What do others do re DSC and nits?

[Cutecat78]

This may have been done to death - apologies if so.

Have DSD EOW - do not live close by.

I realise as a "step-parent" I am possibly an evil entity here on MN - so not sure if asking for advice or having a vent

Generally have good relationship with their mum - we have fallen out in the past about nits (I have DC of my own - older now but 1 of them has Afro hair).

I accept of course nits is part of having children. My beef is that OH has picked them up from school and dropped them home, seen nits falling out of their hair, mentioned it to their mum and we have had them a few days later for the weekend and clearly nothing has been done as they are riddled. Both have long hair so will take up to two hours to properly go through them both with conditioner and nitty gritty comb.

Today they were about to leave and DSD2 had something on her forehead, I went to remove it and saw it was a nit (we hadn't thought to check this weekend I accept that was an oversight on our part) and checked them both and they both have them, loads of nits and eggs.

I said don't worry it's not your fault etc just tell mummy when you get home DSD1 then said it is DSD2 fault because mummy gives them the nit com and they are expected to go through their own hair with it and DSD2 hasn't been doing it.

I can actually well believe this but I don't really know what to do about it. It's fire fighting getting rid of them twice a month for them not to be checked the rest of the month and whenever OH mentions anything to his ex he gets a load of abuse about what a shit husband he was what a shit parent he is (they split 8 yrs ago and she is with someone else) it's so hard - I just want her to deal with it for their sakes more than anything what do others do?

They were sent a while back and she sent a text telling him they had had nits and for him to "stay on top of it" they were riddled they did not just have a couple of missed eggs and thing is we usually do stay on top of it but it's hard when they don't live with us.

I don't really want them to feel like I (or OH) are obsessively checking them as soon as they walk through the door either.

[coffeeisnectar]

Poor kids. Nor m ally I'd say it's one of those things but if they aren't being treated at home at all and its being left til they come to you then something needs to be done.

Your dh could contact the school and ask them to intervene. You could get both dcs hair cuts and give them a spray to put on at home. You could have them over more and manage it yourself.

But it's the kids who suffer. I caught nits off one of my kids once, I had four of them in my hair and the itching drove me crazy. Being riddled with them must be awful.

[Cutecat78]

We have thought about getting their hair cut (DSD1 has asked and I think presicly for this reason).

But their mum will go ballistic.....

[ghostyslovesheep]

just use Hedrin once next time they visit - job done

[Cutecat78]

I dunno I went off Hedrin a bit with my own DD - but yeah maybe Hedrin and nitty gritty comb seeing as we can't go through it every single day (like I used to with my DD).

It does piss me off a little bit that it's left to us tbh (Hedrin isn't cheap) - but obvs not nice for them at all.

[teeththief]

scratching I'd get their hair cut and give them a repellent to spray on their hair plus shampoo with repellent in it. Although you'll have to de-nit them first as no hairdresser I know would cut their hair for them riddled with nits. I also think your DH should speak to school about it.

My DD went through a phase of catching them so you have my sympathy. The kids must hate it too

[NickNacks]

Yes hedrin once will do the trick and a quick check every time they visit. Tbh your DH is just as guilty leaving them untreated as their mother.

[teeththief]

Hedrin never worked for DD. We ended up using Vamousse (I think that's what it's called)

[Cutecat78]

We don't leave them untreated ......

[Artandco]

I would just put headrin on them also. Will kill everything then you can comb out. Anything left will still be in there but dead so you can get the last few out on next visit but they won't be multipliying or spreading in the meantime

Tbh you should be able to get all out the weekend at yours. Friday night headrin and comb. Saturday night comb again. Sunday lunchtime wash and comb again for any last dead eggs/ lice

Buy them some new hair bands and if old enough teach to plait own hair and add some hair spray before school so they are less likely to re-catch

[NickNacks]

Three comments in your op suggests he leaves it to her though.

[Artandco]

You can get headrin free I think

[Cutecat78]

My DD went through a phase too - but I checked her every single day and combed and combed abs combed with conditioner and the comb (which is the only thing that really works IMO).

[Artandco]

They are untreated if you haven't added any chemicals to kill them

[ghostyslovesheep]

how are you treating them?

[Cutecat78]

How do you get Hedrin for free?!

[NickNacks]

I've spent a whole weekend treating me and 3dc. It's a ball ache but those poor children can't be left.

[ghostyslovesheep]

you can get Hedrin free - it has always worked for my 3 - combing only works if you do it repeatedly for 2 weeks (or more then 7 days) which you obviously can't do in a weekend

Hedrin is expensive - but they are his kids

[Cutecat78]

I never really rated Hedrin I just smother them in conditioner and go through with the nitty gritty comb for about an hour Fri, Sat and Sun (OH and I do one each).

[ElsaAintAsColdAsMe]

If you go through their hair properly every fortnight (I assume thats how often you get them) then it won't get that bad. You shouldn't be the only one doing it, but what other choice do you have?

Give them repellent to keep and spray in themselves.

I would also get their hair cut and take their Mum going ballistic.

[Artandco]

You get headrin free on prescription if your in receivement of benefits

Otherwise every mine can get a free nitty gritty comb via doctors note I think

[Cutecat78]

I have a comb already am not in benefits.

[Cutecat78]

Hmm am going to get some tea tree oil shampoo maybe might get two lots one for here and one for home and make them a spray so at least they can try and take control themselves.

[kimlo]

You really are going to have to use the hedrin. Combing wont work if its not done at home, and a repelant spray is useless if they already have them anyway.

[Dungandbother]

How old are they? Do they go to school with their hair down?

Teach them to tie it and plait it to reduce risk. Sadly it could be that they are the cause of reinfection in the class. And every single parent is cursing them.

Do you have them for half term? Any extended period?

Good luck.

[NickNacks]

Tea tree shampoo is only a repellent though. They need treating with hedrin first.