bigger chunk of your day.

Just tell her she'll have to meet her dd at the gate from now on because you've had a big bill from the garage, or don't want a big bill from the garage!

ExitPursuedByABear Mon 01-Feb-16 10:48:40

The wheel fell off my car because of driving up and down a bumpy track too fast.

I kid you not. The actual whole wheel fell off - like a dislocation I blocked the track. It was pants.

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