This may be long, so for that I sincerely apologise...!
I'm the NRP to my 3yo DS, I have him 3 days a week and occasionally over weekends. I live with my DP and this Christmas will be the first Christmas together as a couple. It also transpires that my parents and my younger brother are without a place to go this year so I've said that we'd happily have them down. I'm also going to be having my son from 4pm through until the 27th, and so this is a massive deal for me. I love Christmas and for the first time ever I am hosting Christmas in my house and I'll have my family with me rather than being on my own/with ex-p's mum and dad.
Trouble is - my DP hates Christmas. And by "hate" I mean "loathes with all the depths of Tartarus"... He will not discuss it, he will not participate in discussions, he will not be cooking dinner, he has steadfastly told me that I have to buy my own Christmas presents, wrap them, and then give them to myself - he won't even write the gift label! - and he won't watch Christmas films or listen to Christmas music.
He has explained that, due to various traumas and stigmas growing up, that he hates Christmas, and I'm trying really hard to accept that. But I adore Christmas, so my compromise has been that I'll tone it down if he puts up with it with minimal complaint. He then countered that he'll "pretend to care", but only when my son is around. I was okay with that.
Cut to yesterday. I bought my son his own Magic Key for Santa to use. He loves the idea, ExP has one, my mum has one, and its considered a tradition nowadays. Well DS showed DP it, all excited, and DPs response was to tell him that it wasn't necessary because Santa is magic anyway so I'm silly for buying it, as I should "know better"...
He claims that was him trying to get involved and now doesn't know why I'm so furious with him - I'm angry because he could have gone along with it for 30 seconds until it had passed rather than calling me out on being an idiot in front of my boy - and that if I'm that annoyed at his "participating" then he isn't going to tolerate Christmas any more. Even tried convincing me to take the tree down... (yes my tree is up...no I don't care! :D)
Christmas is a massive part of me, and of my life, and I can happily go along with anything that he likes that I don't, why can't he do that for me IYSWIM?
I've tried being understanding and sympathetic towards his feelings, but it's seeming like he doesn't care about my feelings so why should I give a damn about his? Has anyone got any ideas on how I can go forward with this?
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AIBU?
AIBU about Christmas?
110 replies
AmericanFanjoStory · 18/11/2014 15:56
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