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Online dating - 'No brats in tow please' from a mid-40s male. Seriously??

(179 Posts)
Mendi Thu 04-Apr-13 20:02:53

The following from the page of a slightly pudgy, looks 45-years old plus loser '42 year old' 'commodities trader':

'I'm looking for fun/ friendship/relationship, but am looking for an independent woman who can do 50:50, especially financially. No freeloaders please. No 'worn the t-shirt' types (but who've still failed to learn from mistakes & blame everyone else, but themselves). No 'free dinner/drink ticket' types. No 'baggage/brats in tow' types (do you really think a man wants someone else's mistakes or left overs to bother with? Get a reality check, pleaze). And no 'cheap easy trashy commodity' types. I could go on, and lament sometimes. Just someone who is honest and down to earth, but has moderate style, finesse and poise (plus can pay her own way in life, or did I already say that. Lol). Simple basics can go a long way. '

I have only dipped my toe in the water of OD and already realised it;s not for me. All blokes who expect your knickers to drop off at the mere prospect of hooking up with him, or like this guy, sort of 'don't bother me if you have ANY baggage at all' even though at my age I must surely reasonably expect that any woman of appropriate age will have at least a failed relationship or a kid or two.

'No baggage/brats in tow types (do you really think a man wants someone else's mistakes or left overs to bother with?...'

What a charmer.

aurynne Thu 04-Apr-13 20:56:58

I can't see the point of ridiculing men who show themselves exactly as they are. This can only force these guys to hide behind lovely profiles, for the unsuspecting women just o find after a number of awful dates.

I agree that this guy's profile distils negativity, and even I, who never wanted kids and was using OD for a while, and in theory would have ticked all the boxes for this man, would not have contacted him, because his profile comes up as incredibly negative and he is not offering even a glimpse of the kind of things he DOES like (if any).

However, I would be grateful if all men in OD sites were as straight-forward and blunt as this one. Do you realise just how much easier the job would be if men (and women) were honest about themselves like this?

thezebrawearspurple Thu 04-Apr-13 21:02:44

At least he's direct and honest. I'm sure that there's a woman out there with an equally bitter list and they'll be perfect for each othersmile

I feel a bit sorry for him, sounds like he's been bitten a few too many times.

FairyJen Thu 04-Apr-13 21:07:27

I vote we all respond an set him up on loads dates where he ends up sat on his own like the toss pot he is!

Sailormercury Thu 04-Apr-13 21:13:01

I bet he gives great sad face FairyJen grin just like in the daily mail.

FreudiansSlipper Thu 04-Apr-13 21:16:42

I did online dating for a while lots of twats like him amazing how many traders are about too straight away that claim was off putting

SanctiMOMious Thu 04-Apr-13 21:18:10

wow. i live that he's advertising the fact that he's a dickhead. that's actually cobsiderate of him. wonder how many women thi.k he sounds nice. confused

pigletmania Thu 04-Apr-13 21:20:31

What a total utter twat, don't think he will have much success!

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Thu 04-Apr-13 21:23:17

Not understanding why people are defending someone who called the children of single mother's "someone else's mistakes or left overs" hmm

evansthebread Thu 04-Apr-13 21:28:52

Unfortunately, I know several blokes like this IRL. They usually manage to pull (bimbos mainly), but are soon single and looking again. They're always amazed at this and are never willing to shoulder any break-up blame.

I blame their mothers (who I've also had the misfortune to cross paths with).

MikeOxardAndWellard Thu 04-Apr-13 21:33:03

MadameOvary and Hecsy I genuinely laughed out loud. So true. What a total knob.

Ledkr Thu 04-Apr-13 21:33:24

I'd have to wind the fucker up and arrange to meet him by a penguin enclosure then watch him waiting grin

Mendi Thu 04-Apr-13 21:33:33

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

babybarrister Thu 04-Apr-13 21:37:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mendi Thu 04-Apr-13 21:39:06

To answer an earlier question, he's looking for women 30-49

RowanMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 04-Apr-13 21:41:26


Sorry to be so quick on the delete button, but we don't really think it's on to 'out' this person so publicly (although he does sound like one to avoid!)

Mendi Thu 04-Apr-13 21:43:35

Fairyjen I was so tempted to respond posing as a child-free wmoan (in real life I am a single mum lawyer with good job, not bad looking size 10, financially independent etc.) just so I could meet up with this twat and then give him the bad news... but then I discovered I'd have to subscribe to to do so, and couldnt be arsed to part with the £12.99 even though it would probably be worth every penny.

I have heard that is one of the worst sites for general dickhead blokes as well as those already married and looking for a bit extra though.

I may have to get a cat. It's all too depressing.

Mendi Thu 04-Apr-13 21:44:00

Argh! woman not wmoan

Mendi Thu 04-Apr-13 21:45:10

RowanMumsnet, he's already 'out': he's posted this shit on a public forum himself! No actual RL names are involved.

babybarrister Thu 04-Apr-13 21:45:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsAkimbo Thu 04-Apr-13 21:45:58

He sounds like a troll. Like, lives under a bridge and eats billygoats kind of troll.

What a fairytale...hmm

Gossipmonster Thu 04-Apr-13 21:46:21

All sites have them.

You just wade through the chuff and eventually you meet a like minded soul smile

Tenacity Thu 04-Apr-13 21:46:41

At least he is honest. Any woman who contacts him knows exactly what she is getting into.
Although his language is abrasive and rude, the honesty is refreshing.

MadBraLady Thu 04-Apr-13 21:54:15

More red flags than an SWP meeting. Quite depressed that people are reading this nasty, biting, judgemental negativity as "honesty" actually. And we wonder why people end up in abusive relationships.

TartyMcTart Thu 04-Apr-13 21:55:16

Can't see the problem?

RunningAgain Thu 04-Apr-13 21:58:27

Don't fancy wading through the chuff...

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