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to want to punch my dd dad in the face???

(187 Posts)
Mummyof2Girlies Fri 05-Oct-12 21:19:53

hi im new to this just wanted some advice. my dd whos 4 goes to her dads every other weekend and tuesday afternoons. we spilt wen she was 14 months and has seen him regularly on these set days. im now happily engaged and have another dd 15 months. exp is a pain in the butt always poking his nose in makes sarcastic comments spoils dd1 to the point of extreme. she asks every day if her daddy is picking her up or if she is seeing her daddy today it makes me feel like shit like im not gd enuf. dd1 has just started school and he was there on 1st day helped pay for uniform etc. since she started i have told him about parents eve, gave him newsletters even though he gets the same emails we do. when he picked her up tonight he said ever so casually "oh by the way ive joined the pta, didnt u know there was a meeting one of the mums told me on tuesday and ive been elected secetary i dint really want to do it but i thought as its my daughters future education" hes organising events at school and he said oh i can take her to the disco and im organising a bake sale and xmas bingo which i can take dd1 to.
aibu to think hes trying to take my daughter away to make himself look better at school? i mean he works ft as a manager htf is he gonna have time to be a pta secetary?? he is trying to be her mother!!!! ive been fighting this role since she was born! any advice welcome sorry to drag on! xx

sausagesandwich34 Fri 05-Oct-12 21:22:46

or maybe he just wants to be an involved parent?



SirBoobAlot Fri 05-Oct-12 21:22:53

She's both of your daughters. You're totally over reacting, and sound like you're either bitter because you're not together anymore, or jealous of the fact your daughter still has a good relationship with her father.

Don't be so cruel, and, well, foolish. A lot of single mothers would love the fathers to take an interest like your ex is.

And yes, saying you'd like to punch anyone in the face is unreasonable.

Get a grip.

WorraLiberty Fri 05-Oct-12 21:23:36

He sounds fantastic!

Sorry but I don't think he's trying to make himself look good at all or take her away.

He's just interested in helping out so why not?

Plenty of Mums do it so why shouldn't Dads?

Chubfuddler Fri 05-Oct-12 21:24:09

Punch him in the face by all means.

Just don't be surprised when he calls the police. Or punches you back.

GotMyGoat Fri 05-Oct-12 21:24:12

Erm... from your post it sounds like he's trying to be a good dad? So many children have absent fathers who don't want to know. Why do you think he should be excluded from your DD's school world?

I'm sure there's more about your past that's not coming across in your post, and if he is trying to mess you around with all this, then that's obviously not on - but otherwise why do you need to be involved or care what he's getting up to - would he be reasonable if he was angry that you had joined the pta?

RobynRidingHood Fri 05-Oct-12 21:26:47

I dont know what your area is like but at out primary PA all the parents were full time working professional people. So your remark about how he will have time is really so pathetic.

Narked Fri 05-Oct-12 21:26:55


He's reliable NRP who looks after his daughter, contributes for extras like uniform and wants to be actively involved in her schooling.

Remind me what the problem is again?

imperialstateknickers Fri 05-Oct-12 21:27:05

Step back and read your own post objectively.

And <<<<breathe>>>

Let it go. He loves his daughter and wants to be involved. You're coming over as a spiteful silly cow. I'm sure that's not who you want to be.

Binkyridesagain Fri 05-Oct-12 21:27:48

What exactly has he done wrong? From your OP he is involving himself in his daughters life, nothing wrong with that.

Chubfuddler Fri 05-Oct-12 21:28:56

Indeed. Workaholic DH joined the PA last night. Everyone there works full time.

DameFannyGallopsAtaGhost Fri 05-Oct-12 21:31:06

Agree with the other posters I'm not seeing what the problem is? What sort of sarcastic remarks and spoiling do you mean in your post?

SoleSource Fri 05-Oct-12 21:32:20


IneedAgoldenNickname Fri 05-Oct-12 21:33:52

Do you wanna swap him for my sons Dad? He sees them most Sundays but only for a few hours and won't contribute towards anything as he gives me maintenance which according to himis already more than I need!

Sorry but IMO yabu!

Whistlingwaves Fri 05-Oct-12 21:34:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoMeDon Fri 05-Oct-12 21:35:01

If you don't feel good enough that could be a reflection of how you feel about yourself. I would focus on you and your relationship with your DC. Let EXP get on with his relationship with his DD, FWIW he sounds like he wants to be a good father and you are taking it as a personal slight confused

HandMini Fri 05-Oct-12 21:36:23

This is a wind up, surely. Er, what has he done wrong?


IneedAsockamnesty Fri 05-Oct-12 21:36:43


and i think seeing nastyness where none is, he sounds like hes doing a great job

GhostofMammaTJ Fri 05-Oct-12 21:37:18


Tuttutitlookslikerain Fri 05-Oct-12 21:37:21

YABU. NRP can't bloody win, if they don't do anything they are feckless, if they take an interest they are "trying to be their mother".hmm

He sounds like a good dad to me.

My DH was on the PTA when he had a full time job, I never have been even when I have been a SAHM.

arthurfowlersallotment Fri 05-Oct-12 21:37:24

Flip this post, and imagine it was a man talking about his ex in the same way. What would you think?

He sounds like he's being a good parent, and your child is fortunate to have him.

Pickles77 Fri 05-Oct-12 21:38:29

You need to remember this is about your DD- not a competition against each other.

I only wish my 3 week olds dad would take more of a interest,

allnewtaketwo Fri 05-Oct-12 21:38:48

He's trying to be her mother? Because only mothers are supposed to be actively engaged in their children's lives? hmm you sound pissed off because you've not actually got anything proper to slag him off for. DH's ex is like this-she wants to tell anyone who will listen that he's a shit dad and so gets enraged when he attends school functions etc cos it spoils her story

OrangeandGoldMrsDeVere Fri 05-Oct-12 21:38:50

From your OP you do sound unreasonable.
Is there more to this?
Do you think he is doing it JUST to be controlling? Has he form for this?

If not, he really is just being a good and involved father. I am afraid my OH who is lovely doesnt even know what bloody class our DC4 is in yet!

We have had a few words and he is pulling his finger out though.

Inneedofbrandy Fri 05-Oct-12 21:38:57

Do you want to swap with either of mine please?

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