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to think it must be possible to have breakfast and feed a 16 month old?

(119 Posts)
ICBINEG Wed 17-Oct-12 09:20:10

As the winter approaches my 16mo has been sleeping later. So far so good. But every morning for the last few weeks, I get up and get ready for work and am about to set off when DD poops and I get a plea from my OH to help change her nappy. DD then wants breakfast and my OH insists that it isn't possible for both of them to eat at the same time. So if I don't stay and help DD with her breakfast OH won't get fed till her afternoon nap time.

Previously it wasn't an issue for me to change and fed DD her breakfast but now it is making me late for work every day.

So AIBU to think that stay at home other halves can in fact change nappies and get themselves and a 16 mo breakfasted without needing assistance?

Flisspaps Wed 17-Oct-12 09:22:41

Tell him to change her nappy himself. There's no reason for him to feed a 16mo other than to prepare her breakfast, surely? She'll be perfectly able to feed herself!

MrsMangelfanciedPaulRobinson Wed 17-Oct-12 09:22:46

He sounds utterly useless! Of course it's possible for him to eat and - shock horror - look after a baby. How the heck does he think SAHMs manage?

What? Your OH is being a loon - my 17 month old feeds himself breakfast and has done for months, my 3 kids eat breakfast while I make the older 2s packed lunches... Why does he need you to help him change a nappy? Leave him to it, imagine the confident glow he'll get when he manages all by himself shock Is he a new SAHP or does he just start work later?

LolaDontCryOverSpiltBleach Wed 17-Oct-12 09:23:42


Tell him 'this is what she likes this is where it is', and then go i promise he will feed himself as soon as he is hungry.

He will not starve, and the nappy is just ridiculous tell him no i'm off now and he will change it because he has too.

Catsdontcare Wed 17-Oct-12 09:23:58

Yanbu your oh is being ridiculous!

Catsdontcare Wed 17-Oct-12 09:24:59

I suspect the oh will turn out to be a woman!

Even if your DD does need to be spoon fed your OH could surely eat his while she played afterwards? I used to child mind 3 children all aged between 11 months and 20 months and I still managed to change their nappies and eat with them confused

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Wed 17-Oct-12 09:26:36

YANBU. Your DH is being feeble. It is perfectly possible for him to eat at the same time as looking after a 16 mo. Does he think all single parents, or parents who have to cope mostly on their own just starve themselves until nap time? Ridiculous. Tell him to grow a pair and man up!

ICBINEG Wed 17-Oct-12 09:26:50

He has been lone sahp for over a year now. I went back to work at when DD was about 4 months.

I know he can do nappies I mean he must do during the day....

The breakfast thing is slightly trickier as DD doesn't cope well with spoons and cereal yet. Maybe messy breakfast is just a thing we will have to do...I don't see how else she can learn to manage a spoon unless we let her try.

This morning was particularly aggravating as having made DD weetabix she declared she wanted banana and kept herself totally occupied with that the whole time DH was eating....

ICBINEG Wed 17-Oct-12 09:27:34

cats why do you say that? Would it be different if a woman?

Cats even if this is actually a man posting about his wife it doesn't change the fact that anyone (given exceptions of ill health etc) can change a toddler's nappy and eat while they eat etc. Not coping is fair enough but those specific tasks taken in isolation are not hard! I knew a mum who claimed she could not change her DD's poo nappies alone because she couldn't keep her still - she thought she had some freakishly wriggly/ strong toddler, so her DH wasn't allowed to go to work til after the morning poo, but strangely one day her DD pooed while out and she managed fine - on the back seat of the car too! confused

Snowboarder Wed 17-Oct-12 09:28:38

Before my toddler could feed himself I got up, changed and (quickly) breakfasted whilst he was playing in his cot in the morning. I just chucked a few toys in there and he was happy to wait 15 mins until I got sorted.

Maybe your husband could try similar then he wouldn't need you to help him in the morning?

halcyondays Wed 17-Oct-12 09:29:01

I guess a 16 month old may need to be spoonfed, I can't really remember but couldn't your oh just eat breakfast afterwards?

Rikalaily Wed 17-Oct-12 09:29:47

He's being a lazy git, how does he think everyone else does it? Even if the 17 month old won't feed themselves, he could sit and eat his while spooning cereal to the baby every now and then which is what all the rest of us do when eating at the same time as a baby.

I think what he means is, he want's to eat his breakfast in peace every day and doesn't want to change a pooey bum first so prefers to get you to do it.

Just leave for work and let him get on with it, everyone else has to manage. I don't eat breakfast but I have time to have a cuppa and read the paper every morning before the school run and I only get up at 7am and have four kids (2-10) I've always had time to do this no matter what age the kids were, it's about being organised.

ThatArtfulPussy Wed 17-Oct-12 09:30:25

That's utterly pathetic. One child to look after, and they can't both eat breakfast at the same time, and he can't change nappies. You are facilitating this behaviour and making yourself late in the process. That cannot continue.

Flisspaps Wed 17-Oct-12 09:30:27

Cats Good point - I've assumed it's a man, but the OP hasn't actually said so blush

OP, your OH would have a shitfit at breakfast time here. My 2yo AND 6mo feed themselves breakfast and I get to eat mine at the same time!

Not getting a 16mo fed until afternoon nap time is not on - no breakfast or morning snack if you don't feed DD, and you have to do the nappy? You're having the piss taken out of you!

ICBINEG Wed 17-Oct-12 09:30:27

hmmm a lot of these strategies seem to depend on the toddler playing. DD doesn't do this. She doesn't play in her cot AT ALL. If left in her cot she will simply scream.

She also doesn't stay in the high chair once eating is done. Again playing in the high chair does not happen, she just starts screaming.

Is this unusual? If so any idea what we can do about it?

Flisspaps Wed 17-Oct-12 09:31:52

Give the toddler something she can feed herself with her hands. Toast, shreddies, mini weetabix.

Most 16 month olds can feed themselves if allowed to try - I assume this little girl is not being allowed to try (and improve her co-ordination through practice) because Daddy doesn't want to clean weetabix off the walls afterwards grin

lambethlil Wed 17-Oct-12 09:32:43

Walk out the door.

Literally,not permanantly.grin

ICBINEG Wed 17-Oct-12 09:33:41

We do eat dinner all together btw. I make it and we all eat together.

But I am pretty sure DH doesn't have lunch with DD and waits until she has her afternoon nap. On the days she doesn't nap, or is sick and waking every 5 mins he apparently doesn't eat at all and then complains when I get home that he is starving confused

OH is a man btw...although I sorta hoped responses would be the same either way...not sure why the gender of the sahp really makes a difference?

Catsdontcare Wed 17-Oct-12 09:34:10

I only thought it might be as the op never actually made it clear, my opinion still stands whether it's a man or woman. But I think there is sometimes a double standard on mn and if A man wrote the op many people would suggest they obviously weren't pulling their weight somewhere along the line.

Anyway in my opinion male or female it is perfectly possible to eat when caring for a child of ANY age

ICBINEG Wed 17-Oct-12 09:34:25

theenglish you must be joking....any weetabix cleaning gets done by me while dinner is cooking...

Flisspaps Wed 17-Oct-12 09:35:09

No difference - I think it was just that some of us made an assumption of 'bloody useless bloke' despite you having not said your OH was a man grin

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