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to think my 5yr old shouldn't be pushed around by teaching staff

(411 Posts)
youcantparkthatthere Fri 21-Oct-11 10:50:05

Hi First post, this has been niggling away at me for a week now. I recently attended a ceremony and my sons school which was been held in the local church. He is in a class of perhaps 16 children. As I watched the children file in I became increasingly annoyed at how one of the teaching staff was manging the children. it was clearly the childrens first time at one of these events and they were understandably unsure of what to do. Some of the children were going into the pew in front of or behind the one the teacher wanted them to go in. However the teacher/TA's response to this was to repeatedly, and IMO, too roughly take hold of the children and physically direct them into their intended seats. We're not talking here about a guiding hand on their shoulders, more like two hands firmly on their shoulders abruptly turning them in the desired direction and pushing them into their intended place.
To me this is quite clearly using physical force to get a child to comply with instruction, as distinct from a reassuring physical guidance. In my line of work, social worker, this would be considered a breach of the children's act and consequently illegal. Similiarly if any of the staff I managed conducted themselves in this way, I would at the very least be forced to issue them with a formal warning.
I'm not a bleeding heart liberal, I believe children need very clear mangement and a sense of no meaning no, (along with yes meaning yes, i.e. keeping promises etc). The main thing that is getting to me is the fact that I'm sure the school would discourage the children behaving like this to one another, so the adults should be modelling this in their own behaviour.
I feel I need to speak to the headteacher but I'm worried this will either be blown out of proportion or minimised. I also dont want my son standing out in a small school as the child whose Dad interferes/overreacts.
Any thoughts. It pisses me of that people think they can negate childrens right to respect and civility just because their small.
In the spirit of fairness I should declare that I find the woman in question very cold and somewhat abrupt with the children, in stark contrast to the rest of the school team, (wholly unsuited to her job imho!)Sorry if too long.

FearTricksPotter Fri 21-Oct-11 10:52:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

snice Fri 21-Oct-11 10:52:38

I have to tell you that if you go and see the head about this you will be marked down as a loon parent on the big list in the staffroom

ShirleyKnot Fri 21-Oct-11 10:53:07

Gordon Bennett.

worraliberty Fri 21-Oct-11 10:53:10

Meh biscuit

Herding 16 five year olds quickly into seats in a church does require a bit of 'hands on shoulders turning'.

I think you'd make yourself look quite mad if you complained.

FearTricksPotter Fri 21-Oct-11 10:55:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sirzy Fri 21-Oct-11 10:55:24

YABU. where any of the children physically or mentally scarred by being guided to the right seat? I very much doubt it

ShirleyKnot Fri 21-Oct-11 10:56:32

grin BTP.

It's a bit bonkers round here lately

altinkum Fri 21-Oct-11 10:56:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wannaBe Fri 21-Oct-11 10:56:34

get a grip.

youcantparkthatthere Fri 21-Oct-11 10:59:03

Bloody hell they get back quick to you on here!!
Thanks for reply. Ideally I would like the physical stuff to stop, of course, and If I were shooting for the moon i would like the headteacher to speak to the children as a class group and say something like, "us grown ups have been thinking that sometimes we could manage you all better than we do, so we will only touch you if you need help to feel better about something or if you are doing something dangerous to yourself or somebody else. If you dont like the way someone has touched you it's important that you tell someone"
As I said shooting for the moon. I'm not looking for the person to be dragged over the coals, I'd be happy for the subject to be discussed broadly in a meeting, nor am I hoping that my son has an "apology", it concerned at least half the class. As I said originally, it just gets my goat that people think it's okay to treat children in a way that an adult would find unacceptable.
I think I'm going to be a bit rubbish at this MN stuff my entries seem way too big!

LeBOOOf Fri 21-Oct-11 10:59:31

Not too hard now, wannabe.

LeBOOOf Fri 21-Oct-11 11:00:26

<reads second post>

<falls on floor howling>

You gotta love Fridays.

worraliberty Fri 21-Oct-11 11:01:28

If I were shooting for the moon i would like the headteacher to speak to the children as a class group and say something like, "us grown ups have been thinking that sometimes we could manage you all better than we do, so we will only touch you if you need help to feel better about something or if you are doing something dangerous to yourself or somebody else. If you dont like the way someone has touched you it's important that you tell someone"

Yep you're a Social Worker alright.... hmm

backwardpossom Fri 21-Oct-11 11:02:17

"us grown ups have been thinking that sometimes we could manage you all better than we do, so we will only touch you if you need help to feel better about something or if you are doing something dangerous to yourself or somebody else. If you dont like the way someone has touched you it's important that you tell someone"

Is this for real?

LeBOOOf Fri 21-Oct-11 11:02:24

<wipes tear from eye>

BeaHededd Fri 21-Oct-11 11:03:55

I was having a crappy morning but your second post had made me really laugh so thank you for that grin

altinkum Fri 21-Oct-11 11:03:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

worraliberty Fri 21-Oct-11 11:03:57

<weaves another lentil>

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 21-Oct-11 11:03:58

Blimey... have a word with yourself OP. hmm

piprabbit Fri 21-Oct-11 11:05:46

I think the problem with not touching children as they file into their seats would be:

1) the church filled with adults repeatedly calling "Johnny....Johnny...No, Johnny not that seat....the row in front....no, not behind....Johnny, the row in front.....Jessica, follow Johnny....Jessica....Jessica.....Please sit next to Johnny, Jessica", while the children gaze around themselves blankly, feel a bit overwhelmed, try and sit next to the friend that they've just spotted in a different pew etc.etc.etc.

2) The whole process would take much, much longer.

I think you are over-reacting.

LeBOOOf Fri 21-Oct-11 11:06:15

I've done enough MNing for the morning. I think I might go and touch myself in my special place for a bit.

snice Fri 21-Oct-11 11:06:15

I've changed my mind-your name won't be on a list in the staffroom-you'll be on the special laminated card of all the top loony parents thats handed out to the staff on inset days

piprabbit Fri 21-Oct-11 11:07:08

LeBOOOf - if you don't like it remember to tell someone.

worraliberty Fri 21-Oct-11 11:08:11

piprabbit grin grin

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