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to think the term "menz" is bloody irritating?!

(226 Posts)
Squtternutbaush Mon 03-Nov-14 02:03:22

Since we've had the recent influx of (anti)feminist threads appearing I've noticed that anytime an issue arises that might put males at a disadvantage they are dismissed with this bloody belittling term and its really starting to grate on me now.

I understand that in most peoples eyes feminism is about equality but it seems that some are intent on turning it into a war between women and men and being just as disrespectful to males as they complain that males are to females.

I'm not denying in anyway that feminism is a great thing or that women haven't been at a disadvantage forever but I don't see how this attitude helps the cause.

I have a son and a daughter and I want them both to have a respect for people regardless of gender!

Squtternutbaush Mon 03-Nov-14 02:03:53

*any way

VeryStressedMum Mon 03-Nov-14 02:13:02

What does it mean?

Squtternutbaush Mon 03-Nov-14 02:18:51

It seems to be used on here as a way of disregarding a problem that a man may be having because women suffer more "important" issues.

I.e I had it said to me once on a thread about domestic violence awareness because I happened to post a link to a male victim support page which was deemed as "sympathizing for the poor menz"

Squtternutbaush Mon 03-Nov-14 02:20:00

I should add it was a general DV thread not that of a poster looking for help or anything.

TsukuruTazaki Mon 03-Nov-14 02:34:37

I find it annoying as it's one of those silly words that people use when they think they are being cool and ironic, like "teh interwebs" etc. why can't people just speak properly?

Bogeyface Mon 03-Nov-14 02:36:59

YANBU

It lumps every member of the male gender together. Not every man is anti feminism or misogynistic or an abuser, but sadly some women do still seem to subscribe to the "all men are rapists" POV.

If men called us all "girlz" then there would be outcry but somehow this is seen as ok. It isnt.

Feminism is about equality and equality means everyone being treated with an equal amount of respect, by using this term they are doing damage to the very feminist movement they claim to support. Or to put it another way, women can be sexist too.

needaholidaynow Mon 03-Nov-14 02:49:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesooty Mon 03-Nov-14 05:29:17

I agree. It's supremely irritating. I automatically feel less respect for any poster I see using it.

however Mon 03-Nov-14 05:43:52

It's sarcasm. Often, it's very apt in the circumstances in which it is used.

Mrsstarlord Mon 03-Nov-14 06:37:48

Never heard it before but in the context you describe I'd agree with you OP. Can't really think of a situation where it would be appropriate to use whether sarcastic or not. Is there an equivalent phrase for women which is used?

JapaneseMargaret Mon 03-Nov-14 06:47:22

It's definitely a word I find way too cringey to use myself, but whenever I've seen it used, it's used to describe men as a group, at a population level, etc.

Of course, not all men are like that.

whattheseithakasmean Mon 03-Nov-14 06:47:35

YANBU - it is used to patronise the poster & belittle the issue they have raised in an exclusive, cliquey way. I can almost picture the posters that use it smirking to their FWR buddies at their 'clever' put down.

Lovecat Mon 03-Nov-14 07:13:50

You know, I really wish MN would make a 'We want to bitch about Feminists' board so that I could hide all these threads.

They come around with a depressing regularity - one starts, then another shedload spring up saying how awful those nasty FWR posters are and there's a pile on from anyone who's ever had their nose put out of joint/had their world-view challenged.

Generally I see 'The Menz' used on threads when a discussion about a problem that largely affects women, and HOW it affects women is being held and someone comes along going 'but MEN too!' and it derails the thread/takes away the focus.

Yes, men suffer too, and that's not something that should be dismissed, but where that's not the focus of the discussion I can understand other posters' frustration when women are CONSTANTLY asked to consider men's feelings and issues. Like that doesn't happen 99% of the time in RL.

