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To give my dd a lift to work and not charge her petrol?

(125 Posts)
lia66 Mon 22-Dec-14 21:39:16

She babysits for a lady 3 evenings a week. Lady is a carer. Dd earns £5 per hour.

The house is 3.2 miles away from our house down country roads.

Dh says she should pay petrol. I dont mind giving her a lift, she's hardly coining it in. If she goes to her bf after it costs her 2.50 for a bus.

Aibu? ( dh conveniently forgets that his mum drive him several miles to work and collected him for years at her age ). Dd is 19.

EatShitDerek Mon 22-Dec-14 21:41:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty Mon 22-Dec-14 21:42:25

YANBU to not charge her petrol money

But I have to ask why a non driver would take a job that's 3.2 miles away, down a country road?

How would she get there and back if you didn't have a car?

championnibbler Mon 22-Dec-14 21:42:56

i would not charge her either.

usualsuspect333 Mon 22-Dec-14 21:44:39

Of course you don't bloody charge your kids petrol money.

Suefla62 Mon 22-Dec-14 21:45:01

Buy her a bike.

simontowers2 Mon 22-Dec-14 21:46:19

I wouldnt charge her. DH is being very silly.

TerryDolittle Mon 22-Dec-14 21:47:28

No, I wouldn't charge her. I'd be proud she had found herself a little job. We all start off somewhere.
I might try and encourage her to look for work where she can be a bit more self-reliant or start driving lessons. But that comes down to her personal circumstances which I obviously don't know about.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Mon 22-Dec-14 21:48:24

I wouldn't Charge, but I would get her to make sure the car is clean < weather permitting>

LadyLuck10 Mon 22-Dec-14 21:49:21

Of course you don't charge her, she's your child fgs!

trowelmonkey1 Mon 22-Dec-14 21:49:22

YANBU. It's all part of being a parent and I'm genuinely shocked that your husband would even suggest such a thing! Especially if your daughter has no other safe way to get to work.

My son was ill last week and my mother made the 20 mile round trip every day for four days to look after him so I could go to work. She would never even think to ask for petrol money. I have got her gift voucher to say thank you, but I'll have to sneak it into her handbag when she's not looking. If I give it to her directly, she will just refuse to accept it!

Goldmandra Mon 22-Dec-14 21:50:50

My DD1 (17) took a job 8ish miles away earning very little last year with our blessing. We are very happy to sub her the fuel until she passes her test. I don't get people who think that, once they are 16, you have to start treating them like lodger or they are never going to learn to stand on their own two feet.

ILoveOnionRings Mon 22-Dec-14 21:51:02

I wouldn't charge either - I would be pleased she is giving it a go. DH should keep quiet!

lia66 Mon 22-Dec-14 21:53:55

The country lane is the way you drive to the job. She could walk 25 minutes to a bus stop then get a bus.

She just wanted a job, she was working for me but we had to close our business unexpectedly so she was left jobless a month before Christmas. All the seasonal jobs had gone by then.

She is looking for other work too and when she has enough money will be taking driving lessons.

If she stays at her bf then she can get a bus there and back for a £5 but she doesn't stay there every night.

Thanks for support, I didn't think is I but sometimes he makes me think I am.

thatstoast Mon 22-Dec-14 21:54:10

Is she in education? Looking for a better job (bearing in mind she's earning less than NMW)? What are her long term plans? I think for the short term it's fine but you don't want her doing it for years.

Bettercallsaul1 Mon 22-Dec-14 22:39:03

You are definitely not being unreasonable, OP! Doing things to help each other is one of the main ways we show love.

Sazzle41 Mon 22-Dec-14 22:43:23

Part time jobs are rare in the country, charging her petrol is mean. She is going to take driving licences so dont de incentivise her keen-ness to work.

LaQueenAnd3KingsOfOrientAre Mon 22-Dec-14 22:49:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MistAndAWeepingRain Mon 22-Dec-14 22:52:22

Of course you shouldn't charge her.

Your DH sounds tight and unpleasant.

Tobyjugg Mon 22-Dec-14 22:52:54

Never charged petrol for dc's. Still don't and they're now in their 20s.

JeanSeberg Mon 22-Dec-14 22:55:54

Is your husband her father?

lia66 Mon 22-Dec-14 23:09:46

No dh is not her father.

She's not in education, as I said, she was working for me up until a month ago.

I'm not going to charge her of course. Just annoys the bloody hell out of me that he goes on about it.

ILoveOnionRings Mon 22-Dec-14 23:28:06

Tell him to stop being a Bah Humbug - Mr Scrooge fwink

MomOfTwoGirls2 Mon 22-Dec-14 23:31:03

Is your DH her Dad? Sounds mean. I think Well a Done your DD on securing a part time job. If she were my DD, I'd be 100% behind her, and really annoyed at DH for even suggesting petrol money.

handcream Mon 22-Dec-14 23:35:35

I am sorry but if it was his DD, I bet he wouldnt dream of charging

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