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to ask for advice re gender fluid son

(170 Posts)
Fooshufflewickbannanapants Tue 12-May-15 22:13:25

Ok, posting here in the hope that someone can point me in the right direction, one of my sons has his promise coming up and wants to wear a dress with high heels.

I have no idea where to find a dress that will be cut to suit him, he is medium height but slender and obviously flat chested ( although he's not averse to 'getting' booms for the night.

Is there any where I can take him to shop or are there any online shops that cater for him? I've tried googling but getting nowhere.

Thanks

Fooshufflewickbannanapants Tue 12-May-15 22:21:32

Prom not promise!

RachelWatts Tue 12-May-15 22:22:19

A good dressmaker should be able to alter a dress to fit.

Is he used to wearing heels? If not, he might want to practice, and get some insoles.

Morelikeguidelines Tue 12-May-15 22:30:20

Phew, promise sounded like a very odd event indeed!

No real advice to give, but we'll done for being so supportive of you son.

Fooshufflewickbannanapants Tue 12-May-15 22:30:34

He's not bad in heels but I think practice would be a good idea, I NEVER even though of a dress maker!!

I tried Google but everything was very overtly sexual .

EustaciaBenson Tue 12-May-15 22:30:46

Whats your budget? A lot of higher end stuff is cut for that type of figure e.g. models with very little cleavage but obviously those brands are expensive, but you may find even the lower price ranges fit well, look for drapey fabrics, knit fabrics rather than anything with bust darts or stiff fabrics, and cowl necks look good, because they add a little volume where people expect it.

Fooshufflewickbannanapants Tue 12-May-15 22:31:59

Thanks morelike, lol I also put booms instead of boobs grin

Fooshufflewickbannanapants Tue 12-May-15 22:34:53

He wants a long black dress that's all he knows at the moment, tbh I don't want to spend a fortune on something he will only wear once or twice, proms weren't around when I left school, we just had a school disco and tried to drink mad dog 20/20 round the back !!

LauraMipsum Tue 12-May-15 22:34:57

How old is he? 15, 16 ish? He just needs to go for the shops that as a plump 'n' stumpy type I avoid grin Next "tall" sizes seem to be fitted for tall slender types and H&M too, presumably as a Scandinavian brand they cater to the tall. I don't know if they'd have anything suitable for a prom but All Saints have always been too tall and skinny for me too.

Springtimemama Tue 12-May-15 22:36:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EustaciaBenson Tue 12-May-15 22:41:04

What might work is going somewhere like debenhams or john lewis where they have a wide selection of dresses and trying on a variety, even if they are too expensive they will give you an idea of what to look for. My sister used to work for debenhams and they would get women coming in who had had a masectomy but not had the reconstruction, and so they would be able to chose a wider selection of "posh" dress styles tl see what suited them

EustaciaBenson Tue 12-May-15 22:41:09

What might work is going somewhere like debenhams or john lewis where they have a wide selection of dresses and trying on a variety, even if they are too expensive they will give you an idea of what to look for. My sister used to work for debenhams and they would get women coming in who had had a masectomy but not had the reconstruction, and so they would be able to chose a wider selection of "posh" dress styles tl see what suited them

justonemoretime2p Tue 12-May-15 22:41:29

Woah I thought "promise" was some kind of new hippy ceremony for I don't know.
Be right back.

LauraMipsum Tue 12-May-15 22:42:41

If I was six inches taller and a couple of sizes skinnier I'd go for something like this:

www.allsaints.com/women/dresses/allsaints-zepetelli-long-dress/?colour=451&category=22

or for a slightly less splurgey option this:

www.allsaints.com/women/dresses/allsaints-turo-vi-dress/?colour=5&category=22

Does it have to be black? This H&M one is nice:

www.hm.com/gb/product/89467?article=89467-C

As is this, and I don't think he'd need boobs for it as it would be a nice v-shape as it is:

www.hm.com/gb/product/89417?article=89417-B

Fooshufflewickbannanapants Tue 12-May-15 22:43:06

16, he's taller than me but that's not hard, I reckon bout 5'9 probably a size 6/8.
I'm worried of I just take him shopping the assistants may not be particularly helpful shock

Fooshufflewickbannanapants Tue 12-May-15 22:46:17

Love the second and fourth one Laura, he definitely wants flowing black frock!! Gaaaah

LauraMipsum Tue 12-May-15 22:50:33

Are you in London? If so the personal shoppers at Debenhams in Oxford Street have seen it all and won't bat an eyelid, phone them up and explain when you book that you're bringing your son and he wants a dress. I've been there with a cross-dressing friend (who is not a tall willowy chap!) and they were about as phased as if a girl turned up asking for a pair of jeans, i.e. not at all. They don't charge you for the personal shopper service either.

justonemoretime2p Tue 12-May-15 22:51:04

im a guy and I have never shopped for dresses before so I'm sorry if I'm stating the obvious but apparently his body type would be "boyish"

www.look-fabulous.com/work/dresses-for-boyish-shaped-women/

The first dress I saw looked awesome and suits a slender but petite frame. (I think I don't really know)

msgrinch Tue 12-May-15 22:51:32

Where abouts are you? I work in a bridal shop and we have a load of prom dresses in, in styles you've suggested. We also have a in house seamstres. If you're near and want he's more than welcome to come and have a look, no one will think anything of it at all, we've done a few prom dresses for teenage boys and a couple of wedding dresses to. smile

Ishoos Tue 12-May-15 22:52:30

I hope your son has an amazing prom. I would email one of the big department stores such as Debenhams where they have a personal shopper to see if they could help with styles, I would hope that they would be accommodating. Selfridges have just has a pop up a gender store, http://www.dazeddigital.com/fashion/article/24088/1/inside-selfridges-radical-gender-neutral-department-store, it finished mid April but they may be able to help personal shopper wise.

Pipbin Tue 12-May-15 22:55:31

Are there online forums or support groups? They might be able to suggest a dress maker or online store.

justonemoretime2p Tue 12-May-15 22:56:35

Boyish/slender/straight is apparently the same, I hope you have a great time figuring this out and working it out together and I hope prom is awesome.

Fooshufflewickbannanapants Tue 12-May-15 22:59:11

I'm in God's own country, so no where near London sadly, I'm not bothered by others and neither is he I just would like it to be a nice thing to do together ( ironically neither of my girls like girly shopping!)

So grateful for all your replies, my whirling mind will calm a little now I think!

JeanneDeMontbaston Tue 12-May-15 23:00:56

It sounds daft, but, if he wants to get his balance in heels, get him to do the week's shopping. Trolley to hang on to, nice smooth aisles, by the end of it he'll be fine.

Plus, you get your shop done for you. grin

Pipbin Tue 12-May-15 23:01:19

I'd love you to post a picture of him all dressed up but I understand if you can't.

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