I'd be astonished if people were to start posting on The Doghouse threads with 'But what about cats? Cats have this problem too! Here's a link to Cat Rescue that everyone should go and investigate!!' without it being challenged, so I don't get this preoccupation with crowbarring men's issues into every bloody discussion about violence, rape, you name it...

If there was equality of incidence, then of course the problem should be discussed equally, but while it is overwhelmingly women who are the victims of rape and DV I don't get why men get equal air-time. Consideration, yes, but to say 'Ah, men suffer this too' is to shift focus from the underlying issues being discussed.

I personally get very fed up of having to qualify every bloody statement with NAMALT for fear of being seen as a man-hater...

Missunreasonable Mon 03-Nov-14 07:26:10

I find it's used to belittle posters who dare to suggest that equality means respecting everyone regardless of gender and that some issues are prevalent in both genders. Using the term 'the menz' just makes the user of the term look desperate to make an invalid point and ridicule somebody in the process.

Mrsstarlord Mon 03-Nov-14 07:30:06

I might be being dim here but I thought feminism was about equality?

Although I've never heard this word before it seems clear to me that it is being used in a dismissive way, to dismiss the victims of abuse like that is awful. If someone did that to women there would be an uproar and rightly so.

Conversation is not one track, not one person or one group gets to control it, that's how ideas flow and debate occurs, why would you want to stop this?

I just don't get it.

Squtternutbaush Mon 03-Nov-14 07:30:20

I'm not saying its man hating and I'm not anti-feminist at all but I do think its dismissive and completely against the point of equality.

If my DS were being abused in a relationship I would want him to have access to support and not to be belittled because he has a penis!

I understand that most rape and domestic violence victims are female but that doesn't mean that the male victims experience is any less horrid.

Mumraathenoisylion Mon 03-Nov-14 07:36:26

What Lovecat said ^

Missunreasonable Mon 03-Nov-14 07:37:36

To add to my previous post,
I have had the term directed at me twice on here:

Once when discussing single parents and I argued that some men are single parents too and it wasn't always the men who got up and left (because my brother is a fab single dad after his partner left and don't want any contact with her children)
Once when I suggested that men and women both need to take responsibility for contraception and preventing unwanted pregnancy (with obvious exceptions).

Apparently both of those views means I am anti feminist and 'all for the menz'.

Squtternutbaush Mon 03-Nov-14 07:38:18

Also when did people start asking you to consider mens feelings specifically? I've never once been asked to do this, I was brought up to believe that respect has to be earnt and consideration should be given to all.

BastardGoDarkly Mon 03-Nov-14 07:38:53

Agree LoveCat

AllMimsyWereTheBorogoves Mon 03-Nov-14 07:46:27

I loathe it. It has the same effect on me as seeing a silly word like feminazi, which I used to come across on another messageboard. I just stop taking what that person has to say seriously.

I understand what Lovecat is saying, but I don't see this thread as anti-feminist. Use of jargon that only some people understand and accept is a very effective way to put others off from getting involved in a discussion.

Squtternutbaush Mon 03-Nov-14 07:50:02

Its more the term I have issue with than the concept if that makes sense.

I find "menz" incredibly patronising, especially in terms of how its used but then I absolutely loathe being called "hen" or "lass" too for the same reason. I'm Scottish so this is normal and I'm odd for hating it grin

FayKorgasm Mon 03-Nov-14 07:51:56

Lovecat really said it all. Women are having a discussion about something affects women specifically not women solely and you can almost guarantee that someone chimes in with But Men Have/Experience/Get.

Thisishowyoudisappear Mon 03-Nov-14 07:52:16

Yes, what Lovecat said. I understood the term 'menz' to refer to that crowbarring in of 'but this happens to men too' to any discussion centred around women, in order to derail. It is supposed to be belittling in that context I think, but not to men in general, more as a comment on the derailing. Hence the deliberate misspellings/typos in the phrase 'but what about teh menz?' It's a shorthand (and IMO useful) way of referring to that type of attempt to force women always to be thinking about and privileging men's needs.

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