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To refuse to pay for School leaving party without seeing the quotes?

(359 Posts)
Sunnymeg Sun 17-Mar-13 08:57:43

DS leaves primary in July. Traditionally the leavers have a limousine to a nearby restaurant, a party there and the parents pick them up at the end. I know from other parents that in previous years this came to around £25 and I'm completely happy with that.
All the year 6 mums had a chat, about the leavers, do at the school gates and one of the parents offered to organize it. This is a parent who has had older children leave the primary and knows how it works. She said she would ring around, email everyone to let them know the costs and if everyone was happy she would book the limo and the restaurant.

Well, we have now heard from her, and she has already booked the limo, and also instead of a restaurant, she has booked a party session at a local play centre, as this is what her daughter wants to do and she thought it was a really good idea. She has asked for a £30 deposit and wants another £20 at the beginning of July. It costs children £12 for a day pass at this centre, and £8 for a birthday party so I can't see how her figures add up. I'm skipping over the fact that our DS doesn't really want to go to the play centre. as it is his last chance to do something with his classmates.

Am I being unreasonable to ask to see the quotes, I admit that I'm annoyed that she has booked the play centre off her own bat, is that clouding my judgment over the whole thing?

TheRealFellatio Sun 17-Mar-13 11:23:28

Has it Getorf? I have three children who have all left primary school within the last 10 years and I've never seen extravagance to this degree. They had a leavers' party but it was pretty low key - no limos, no restaurants. One was in the garden of a pub in the middle of the afternoon, can't really remember what the others did, but nothing fancy.

diamondee Sun 17-Mar-13 11:25:22

The limo thing is done at dds school, I'm actually dreading it. It looks awful, it causes so many arguments and the unpopular parents (of which I am one) risk not being told the details so their dc miss out. I with our school would ban it.

diamondee Sun 17-Mar-13 11:25:41


DeskPlanner Sun 17-Mar-13 11:25:45

That is stupid money. Limos for 11 year olds ! shock

Floggingmolly Sun 17-Mar-13 11:26:11

Last year our Year 6's had a picnic at the park next door to the school, then ran amok with super soakers.
I'd put a limo for a primary leaving party on a level with the helicopters at First Communions brigade; new money chavs.
I'm in West London, btw, not somewhere out in the sticks and I've truly never encountered this.

mrsstewpot Sun 17-Mar-13 11:26:45

Agree Fellatio - tradition! What bollocks!

It's not even tradition for secondary school leavers. In the USA maybe but not elsewhere.

SirBoobAlot Sun 17-Mar-13 11:31:07

How utterly ridiculous.

WorriedTeenMum Sun 17-Mar-13 11:32:15

I think that the people getting hot under the collar about whether this is appropriate/naff/not naff/whatever are missing the point that the OP wants help with:

- an event is being arranged for a group of children by one of the parents. That parent has taken it upon themselves to book something different and more expensive because that is what their own child wants.

Would the OP be unreasonable to ask this parent what the hell she thinks she is playing at why she is spending so much more than was expected for something completely different.

OP - YANBU to ask this parent who died and left her in charge why she has booked something different without consultation and why it is costing so much.

TheRealFellatio Sun 17-Mar-13 11:32:55

And as for senior proms, when my eldest son and his GF had their prom my DS wore a suit with a pair of Converse, she wore a lovely but simple, short cocktail gown and not a fake nail or a spray tan in sight, and I dropped them off in my own car ten minutes after everyone else had gone in, and they just sidled in unnoticed - which is the way they wanted it! I think they were both way to cool/cynical to even consider turning up in the manner of both ends of a pantomime horse on a carnival float!

My DS2 on the other hand would happily have let me remortgage the house to pay for a bespoke tuxedo and arrival in a helicopter of I'd suggested it.

However, he and his date also got 'chaffeur driven' courtesy of Fellatio Taxi Services, in an estate car, much to his disgust. grin

firesidechat Sun 17-Mar-13 11:33:39

Is this for real? Not really doubting it, but this kind of fuss over leaving primary school is something I've never come across before.

Think I must be getting to the "what is the world coming to" stage of life.

