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to think DP shouldn't have gone out - even for '10 mins'?

(119 Posts)
unlucky83 Thu 17-Jul-14 21:00:53

This evening I let DD2 (7) go to the playing field at 7pm for 30 mins with two friends (both just 8) ... about 5 min walk away, pretty safe quiet area but still across a main road and a side road...first time I've let her go without an adult/older sibling....

We needed bread and milk from the shop (DP forgot to get earlier)...about 5 min drive away.
Told DP I would get it and check on DD2 on the way - maybe let her stay a bit longer as I knew one of the other children needed to be home by 8pm anyway. So after 20 mins I told DP I was going and he reminded me to check on DD2! hmm.
Saw DD2 told her she could stay until 8pm -at same time we saw another of her friends with her parent and we had a chat I was out a bit longer than I planned. Then I went to shop. Coming back saw DP drive past me! He waved etc...I was shock.
He came back just after 8pm... his friend had lost something and asked DP to check he hadn't left it somewhere they had been earlier...
I said he shouldn't have gone out ... left no adult at home - what if she had an accident etc...
What if my car had broken down etc - he should have waited till I got home...
He said there was no reason for him to stay in when DD2 was out!
And it was only for 10 mins anyway (actually more like 20!) and not as if house was locked up - DD1 (13) was at home...

So who is BU? Am I overreacting? I know the likelihood of something happening was minimal...but I think he should have waited for me to get home...not like it was an emergency...
You just can't disappear off somewhere because your DC is playing out???

ThinkIveBeenHacked Thu 17-Jul-14 21:03:26

Im lost.

Your 13yo was in the house. Your 8yo was playong out. Why cant your dh go out for ten mins? Is the 13yo not capable of being in the house for ten mins?'!

susiedaisy Thu 17-Jul-14 21:03:41


FannyFifer Thu 17-Jul-14 21:03:50

I think yes you are over reacting.

CoffeeTea103 Thu 17-Jul-14 21:04:20

Your post is very confusing and unclear.

ilovepowerhoop Thu 17-Jul-14 21:06:41

I think it was more that no adult was home in case anything happened to the younger child who was playing out.

SanityClause Thu 17-Jul-14 21:06:58

If your 13 yo was home, then I don't see the problem.

WorraLiberty Thu 17-Jul-14 21:07:07

Are you seriously suggesting a 13yr old shouldn't be left home alone?

phantomnamechanger Thu 17-Jul-14 21:07:24

YANBU - he was the responsible adult while you were away from the home, he was the one the friends would have come running to if something had happened to DD. Not fair to expect a 13yo to react as an adult would in the unlikely event of something going wrong

CoffeeTea103 Thu 17-Jul-14 21:08:18

You're happy to let your 8yo play unsupervised away from home but worried about leaving your 13yo alone?

unlucky83 Thu 17-Jul-14 21:08:47

Yes sorry - no problem with the 13 yo being in on her own - it was the 7 (not 8) yo playing out I was worried about...
if anything had happened it would have been up to the 13 yo to deal with it ...and DP thought that was fine...

WorraLiberty Thu 17-Jul-14 21:08:51

Can the 13yr old not use the phone, or do you and your DH not own one?

This is confusing

HappyAsASandboy Thu 17-Jul-14 21:09:51

You were due back any minute, your 13 year old was home (and presumably capable of ringing your mobiles), your 8 year old had just seen you and been told she could stay out til 8pm and your DH was back just after 8pm?

Sounds ok to me.

I would have been worried if there was nobody at home, but your 13 year old could surely have coped with any likely emergency or phoned you or fetched a neighbour or something?

mommy2ash Thu 17-Jul-14 21:10:59

I don't understand the problem. a 13 year old is old enough to be at home for a few minutes. if there was an emergency I bet she could use a phone faster than any of you.

your younger child was out playing and you were checking on her going to the shop and coming home.

thenightsky Thu 17-Jul-14 21:12:28


NatashaBee Thu 17-Jul-14 21:12:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

itiswhatitiswhatitis Thu 17-Jul-14 21:13:38

I think you over reacted tbh. Your 13 year old was home and he knew you would be home shortly.

Tbh if you are happy for your 7 year old to be down the park out of shouting distance til 8pm I don't understand why this is such a big deal.

If he had gone out and no one was home that would be different

monsterowl Thu 17-Jul-14 21:13:40

I would say that leaving

monsterowl Thu 17-Jul-14 21:13:41

I would say that leaving

monsterowl Thu 17-Jul-14 21:13:41

I would say that leaving

monsterowl Thu 17-Jul-14 21:13:41

I would say that leaving

monsterowl Thu 17-Jul-14 21:13:41

I would say that leaving

monsterowl Thu 17-Jul-14 21:13:41

I would say that leaving

monsterowl Thu 17-Jul-14 21:13:41

I would say that leaving

monsterowl Thu 17-Jul-14 21:13:41

I would say that leaving

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