Bit long, sorry, but i really need some advice.
DP's brother is getting married this year and the stag is coming up in a few months.
I've just come off maternity leave, but am unable to fully return to work because i'm having a fairly major op in April and the nature of my job (childcarer) means that i'm not able to sign people up for that short amount of time if i'm then going to be off for 8 weeks (i'm doing babysitting, holiday and emergency childminding at the mo).
We are pretty broke at the moment as a result, but as my parents insisted that i go for my operation instead of going back to work, they offered to give us any extra money we needed to get by for the next few months. This is UNBELIEVABLY generous of them as they are both retired, and although they are not badly off, it would mean digging into their savings a bit if something big came up.
I'm also having to sell a precious family heirloom at auction as well, to raise some extra funds.
So, back to the stag.
So a few weeks ago the best man emailed round saying 'we're going to be doing something such and such weekend, is everyone in?' kind of thing. DP said yes. He had a bit of birthday money and assumed that would cover it.
About a week later, best man emailed back saying, 'we're going for two nights away, doing 2 activities and are going out on the saturday for curry and clubbing. It's going to cost £230 just for the accommodation and activities.'
We were totally gobsmacked. We had no idea it would cost that much!! We thought it would be a night out in london or brighton, so £50 max for him. It doesn't include:
-travel
-food and drink for the friday and sunday
-food, drink and club entry for the saturday
- the £40 we've already paid for dp to do a different stag activity on a different weekend
After deliberating for about a week, it was decided that there was no way we could afford it. He was just about to email the guy to tell him no, when he received an email saying it was all booked and could everyone pay up. DP hadn't replied at that point, so this guy had booked without getting the final all clear from everyone.
So to cut a long story short, a private email was sent saying no, and the guy has come back saying 'could you just stay at the accommodation and thats it, it'll cost £120.'
DP is now wondering wether he should ask his parents for the money as they are well off and he knows they'd say yes. I don't think this is a good idea and tbh, a bit unfair on me and our kids, as well as my parents who are scrimping and saving. We're also having to travel to the other end of the country for the wedding anyway AND we still haven't sorted a gift AND he's already doing another stag activity.
I know it's his brother's stag and i do feel awful that he's in this position because of me, but i really don't think it's an option for him to go. I'm also bloody pissed that this guy booked it without getting a final confirmation from him and has put us in this position. I also think that if dp is going and just staying at the house and not doing anything else, then whats the point in going?
What do you think?