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to ask if this OD guy is a fantasist?

(20 Posts)
tinofpeaswoman Fri 23-Jan-15 14:22:24

(for some background: I'm not really looking for my Prince Charming, more some "meet interesting people and maybe date if one takes my fancy". I've online dated for some time and really enjoy the process.)

He is in America and claims to be a "hedge fund owner". I am not in finance but assumed this was a fairly conservative job thing.

I did a bit of cheeky googling and I've found no trace of him on Linkedin on anything, apart from being in a Youtube video urging others to pay X amount to join this online scheme/business in about 2010. There is no information about how this scheme ended: it seems to have flopped in a low-key way.

It seems to go against my perception of some banker guy? We have been communicating mainly about hobbies and my work. He seems to use a lot of high flying business terms but I thought initially it was a cultural American thing.

I don't mean "I am gagging to meet him just because he claims to be in a certain profession" (I do well enough myself) but more as in I DON'T want to meet him if he is bigging himself up, as I'm not attracted to insecurity.

I have a fairly vocational profession and don't want to meet some "get rich quick scheme" type?

Would a bona fide hedge fund owner ever be fronting some "invite all your mates to pay X amount for this making money seminar"?

Is he a fantasist, in which case I will wind down down the contact? I haven't sent any money by Western Union or given him any personal details grin

EatShitDerek Fri 23-Jan-15 14:24:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StatisticallyChallenged Fri 23-Jan-15 14:26:54

I'd say grade A fantasist myself!

tinofpeaswoman Fri 23-Jan-15 14:27:57

I think his last e-mail was about coming to X city to meet me (I used to live there so that's the one on my profile) so he hasn't sent anything like that yet or I'd definitely be running screaming.

And the Youtube video showed an American guy who was the one in the OD photo.

I suppose I'm just wondering if some weird online history of failed companies (which a few very "solid" people I know would have) is what it appears to be on this occasion.

however Fri 23-Jan-15 14:28:47

You don't 'own' a hedge fund. You manage it. Big diff.

Rookie mistake!

HairyOrk Fri 23-Jan-15 14:29:12

If he really was a hedge fund manager then you'd find his profile online. I'd take a step further and say he's not a fantasist but an outright liar.
Avoid!

Teeb Fri 23-Jan-15 14:30:20

He sounds like a fantasist, yep.

Out of interest, what site did you meet him on? I'm guessing at it being a free to use site.

HairyOrk Fri 23-Jan-15 14:31:52

Just ask him when he got his CIMA qualification (or CFA) and start asking lots of complicated financial questions, that'll flush him out
and as PP said, you don't own a hedge fund.

notauniquename Fri 23-Jan-15 14:39:23

You don't 'own' a hedge fund. You manage it. Big diff.
maybe he's saving up for a career in topiary

timbrrr Fri 23-Jan-15 14:43:04

You can own a hedge fund. I know this because we have one.

tinofpeaswoman Fri 23-Jan-15 14:48:51

That's kind of what I wondered timbrrr: my reaction is half everyone else's and half "maybe he is just saying he makes a living as some sort of low-key private investor".

And I'm not getting it because of the cultural difference.

He hasn't told me he is in his beach house and flying first class and drinking champagne and eating truffles and selling stocks as he types and would I please send him some bikini shots of me, so he isn't trying too hard "with it" or I'd have red flagged him long ago.

InanimateCarbonRod Fri 23-Jan-15 14:51:31

The hedge fund error is a BIG red flag. Also the fact that you can't find a trace of him on LinkedIn. A hedge fund manager would have a traceable profile. Would you trust someone with huge amounts of money that had no traceability on the interwebs?

timbrrr Fri 23-Jan-15 14:53:02

tinofpeas just make sure he hasn't been on Millionaire Matchmaker, my current guilty tv secret grin

timbrrr Fri 23-Jan-15 14:56:16

I disagree inanimate. DH doesn't have a traceable profile except with companies house obviously, but I'm not sure that's what OP means. If you google TimbrrsDHname hedge fund you don't get any info at all but he owns one, (i.e. it is all his money, so far). So OPs guy may not be lying.

tinofpeaswoman Fri 23-Jan-15 14:57:26

Inanimate a few people I know in the UK (my ex partner included) make/made a fair bit out of property but because it's done as a private investor it isn't really tracable or on the record?

He hasn't actually mentioned he has a lot of money and that hasn't been a feature in our dialogue - just that particular job description which threw me?

I'm really not that invested (see what I did there eh eh? grin) just curious as to whether to let this contact drift.

tinselfan15 Fri 23-Jan-15 15:08:56

As long as he doesn't have a Nigerian bank account and doesn't ask for your bank details, you should be ok smile
My DP is in finance and he says that yes, there is such a thing as hedge fund owners, many young ones too and some of them can be very private as they wouldn't really gain anything from linkedin or twitter. But he could also just be some weird dodgy guy living with his mum. I would try and get to know him better before planning any transatlantic trips.

InanimateCarbonRod Fri 23-Jan-15 15:42:51

I stand corrected! wink

tinofpeaswoman Fri 23-Jan-15 15:49:16

Thank you for your input regardless Inanimate, that's the beauty of MN, lots of open perspectives.

I mean he may have been thinking I was thinking he's more of big fish than he is, which is also not very attractive: I prefer people who understate themselves a bit.

borisgudanov Fri 23-Jan-15 16:37:44

Hedge fund? I bet he misplet "Ponzi scheme". Don't know about fantasist but he's definitely a twat.

Where I live a hedge fund is a pot in which you save money for garden maintenance. YMMV.

tinofpeaswoman Fri 23-Jan-15 17:01:02

ha ha boris probably!

I've had a time in my life when I had a bit of spare income from my day job and was thinking "shall I put it into index trackers and learn how shares work and see if I can make some money?"

Which would have made me a financial trader of some sort, but I wouldn't have defined myself as such hmm

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