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To be so upset about abortion protesters?

(180 Posts)
CundtBake Tue 13-May-14 16:06:04

I have posted a few times about my pregnancy and my decision to have an abortion. I had medical treatment a few weeks ago that didn't work, and I had to return to the clinic today.

I've been an emotional wreck ever since I found out I was pregnant, it's not a decision I have taken lightly at all and the fact that my first treatment was unsuccessful has made it all the more traumatic.

On my way in today I was faced with protestors holding up huge pictures of unborn babies, shouting at me that my baby has a heartbeat and stuff like that. By the time I got into the clinic I was sobbing and haven't stopped.

My situation probably isn't an unusual one, it hasn't been easy and I will probably always feel guilty and upset. I feel so violated that these people think it's appropriate to make me feel worse, to judge me for a situation I assume they haven't been in (especially since a lot of them were men).

I then also thought, what about girls and women who have been raped? What about girls who have been abused and are way too young to carry out a pregnancy let alone give birth? How can they justify what they are doing without knowing every single persons situation walking into that clinic?

Their pictures are still haunting me. I just don't understand how people can do that and think it's ok. I understand everyone has their views on abortion which they are entitled to. But to actively go out and try to distress people like that, how can they think that's ok?

dawndonnaagain Tue 13-May-14 16:09:16

YANBU. I'm so sorry that this was done to you at time when you were already in distress. Is there anyone in RL who you can talk to?

dawndonnaagain Tue 13-May-14 16:10:13

(Don't let the pictures haunt you, they are often played with for maximum impact).

grocklebox Tue 13-May-14 16:12:37

These people are the scum of the earth. They make we want to advocate for post birth abortion to cover whatever age these bastards are.
I mean, what in the holy fuck is WRONG with these "people"?

Hope youre ok, OP. These people dont deserve a minute of your thoughts.

FreeSpirit89 Tue 13-May-14 16:13:01

I'm so sorry you had to face this

CundtBake Tue 13-May-14 16:15:44

DP is supportive but finding it hard to deal with too. He wasn't there today but offered to drive down and see if they were still there to give them a piece of his mind (I told him not to)

The clinic said it was legal and there was nothing they could do and the best option was to ignore them etc but it still bloody hurts.

fairnotfair Tue 13-May-14 16:15:48

brew thanks

redexpat Tue 13-May-14 16:18:11

That sounds awful, I'm so sorry and hope you feel better soon. thanks

bubalou Tue 13-May-14 16:18:51

Just wanted to post so you know that there are people who support you.

It's completely wrong what they do and your decision is your decision - these people need to get a job instead of protecting against something that for almost all women is a horrific ordeal.

Sending you some smiles and hope you feel better soon. smile

BumpNGrind Tue 13-May-14 16:20:23

I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of this and that those protestors have made you feel so bad.

Since getting pregnant, I've felt much more strongly about abortion rights. My baby is much wanted and will be loved and cherished. It's still absolutely terrifying and we both know that our lives will change forever. I cant imagine how difficult a pregnancy would be if you knew you didn't want the baby. We obviously have a responsibility to try and prevent unwanted pregnancies but it doesn't always work and it certainly doesn't remove your reproduction rights. I've seen a friend fall pregnant whilst going through mental health problems. Her tablets interfered with the pill. It was heartbreaking to see her mental health decline further as she agonised over the decision.

OP I hope you have lots of support in rl, you certainly have my support on here.

Ewieindwie1 Tue 13-May-14 16:24:23

Thinking of you and hoping that this thread helps. Tomorrow will be better.....

CundtBake Tue 13-May-14 16:31:49

Thank you all for lovely messages. I've said since my first post about this I'm so grateful for mumsnet during this shitty time.

I can't believe they can get away with it. I can't get my head around what kind of person would go out and do that. Not the kind of people I know that's for sure. Even the horrible ones.

HavantGuard Tue 13-May-14 16:35:04

They are zealots who don't give a shit about people. I'm so sorry you had to face that. They are impossible to stop because you can't counter protest - all normal, compassionate human beings can see that conflict outside clinics would only add to the distress of women using them.

Please be kind to yourself. You are doing what is right for you.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Tue 13-May-14 16:37:56

I'm so sorry OP, I think it's so wrong that they can do this.

I would love to know what they think the alternative is. Going back to back street abortions where women died or became ill? Would any of them fund or care for all these children? I doubt it.

It's a difficult enough choice, but thank god we have it.

workhouse Tue 13-May-14 16:45:59

This is something that makes me feel so boiling with rage that they are allowed to protest and heckle people in this way so close to a clinic. I feel for you OP, and wish that I or someone could have been there to escort you in.

Its a debate that should be carried on far away from women who are having to go through the distress of an abortion.

And the ones that have the audacity to call themselves religious, well I have no words.
Support here OP.

elliejjtiny Tue 13-May-14 16:53:21

That's awful, you poor thing.

It must be nice to belike these protesters and only see things in black and white.

KatraAllandra Tue 13-May-14 17:00:40

I'm so sorry you had to experience this, I hope you have plenty of real life support to overcome what is obviously a traumatic time for you and which has been made even worse by the actions of these people.

There has been a regular group of protesters outside my local sexual health clinic recently. They don't sound as horrible as the ones you had to face, but they still stand outside the clinic singing hymns and holding placards with the virgin mary on. Every time I see them it makes me so angry, not just for women who are considering or having an abortion but for all the other clinic users as it also delivers advice and treatment for teenagers, people with STI's, sex workers, etc. How many people will delay or even cancel having treatment for a disease because of them? How many teenagers will make bad decisions because these people put them off getting the help and advice they needed? They are actively damaging our society!

Protesters like them are terrible people and although it goes against my belief in the right to free speech and protest I do wish there was a way to keep them away from clinics.

Treeceratops Tue 13-May-14 17:10:35

Nutters the lot of them cake

ballsballsballs Tue 13-May-14 17:14:57

YANBU, they're a shower of bastards.

I'm sorry you've gone through this OP. flowers

TheWanderingUterus Tue 13-May-14 17:44:32

YANBU. I'm so sorry that this is all being dragged out for you and that you had to have the extra stress of those idiots.


Nocomet Tue 13-May-14 18:23:35

Hugs, brew & cake
Sadly many people cannot empathise with other people's situation. They haven't the courage to face what they might have to do in a difficult situation. So they hide behind religion, in their smug ivory towers.

It may make them feel safe and worthy, but it angers me greatly that they can't see that damage they do to very vulnerable women is hardly an act of Christian charity.

PotteringAlong Tue 13-May-14 18:30:19

nocomet where did the op say this had anything to do with religion?! confused

mytwoblackandwhitecats Tue 13-May-14 18:31:22

They are not supposed to speak. You have the right to report them and get them removed for this.

CundtBake Tue 13-May-14 19:13:32

Really mytwoblackandwhitecats I didn't know that. Who would I report too? Don't know who they were or how often they are there so perhaps if they're there when I go back in a few days I could do it then.

Andrewofgg Tue 13-May-14 20:10:20

CundtBake My sympathy and love to you. How anyone with my sort of body dare behave like this is more than I can understand. Or, indeed, anyone with your sort of body unless her private life is such that she could be in your position one day.

mytwoblackandwhitecats Please be careful: we do not know what country CundtBake is in. What these horrible people did may be legal where she is. Unfortunately.

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