TheRealFellatio Sun 17-Mar-13 11:34:27

if I'd suggested it, not 'of'

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 17-Mar-13 11:37:14

Is making a mental note to plan something dd can't possibly get out of when she is in year 11 to avoid the ridiculous prom extravagance.

Dd leaves junior school this year. Don't think anything is planned other than a school leavers play. Prize giving is the day before school breaks up and they are presented with a book and a montage of them and now photos is played in a screen to "emotional music"

That's all.

TheRealFellatio Sun 17-Mar-13 11:40:21

Think I must be getting to the "what is the world coming to" stage of life.

you and me both firedside. grin

This is where I am glad to only have boys. I think generally speaking they are more laid back about this kind of thing and there is less pressure to conform to what 'everyone else's' parents are doing. Trying to reason with a little girl who thinks she really needs to swan around like Rihanna on the red carpet at the Grammys must be a nightmare.

The downside of only having boys is that I never did learn to get to grips with hair straighteners.

AllThatGlistens Sun 17-Mar-13 11:41:49

Oh dear god how tacky and just.. vulgar! All this pretension for 11 yo's? And helicopters for seniors?! Wow.

mrsstewpot Sun 17-Mar-13 11:46:41

I think the helicopters thing was a joke! Please tell me it was a joke?

Seriously though, OP in answer to your question YANBU! Strap on a pair, and demand to know why it is costing so much and why the hell final amounts weren't checked with other parents before booking!

freddiefrog Sun 17-Mar-13 11:49:31

Would a bunch of 10/11 year olds really want to go to a play centre? I can't see something like that going down well with our year 6s

We have a special assembly in the afternoon of their last day, which then ends up as a picnic with parents on the school field after school

Then in the evening, the PTA organises a leavers disco in the school hall - one of the Dads is a DJ, and the PTA supplies drinks, crisps and icepops (I think we charge £1). They have a blast.

I'd want to know why she went ahead and booked something without checking with that everyone else wants to go to a play centre and that people are willing to pay double the normal costs.

Checking doesn't have to turn into a rigmarole. Send out a letter with 3 choices with costs, and the parents vote.

rottentomatoes Sun 17-Mar-13 11:54:11

Limo? Nice! Nothing like showing primary school kids the importance of feeling like a celebrity. No wonder we have so many kids aspiring to do nothing but be famous.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 11:54:45

My DS leaving year 6 in July I have booked a limo for him and seven friends [they have no idea] and paid for it myself............... when I told the parents what I would like to do they would not hear of me paying for it and we all paid £25 each.......... Then the limo will take them bowling another tenner..... then the limo will take them to the beach where we are having a barbecue with the childrens families.............

To the posters who said they have never heard of limos for leaving year 6, where do you live MARS?????

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 11:56:34

It really is just a bit off fun... nothing more nothing less.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 11:56:49

of fun... oops

mrsstewpot Sun 17-Mar-13 11:58:52

I can tell you it wasn't fun for me as a teacher dealing with all that crap and it certainly wasn't fun for the poor souls who weren't invited to be in a limo gang.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 11:59:31

I have re read the thread and discos seem to be what most ''parents'' want.

My DS and his friends would hate that and would not go, lots want a disco cause its cheap.......

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 12:01:05

Mine will be fun.......... all children going are coming back to my house for snacks and the limo picking them up from there............ although they are unaware of it.

Other mums can get off their backsides and do something if they want.

Not my fault if they dont.

mrsstewpot Sun 17-Mar-13 12:03:24

What if they can't afford comfy? Are you providing limos and entertainment for the whole class?

TheRealFellatio Sun 17-Mar-13 12:03:34

Well I meant it as a joke because I NEVER would suggest such a ridiculous thing even if I had more money than Beyonce and Jay-Z, but no, I'm quite sure that had my son been given the choice of a helicopter he would happily have let us go into debt to provide that for him. grin He's a right shallow Flash Harry (gawd knows where he gets it from - certainly not me or his dad) whereas my other two could not give a flying toss for such ostentatious nonsense.

(I am talking senior prom now though - not leaving primary school)

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