Do I stay or do I go? Work stress or meno.

[Cauliflowercheeses]

Hi all

hopefully I can get some alternative views on this as i am driving myself insane.

have worked in the same private family run firm for 10+ years. Business was bought out a year ago and I continued with the new Dirs. they pushed me from three days per week to four and that is slowly creeping up.

I get a reasonable salary, equivalent to around £20 per hour.

the problem is that the mental load is killing me. I’m not sleeping, stressed all the time, feel sick on a Sunday. Currently crying about the thought of the week ahead.

i have tried raising it with Directors and they let me recruit a junior (part time) but before she was even trained to support me, which takes a huge amount of my working day, they have announced they are merging us with another company they own and letting all their staff go.

when I try and tell them we can’t take on that amount of work I simply get ‘yes you can, your systems are amazing and you have extra help how etc’

I am so behind and there is work piling up on me everywhere. I can’t even take the time to train my new junior as it slows me down so it’s defeating the whole object of having her. Am I a terrible manager??

im on the verge of quitting. I’ve never taken a day sick in my life but right now I’m also battling HRT issues and need some perspective.

any suggestions of how to deal with this? Ideally I wish I’d have been made redundant and they kept one of the staff from the sister company but when I suggested this they said I’m too good. I can basically do everything in the business and am very good. I realise I have bargaining power but I’m just not confident enough to use it.

to add insult to injury I have been working more than my contracted 32 hours a week by going in early and staying late most days as well as dealing with emails on my day off. and Friday the Dir let everyone go home an hour early. I knew I couldn’t as I was so behind, so I stayed an hour later. This is the reward i get for my hard work.

is it a ‘me problem’??

Not sure 🤔 have covered anything but would love some suggestions please. I’m honestly not a career girl and just like a quiet life but know the grass isn’t greener. If I went elsewhere I’d have to work full time probably for less hours and at least o know I’m good at this job. Maybe I’ve just been here too long and can’t see anything else?

I feel trapped and on the edge of a breakdown over this.

thanks in advance x

And then you realise that to them, you aren’t even a person. You did the right thing for your son and that’s the most important job.

From a slightly different angle...

You are good at your job, but a new skill you need to learn is delegation skills. This could be discrete tasks that you give your junior to learn and work independently (I suspect they would also like to grow their role and do well, so you'd be helping them in helping yourself), but also pushing back on tasks rather than accepting them. Scheduling out your workload, and if something else gets passed to you, a fair assessment of whether you have the capacity (at the moment, you clearly don't), so not accepting the task. OR if you have to accept the task, push something else off your desk. Learning the art of saying no at work is a real skill, but if you say yes to everything, the people asking will assume you have the capacity. I also check in on timescales for tasks so I am able to prioritise my workload.

No one is irreplaceable, but neither should they be!

Hi all

just popping back to update.

I have been on work this week. Spoke to everyone concerned about how I was feeling and got a lot of support and also some feedback that I haven’t been delegating. So interesting that a lot of you suggested this too. My bad.

I also got a small pay rise and a huge thank you and Directors acknowledged that they have been dumping on me.

it’s not fixed but the issue has been brought out in the the open.

thank you all for working through this with me and taking the time to listen and advise in a non judgemental and balanced way.

xx