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to think that anyone who visits my house should expect my 2yo to want to play with them?

(110 Posts)
ithoughtofitfirst Sat 28-Jun-14 16:12:02

Cut a really fucking irritating long story short.

A couple of nights ago my brother and his boyfriend descend on me expecting feeding. They both snapped at my ds that they were too tired to play with him on arrival, sat down and played on their ipads. Neither talking to me nor playing with my son. Who was visibly hurt that his uncles didn't want to play cars with him. One of them was playing music through their Ipad too so cbeebies was drowned out. So there I am cooking for 5 people and have a sad little 2 year old moping around. When I left the room at one point I even heard one of them complain about feeling 'hen pecked'.

Aibu to think I should have told them both to leave?

(might be worth mentioning too that I have never asked them to babysit in the two years ive had him)

Days later still fuming and have the image of my poor little boy sitting in the hall calling their names.

LaurieFairyCake Sat 28-Jun-14 16:14:11

I'd have told them to piss off - why cook for such rude people confused

EatShitDerek Sat 28-Jun-14 16:14:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SquigglySquid Sat 28-Jun-14 16:15:11

If they don't want to visit you, why bother coming to your house? Sounds like a waste of everyone's time.

No. Not even a little unreasonable. If they're going to visit their nephew, they need to acknowledge him and play with him at least a little. He's 2 and doesn't understand needing space.

Bunbaker Sat 28-Jun-14 16:15:42

Some people just aren't interested in children, even if they are family. It hurts, but you can't make them show an interest.

That said, your brother was very rude and sounds like he is taking you for granted. I would have just done baked beans on toast for them.

KillmeNow Sat 28-Jun-14 16:16:56

Generally no I wouldnt expect to HAVE to play with a 2 year old if I was a casual visitor.I wouldnt ignore them but if I didnt want to play with them I would usually not visit until they were safely in bed at least. If they were still awake I would give myself over to the child for a short time. But I wouldnt expect for this to continue for the whole visit.

In these circumstances though I would have stipulated that food depended on interacting with both the hostess and her child. If they are rude enough to sit playing loud music in your house which you havent asked for then you need to be blunt. Dont let this happen again.

phantomnamechanger Sat 28-Jun-14 16:18:00

I would have thought that a family member close enough to expect to drop in unannounced close to a meal time, and expect to be fed, is close enough to expect to muck in and help/entertain the child as necessary - in fact I'd assume the reason for dropping by was to see the little nephew in the first palce.

Next time dont even let them in, they were seriously rude.

rembrandtsrockchick Sat 28-Jun-14 16:18:19

Seems like their manners were surgically removed at birth. Do not put up with this.

CeliaFate Sat 28-Jun-14 16:19:33

Cheeky sods. If you visit family then you should expect to socialise with them, including little ones.

softlysoftly Sat 28-Jun-14 16:23:17

Well they don't have to play work the 2 year old but it doesn't sound like they came to see the grown ups either? !

How odd to just walk into someone's home to be fed confused

Send the fuckers packing to McDonalds next time.

WorraLiberty Sat 28-Jun-14 16:24:56

Lots of issues there that need separating

Expecting to be fed, ignoring you, ipads blaring, talking about you when you left the room is RUDE RUDE RUDE.

But to answer your I don't think you're being UR to think anyone visiting your house should expect your 2yr old to want to play with them.

But YABVVU to expect everyone to want to play with your 2yr old just because they've come to visit you.

KoalaDownUnder Sat 28-Jun-14 16:28:39

I don't even understand this, tbh. Why do these two grown men arrive at your house (uninvited, I presume) and demand to be fed? And then sit there ignoring you, AND your son, while you cook for them? confused

My family is pretty informal, but this is completely rude and ignorant behaviour.

I would have asked my brother to please go and distract his nephew for a while!

"Excuse me dear brother, and dh's boyfriend - this is not a restaurant, and your nephew and I are not staff to be ignored once you have ordered your meal. This is a family home - mine and my son's home - and if you cannot be bored to treat us with the minimum of manners (which means NOT ignoring your nephew and drowning out his TV programme), then don't expect to be fed!!"

I'd be tempted to text or email that to them.

Sorry - that should be db's boyfriend, not dh's - I didn't check before posting. blush

EatShitDerek Sat 28-Jun-14 16:30:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty Sat 28-Jun-14 16:30:53

I'd be tempted to shorten SDTG's text to "Fuck off to Burger King next time" grin

Trapper Sat 28-Jun-14 16:32:24

How old are DB and bf?

Vinomcstephens Sat 28-Jun-14 16:34:11

I agree with Worra - very separate issues here. I certainly wouldn't feel obliged to play with/entertain someone's 2 year old if I visited their house - why would I? If I wanted to, fine, but I find it very odd that you would have this expectation. So in that, YABU.

However, your brother and his boyfriend were unspeakably rude. I wouldn't mind at all if one of my brothers turned up and cheekily expected to be fed but if he came round and ignored me and basically behaved like the arse your brother apparently is then he's get short shrift and certainly no meal. So in that, YANBU!

Inertia Sat 28-Jun-14 16:35:49

Under those circumstances I would have found myself too tired to cook - and so I would have fed , played with, and gone through the usual bedtime routine with DC.

Your visitors seem to think you were their on-call staff.

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 28-Jun-14 16:40:21

Yabu to expect them to expect to entertain your ds.

Yanbu to expect them to show some interest in both your ds and yourself though.

How bloody rude!

AwaywiththePixies27 Sat 28-Jun-14 16:40:26

So they descending on you because they wanted feeding and they think your 2yo is demanding?! I'm not surprised your pissed off. But then two grown adults who walked in expected food and didn't even bother to interact with the mother never mind the kid would have been booted back out my bloody door!

AwaywiththePixies27 Sat 28-Jun-14 16:41:00


StillFrigginRexManningDay Sat 28-Jun-14 17:03:42

They are rude cheeky fuckers and even if they didn't want to play with ds it wouldn't kill them to at least pretend to be interested in him and chat to him for a few minutes.
And no, they would not be getting fed in Chez Rex.

HermioneWeasley Sat 28-Jun-14 17:06:33

Why did you put up with it? Why are you still seething? You teach people how to treat you - stand up for yourself and your son!

LoveBeingInTheSun Sat 28-Jun-14 17:08:26

How rude, they would not have been fed in my house.

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