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Locked out of DH's garage

(615 Posts)
auroramusisamica Sun 18-Nov-12 22:16:30

Am silently fuming as DH has converted our garage into his 'studio' and refuses to give me a key. It has been about a year now and I didn't think much of it first, we agreed it was his place to work, is filled with his things and I had no desire to go in there.
However it has been dawning on me that I don't like being locked out of part of my house. There have been occasions when I wanted to access things (like blank DVDs or paint brushes) and couldn't get them.

I do go in there with him but I have asked for a key, several times over the last few months and he says I don't need one, it is just his stuff, he doesn't want me in there going through things etc.

If he had just given me one first I would have no interest but now it has become this big issue and his refusal is making me want to go through it (which is not like me, I know he has porn there & I don't mind, but he knows I know this so must be something else right?)

So AIBU to want a key, surely if he had nothing to hide he would just give me one?

GoldenAutumn Thu 22-Nov-12 09:20:10

I can hardly see the sky on this thread, there are so many vultures circling. hmm

echt Thu 22-Nov-12 09:47:08

GoldenAutumn the OP posted on AIBU, not Relationships.

Kethryveris Thu 22-Nov-12 10:36:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BelaLugosisShed Thu 22-Nov-12 12:11:13

Our PC, my laptop, DH's laptop, the ipad, my kindle fire, both iphones - they are all password/code protected, but we both know the passwords to all of them, I even know the unlock code for his work phone.
If this is a real situation, He is hiding something or he is bonkers has severe issues.

DH fantasises about a study of his own that is protected by an iris scanner but that's all it is, a fantasy, he would never actually do it ( I think hmm ).

Its an odd one, If OP's partner was up to something, you would think that he would be more clever about it, open door, open computer etc. but secret files or external hard drive squirelled away / false wall panel etc. or have I seen too much CSI? grin
The second he was out of the house ( after refusing me a key) I would have been in there like Miss Marple, I don't know how OP is keeping a lid on it.

chubbychipmonk Thu 22-Nov-12 12:28:39

Agatha. . . It was sarcasm, it goes without saying that is the worst possible outcome for the OP. . however is a very real possibility of it becoming a reality if she doesn't put her mind at ease & find out once & for all exactly what is going on.

OneMoreChap Thu 22-Nov-12 13:40:26

Wow. A degree of privacy is normal. If DW had an unlock key to my work phone that would have been a dismissible offence; now, I would just never work again if one of my employers found that out.

OP knows what she wants to do, knows that DHs behaviour is odd. Up to her now

BelaLugosisShed Thu 22-Nov-12 15:42:34

Not everyone's work phones require MI5 levels of secrecy hmm
Knowing your partner's passwords is not the same as going snooping either.

I often wonder how people who seem to value secrecy in their relationship ( seperate bank accounts etc.) would go on if a spouse died or was hospitalised in such a way that made communication impossible , most things are online now and require passwords to access bank accounts and the like.
What ever happened to "what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine" within a marriage?

IneedAsockamnesty Thu 22-Nov-12 21:10:10


Completely with you on that if any of my employees had there work phone not password protected or gave the password to anyone outside the company they would be sacked very quickly without exception, that also goes for iPads and laptops

They would also find it impossible to get other employment in a simerler field.

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 22-Nov-12 21:26:35

FGS, some people, including myself, have jobs like that, some don't. The OP's DH is a musician. I doubt, unless he is writing jingles for Coke or has someone's unreleased album on his laptop, that he is bound by anything like that level of expectation.

Occam's razor, everyone. If you hear hooves it is drugs or porn a horse not MI5 a zebra.

BelaLugosisShed Thu 22-Nov-12 21:28:02

Simerler? Your field presumably isn't any kind of proof reading then?

BelaLugosisShed Thu 22-Nov-12 21:30:45

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 22-Nov-12 21:41:35


IneedAsockamnesty Thu 22-Nov-12 21:54:42

Bela and yours obviously requires no manors.

I personally would never have employment that required me to proof read because I have dyslexia and autism I do however employ people to do all my written work when I'm working as well as to keep me away from normal folk who may possibly be offended by my oddness

I use mums net without assistance other than a spellcheck ( that I'm certain fucks up more than me) to allow myself a bit of privacy. I'm sorry if that offends the spelling police. Feel free to correct any of my spellings in the future even ones that are already correct because I won't know the difference.

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 22-Nov-12 22:05:01

that I'm certain fucks up more than me. Never was a truer word written.

HoobleDooble Thu 22-Nov-12 23:26:10

I think I'm erring on the side of a power trip. My friend's exH would have done something like this given the opportunity and the more she asked for the key, the more he would have enjoyed having that control, and would have dug his heels in even more. But she'd let him get away with this sort of crap just to keep the peace, he's still being an arsehole know over maintenance and intact issues, he always has to try and have some kind of hold over things.

mam29 Sat 24-Nov-12 20:43:35

whats in the garage? I need to know!

beeny Sat 24-Nov-12 21:53:52

What is in garage i cant bear the suspense

midori1999 Sat 24-Nov-12 22:04:48

I'm so disappointed. I've been stalking this thread and I fear we will never find out what is in the garage. What a disappointment!!!!

beeny Sat 24-Nov-12 22:12:27

I wish i had never read it.

LilllyLovesLife Mon 26-Nov-12 09:05:06

OMG - after putting in far too much time into this thread during the week, I was dying to check back after being away for the weekend, and nothing! I hope OP has done something, or she may regret it down the line.

Jux Mon 26-Nov-12 15:58:35

Well, I don't blame op for not coming back; there was so much nonsense on this thread. Poor woman only wanted to know how normal it was to have a dh lock you out of a room, and she got pretty well everything from organised crime to paedophilia to another woman. And now people are rubber-necking and getting peeved because the op hasn't done her next episode for them. As someone said upthread, it's not bloody East Enders.

AgathaF Mon 26-Nov-12 16:50:30

Well said Jux.

quietlysuggests Mon 26-Nov-12 20:15:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 26-Nov-12 20:21:09

Agree Jux

This scenario hasn't been invented for our amusement.

I hope we get to find out what happened (in due course), but I don't expect

flow4 Mon 26-Nov-12 20:38:55

I wouldn't come back if I were her... So many people were obviously hoping that her life was about to fall apart... Why would she expose herself to that again?

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