BBC preaches forgiveness for man who murders his partner.

[ArabellaScott]

What the fuck, BBC?!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cnv6ne1zqyro

We are told a story which could only have been recounted by a man who murdered his partner, which is accepted without question. And then preached at about forgiveness.

This mother can do and say what she wants, I wouldnt presume to censure her. But the BBC has effectively written an apologia for abuse, domestic violence, and murder.

Also note the article talks about grief but not one mention of rage. Its my over riding feeling. This poor girl was failed over and over.

The BBC might have mentioned the man was, by his own admission, abusive and controlling.

eu.theledger.com/story/news/state/2016/09/25/convicted-murderer-lives-regret-searches-for-redemption/25362939007/

"McBride acknowledges that he was physically and emotionally abusive. His thoughts of Ann are now a mix of fond memories and regrets.

"I was a lot more emotionally abusive than physically abusive," he said. "There were four instances of physical abuse, and it's funny, like, in the moment I never thought of myself as an abusive person, but looking back now, it's like, 'Yeah, I was,' "

What a sad story.
I don’t think it’s fair to say the BBC is preaching forgiveness though. I see this as an exploration of grief. This mother is navigating her grief and using forgiveness as a way of managing it. It seems incredible, but I think it’s tough to judge this response without walking in her shoes.
Undoubtedly a tragedy and a waste of a talented young woman’s life.

I don't have a problem with forgiveness, because it helps the person doing the forgiving. But I don't think that sentencing should be contingent on it in any way.

I'm not judging her response. I'm judging the BBc's unquestioning and unchallenging acceptance of the narrative.

Why no questioning of his account of the murder? Or counter to the view that forgiveness and a shorter, easier sentence is a good idea?

I mean do challenge me, it will help me to word the complaint as robustly as possible.

VAWG isnt just an unfortunate accident, it happens partly because society excuses it.

This is presented as a personal interest story but its purpose is about restorative justice and sentencing.

Its sentimental bullshit to sell the idea that men dont need to be jailed for MVAWG.

So in the three years they were together, he was both physically and emotionally abusive to Ann, sulked when she was praised for her own achievements and when his threat of suicide to force her to come under his will didn't have the desired effect, he shot her while she was kneeling on the floor.

And despite this, his sentence was reduced because her parents forgave him and he was allowed his own choice of prison. And these articles paint him as a thoughtful young man while reducing Ann into a footnote in her own story.

Wow.

Realistically this man was always going to be released because he committed the crime when he was so young.
Surely there’s an argument to be made that it is safer to release him after a programme of rehabilitation and contact with his victim’s family to help him understand the impact of his crime.
I think it’s an interesting article. Interesting to see where grief can take a family and how they can manage to move forward. Interesting too to consider a model for rehabilitation of an offender. I don’t agree that the crime or this man’s behaviour leading up to the crime are trivialised.

I blame the State of Florida. But the BBC was never going to run the story as 'state irrationally used religiosity of victim's parents to justify releasing killer early, possibly to terrorise more women', were they? That would be an opinion piece.

The facts are more or less all there, and readers can draw their own conclusions. Maybe complain that they missed out he had been previously abusive? But can the BBC just quote another news outlet about that?

There is no mention of the abuse, control, and coercion. The murder is presented as an argument that got out of hand, rather than the predictable escalation of a pattern of abuse.

Journlists are practically obliged to ask questions, seek counter views, and do research.

In response to: 'can the BBC just quote another news outlet about that?'

'Conor even moved in with the Grosmaires for three months after his own father kicked him out.'

Red flag. Why was he kicked out?

'Ann and Conor's relationship could be volatile'

'Volatile' is so often used to desctibe abusive relationships and imply that both parties are equally to blame.

'- they sometimes argued and even broke up,'

Anyone with informed knowledge of dv recognises this pattern.

As well as the threats of suicide if he didn't get what he wanted.

Classic tactics for a domestic abuser.

That poor lassie. She wasn't safe in her own house.

Good grief. Lovely outcomes for everyone then, how jolly nice.

Except the barely mentioned woman he intentionally killed after extensive abuse. I wonder if she'd feel so nice to be nice about it all?

'In spring 2010, Ann was recognised for her academic achievements at college. She was delighted, and planned a celebratory picnic with her boyfriend.

"Conor just wasn't as excited about it as Ann had hoped he would be," says Kate. '

He was jealous.

"So they started arguing.

"They were both 19. It was one of those things where they just couldn't stop - and they literally argued all night until they fell asleep."
The pair's argument continued into the next day.
At one point, Conor got his father's shotgun and said he was going to kill himself. '

Threat of suicide. Manipulation, coercion, abuse.

'Ann replied that if Connor didn't want to live then she didn't either.'

This is Connor's report, one can only assume.

"And he pointed the gun at her and said, 'Is this what you want?'" Kate explains.
"And she actually said, 'No, I don't'."
But Conor was exhausted from arguing and wanted it all to be over,'

We hear only his point of view. Ann is voiceless. Are we supposed to feel for his 'exhaustion'? He wanted it to be over? Poor him!

What was she feeling? How scared was she? Did she perhaps want it to be over?

'"so he pulled the trigger," Kate says.'

Rest in peace, Ann.

'It was one of those things where they just couldn't stop'

They could stop. He could stop. He didnt have to abuse her, control her, coerce her. He didnt have to kill her.

Thanks to this restorative justice pish, he will be out by the time he's forty.

Let's hope this manipulative, abusive, violent, lying murderer is genuine when he says he's changed, eh?

He's already thinking about how he'll explain his history to future prospective partners.

"The Grosmaires have mentioned getting married and starting a family. There's a thought there, but it's kind of awkward. How would you explain that, you know, 'So what happened to your last girlfriend?' Well. " his voice trails off.'

Awkward? Awkward?! Its one word for it

Is there some kind of scheme for helping reporters to understand how to report on dv?

Grace Dean (she/her) could really benefit from it.

'After a three year campaign of domestic violence, I shot and killed my defenseless teenage girlfriend while she was kneeling on the floor. Do you fancy a date with me? I'm a nice guy, honest!'

"Volatile' is so often used to desctibe abusive relationships and imply that both parties are equally to blame."

Absolutely this

I have found tge 'Level Up' campaign. Launched on the BBC. So they should know better.

https://welevelup.org/active-campaigns/media-guidelines-domestic-abuse/

These are helpful guidelines. Dean's article fails most of them.