Colleague has suggested I remove all pronouns from a report

[girlinabox]

I don't work for the NHS but this colleague does. I wrote a report about several clients we have been working with over many months. We have also been working with their carers/family. Colleague suggested that we haven't asked them how they identify so can't refer to them as he or she. So in the report we should just continually use their names. In our interaction with these clients there has never been any ambiguity, and carers/family have referred to them as he/she. I think this is utterly ridicolous. Other option is to make contact to ask their gender. Many have significant learning disabilities so this would not be straight forward.
Despite being gender critical I would have no problem with using preferred pronouns in the report if it was obvious to this was the client's preference but this is just daft. I respect this person but feel that this is such a waste of valuable time and energy. This stuff seems to encroach on my work more and more.

Wouldn't using actual names be a big GDPR breach?

Could you say pronouns are personal/private and not everybody has a gender identity and for those that do, they may not want/feel ready to share? Basically push the point that it's personal information for everybody so it's an overreach to ask, we don't ask for any other personal info in a group introduction

I’d stand my ground and state it’s a report which requires a standardised formal approach.

No, that’s absolutely fair enough. Not everyone is in a position to talk freely about these things - as Naomi C said, if you (one) do (does) talk freely, and you get dismissed because of it, you will have a strong case at an ET, but for most people, most of the time, having a job is a better position to be in than having a strong case for wrongful dismissal.

DrB I would be tempted to say pronouns, great, let's add our neurotype as well to extend our allyship intersectionally, then look expectantly at the person next to you.

Anecdotally, of my current intake, only about 1 in 6 gave their pronouns at the start of term meeting.

Okay this made me laugh. Thank you for that. It is a bit crazy but I know the faculty suggesting this are doing so with the best of intentions (and v little understanding) so want to say something clear but supportive.

The correct response is 'fuck that shit. Why create unnecessary work which will offend a whole bunch of people. I have better ways to spend my time'

Agree with Red. Who are these knobs who don’t have enough work of their own to do and want you to spend time making your report LESS comprehensible so clients with learning difficulties are even LESS able to participate.

Aaaarghhhh. I’m too old for this shit.

I’d stick with something like this. It’s not a natural thing to ask pronouns (even though some want it to be). We don’t do it in other areas of life, the restaurant, the shop, the dentist or at weddings or funerals etc, etc so why here? It may seem like a nice thing to do but the reality is it feels forced and awkward.

I have a relative who volunteers for the CAB - giving people who need to claim benefits advice over the phone. I had to listen to her son - almost 30 - quiz her earnestly to make sure that she asks every person she speaks to on the phone for their pronouns, and makes sure they understand why providing their pronouns is so important.

If all customers are invited to request they are addressed as 'Your Majesty', it will encourage some of them, who previously had never thought of such a thing,, either to try it out of curiosity, or else even to start wondering if they really are royal.The question itself implies they might be.

The more I think about this practice, the more arrogant and intrusive I’m realising it to be. Probably started from men glorying in controlling other’s speech, but now much more about the person perpetuating the practice feeling smugly inclusive in doing so. Its performance masquerading as kindness.

Asking people to declare their gender identity in front of a group is extremely intrusive and downright nosy. Plus, agree with @logiccalls that you introduce the question "am I?" to young adults when they might never have had that thought before. Wrong on so many fronts.

A lot of people really aren’t comfortable lying and would feel they have to be honest. Saying ‘just say this or that’ puts people who are intrinsically honest in a really difficult position.
It’s asking people to Out Themselves as gender variable, or gender critical, or fabricate some socially acceptable weasel words on the spot, and it’s a really bad way to open a group discussion.