Can I ask my doctor for a sick note for work related stress?

[Chels182]

Hello, this is my first time posting but I could really use some advice as I have never had a sick note for anything other than being physically ill.

I have been seriously run down and stressed with work recently. I work at a private nursery. However, I have had a few days off here and there for various reasons which is where my stress has started, 1 day when i started in March for a viral illness which happens so easily when you start at a new nursery you get ill straight away.
I then moved to another location and got sick again, i had a cough for weeks and was not getting any better I was getting worse, so i got a sick note for over a week from my GP.
Then the week I came back, my grandmother passed away. I took a week and 2 days off to go back home and be with my family. This was in may and I had not been sick since or had any other time off, I was stressing enough being off for my nan aswell as being off ill, thinking I would have been in "trouble".
Then around 2 weeks ago I came down with the Flu on the Wednesday, still went to work on Thursday when i really shouldn't have but phoned in sick on the Friday and the following Monday.

Our protocol for phoning in sick is to phone the manager, then the nursery owner. I understand she wants to cut down on phoning in sick for the sake of it, but it makes you feel like you aren't trusted as a staff member. When i phoned, her reply was "Haven't you been off loads lately" with the last time being off was a month and a half before for my nan's funeral. I was absolutely fuming that someone could be so cold, and it's not the first instance that she has give this attitude to someone it's happened multiple times.
When i came back there was a letter going around saying "people should not phone in sick when they are not sick, if they do from now on this will be dealt with accordingly and straight for disciplinary" so she obviously did not believe I was even ill. I have been stressing looking for another job, even got an interview for something else but couldn't attend as i got declined the time away from work.
The work load asked is unreal and I am constantly anxious about going in to work that i just cannot go in tomorrow, I had a weeks holiday last week that i had to take I haven't slept or eating the past few days even thinking about going back and my anxiety has gotten 10x worse than what it already was.

Can I ask my GP for a sick note for work related stress? can he say no to giving me one? What would I even say to work tomorrow over the phone?

What's most worrying is that you don't understand the concept of being let go for taking lots of time off, whatever the reason.

According to you, you have had at least 20 days off since March.

It's the equivalent of working a four day week - can't you see why it's an issue?

Poor you OP. If you're cracking up and you're not going to starve I'd pack it in if I were you, have a bit of down time and try and get back out there. Constant anxiety is so tiring and bad for your self esteem.

Also there's not a set amount of time that it's acceptable to grieve a death. I took three months off when DM was dying. Hugs.

@NaturalBornWoman Well, there is no "acceptable" time to take off. I did not want to take that amount of time off, but i could not afford to fly back and forth.. I put my feelings, my family first who I had not even seen in nearly a year. So that is completely irrelevant to this conversation. No I did not "choose" to take it, how could I have known what was about to happen? If i had of been in the same country as my family then I would have taken less time. My manager was completely understanding of it all.
I also did not come for employment advice and to be told I am not employable, I asked about a sick note and explained why, that is all. Apart from this job i have had 2 others, both for long periods of time and the only reason for leaving the first was because I moved. This is the first job I have dealt with this.

@MT2017 I do understand that my job is at risk. but a job that I is damaging my mental health? making me depressed? job over health? no thank you. Also I do not know where you have got 20 days from, 12 all together. I am entitled to holidays which I explained was not what I would have done, I had to take them and pick a week to do so.

@thisnamechanger That is what I am doing, I am hoping I get this interview that I have this week, I will be so much happier. I've lost stupid weight and sleep over it all.
and no there really isn't! It's baffled me how insensitive people are on here over me taking a WEEK off to be with my family for a sudden death. i won't be coming on here again.

Also I do not know where you have got 20 days from, 12 all together.

She got at least 20 days from being able to do the maths with the info you provided in your first post. A day for a viral illness, six days minimum("over a week") for your cough, seven days for your bereavement ("a week and two days"), two days for the flu, and five days for your holiday. So 21 days in total. Don't have a go a MT2017 if the info you provided yourself is not true!

The way I read it "bereavement" leave was taken from the 2 weeks annual leave OP had to take. Inconvenient for employer as unplanned, but understandable.

OP it is a crazy amount of time you have had off in a short period and your employer is not being unreasonable to say this and be concerned at this level of absence in a new employee who hasn't built up a record of good attendance and trust. Your absence impacts your employer and you presence is missed. They appear to have been more than reasonable so far, in most companies I have worked for 3 absences in a 12 month period kicks off the start of a formal absence referral/disciplinary process.

It is obvious you are this job are not suited, hopefully you will find something new and more suitable before you are dismissed (remember they can easily do this as you are there < 2 years). Keep talking to your employer and if they do move to dismiss you consider resigning/negotiating references first.

Good luck with the job hunting.

@TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross I have actually sat with my manager and she had counted them it is 12 as 2 of the days I was given for my nan were made up with longer shifts throughout the week so they don’t count. so maybe I have not made it clear at the start. However.. isnt everybody entitled to a holiday? do not see how that is counted or should even be seen as part of absence as it’s not included even with my manager.
I’m handing in my notice however as i got a job today that is more suited to me

Honestly, OP, you sound a nightmare employee. You have no appreciation about the impact YOUR attitude and behaviour have on your colleagues and on your employer. Nobody on this thread has been unkind (apart from me!). Posters have been sharing their life experience and expertise and you are so sure you are hard done to and deserve to pick and choose when you turn up for work.

I'd put bets on you being back here in a few weeks complaining about your new job and your "unreasonable" employer....

Good luck OP, hope your new job suits you better and you start sleeping better soon

@TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross thank you!

Good luck op, I have a feeling you or your new employers will need it...

Congrats and good luck with the new job!