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To think leaving a dog on its own for 9 hours a day plus is mean?

(71 Posts)
Beavie Tue 22-Oct-13 22:19:04

Please settle this argument. Dp and I have been together 2 years and when we met I already had my dog, who is 9 now. I got him when I was pg with dd1 and since then have pretty much always worked from home, so my dog has rarely been left on his own for any more than a few hours. I recently started college 2 days a week and I get up half an hour earlier so that I can drive the dog over to my mum's house, otherwise he would be shut in for 8 hours.

Dp won't stop going on about getting another dog. He used to breed pedigree dogs and really misses having his own dog, which is fair enough. But the problem, as far as I see it, is that I will be going to uni next year so will not be around so much, then after uni I will be working ft, if all goes to plan. So we will both be working ft and I think it's not right to get a dog knowing that for its whole life it's going to be left at home on its own for at least 9 hours a day. My dog will be 13 by then so will be cracking on. My mum doesn't mind having him but she would point blank refuse to look after another dog, especially as she has two of her own.

Dp's view is that there is nothing wrong with leaving a dog that long for 5 days a week, as lots of people do it. I know that's true but it just doesn't sit comfortably with me. I know I would be the one tearing myself up feeling guilty about the dog being on its own. Opinions?

footballagain Tue 22-Oct-13 22:22:36

Do you really need to ask?

Ffs. I'm annoyed I bloody credited this with a reply angry

Lilacroses Tue 22-Oct-13 22:26:02

It doesn't sit right with me either OP. We have had to do this with our dog very, very occasionally but the rest of the time one of us is working from home or doing a short day. I really wouldn't have a dog in the first place if we had to leave her/him for the entire day, every day. We are fortunate that on the one day neither of us are at home we have some amazing dogwalkers that have her all day and take her out with all of their other dogs, she has an amazing time!

CiderwithBuda Tue 22-Oct-13 22:26:26

What is the point of having a dog then? Yes he might like to have a dog but your current circumstances not its a no go. It's not fair.

Has he watched the programme that was on recently about dogs getting stressed bing left alone?

Farmstay Tue 22-Oct-13 22:27:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OrNot Tue 22-Oct-13 22:27:45

YANBU. Would he like to be shut in for 9 hours with no use of a toilet, no company or entertainment?

shockers Tue 22-Oct-13 22:45:04

He used to breed pedigree dogs, but he'd be happy to leave a dog alone for 9 hours a day on a regular basis?

GatoradeMeBitch Tue 22-Oct-13 22:45:05

Yes, it's not right OP. My next door neighbours leave their dogs all day. They are very territorial German Shepherds so they leave the back door open knowing the house is safe, but the dogs whine and howl a lot.

I would like a dog but I'm looking for work and have no idea what my hours will end up being when I do find something, so I couldn't make that kind of commitment.

Remember the dog will be a companion to the one you already have, so not only would you be leaving him all day, his companion will disappear all day too. That would be very stressful.

lifeinthefastlane1 Tue 22-Oct-13 22:46:56

do lots of people leave their dogs home alone for 9+ hrs a day and think its ok? NO its not ok , dont back down on this, and you said the guy used to be a breeder ???

PinocchiosLeftNostril Tue 22-Oct-13 22:51:19

Would he agree to get a dog walker round 1-2 times a day if he really wanted another dog so badly?

Amy106 Tue 22-Oct-13 22:53:07

I agree with you. It is mean and I am glad to hear that your dog has human and canine company during the day. Dp really needs to rethink this idea.

Gileswithachainsaw Tue 22-Oct-13 22:55:13

It's a long time. It would need someone popping in at some point and walking/taking to toilet

jellybeans Tue 22-Oct-13 22:57:04

They do doggy daycare near me!

Scuttlebutter Tue 22-Oct-13 22:58:00

No, it's not OK - you don't need to ask do you?

The only way this could possibly work is if the dog was going to doggy daycare each day. But quite honestly, if you are working FT with all that demands, how on earth is he going to provide the time, training, input etc. that a dog (pedigree or not hmm) needs?

Sometimes being a responsible dog owner is about NOT owning a dog until the circumstances are right.

I can totally understand him missing being around dogs - but there are masses of ways of getting a regular doggy fix. He could start by volunteering for the Cinnamon Trust and walking a dog regularly for someone housebound or elderly - he would be bringing a huge amount of joy to both dog and owner. Most rescue kennels are always desperate for dog walkers and volunteer helpers.

Any reputable breeder would understand the importance of socialisation, training and welfare, and would not be happy to do this.

ShakeRattleNRoll Tue 22-Oct-13 22:58:01

it's more than mean it's darn right cruel.If the RSPCA knew about this they would be having words and possibly more for being cruel to an animal.They reccomend you should not leave a dog longer than 4.5 hours.Dob em in or have a word with em

FalseWidow Tue 22-Oct-13 23:00:16

I used to live next door to people who left their dog all day, every day. It barked literally all day. It was a rescue dog. Some rescue.

Yogagirl17 Tue 22-Oct-13 23:00:36

I think it's one thing if you already have a dog and your circumstances change. And an older dog may not need as much walking. When i got divorced and had to go back to work FT my then 12 yo dog was fine as long as he got a good walk morning and evening. He slept a lot anyway.

But do deliberately get a new dog - especially a puppy - when you know it would be alone all day, isn't fair. Unless you can afford a dog walker to come in and look after him during the day, or a doggie creche (such things do exist), then it's got to be a no.

ShakeRattleNRoll Tue 22-Oct-13 23:01:20

widow u missed your chane there to have the dog rescued by the rscpca ,next time dob em in .cruel bstrds

Beavie Tue 22-Oct-13 23:06:15

Good, I am right! No he wouldn't get doggy day care or pay for a walker as as far as he's concerned there is no problem with leaving the dog on its own. And I don't see why I should have to fork out for it, seeing as I am v opposed to him getting the dog in the first place. Yes he used to breed mastiffs, and therefore he thinks he is the authority on all things dog related, and when I try to argue I get a patronising "I think I know what I'm on about, darling, I did used to breed dogs. He would get up at the crack of dawn and take them for a good walk in the morning, then walk them again in the evening, apparently.

HorryIsUpduffed Tue 22-Oct-13 23:12:36

I totally agree with you. Which is why we don't have a dog.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone Tue 22-Oct-13 23:21:31

We used to have a dog, my housemate would be home with him til late morning or lunchtime , then I'd get home early evening. It's not ideal but it's what he was used to and he coped. I did feel extremely bad when housemate was on holiday and he was left for 8 hours or more while I was at work but my mum used to visit him in the daytime if she could. He coped. It's not what I would recommend though. He was a small dog who had always been left for several hours a day . A bigger dog who wasn't used to being left would be worse.

ColderThanAWitchsTitty Wed 23-Oct-13 01:15:21


ShowMeYourTARDIS Wed 23-Oct-13 01:46:31

Most people I know leave their dogs when they go to work. We're gone 8+ hours, dog is outside in the garden chasing birds all day. We give him lots of attention when we get home. On days when we're home most of the day, he wants to be outside quite often anyway.

If he has to be in a very small space I'd agree but if you have a room for him to play I see no problem.

ToomuchIsBackOnBootcamp Wed 23-Oct-13 02:27:20

See if you can get "secret lives of dogs" on demand/catchup and show him. If I recall correctly, in their experiment, 85% of the dogs showed separation anxiety at being left alone.

No it's not fair, and yes I agree very close to being cruel to the dog. They are social, pack animals who need, not just want, but need leadership, company and stimulation. We only took on our rescue dog because I work part time from home so am with the dog nearly all the time.

Please stand your ground on this. I hate to think of a dog being left alone for this long. Poor things must be desperate to wee if nothing else!!

NicknameIncomplete Wed 23-Oct-13 06:24:04

I am not really a dog lover but that channel 4 programme was interesting as well as heartbreaking.

It was estimated that 7 million dogs could be suffering from anxiety/separation problems without the owners even knowing.

I recommend anyone with a dog or who wants a dog to watch that programme.

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