Middle aged brothers suddenly finding a trans identity

[Transister]

So as not to derail another thread. And I can only comment on our families actual reaction to a middle aged man going down this route. I think he now has very little in common with himself as a teenager.
My brother - a 6ft hetro sexual decided he was a trans woman a couple of years ago. It was a massive shock because he had been very much a drinking, slightly homophobic, lots of sexist banter kind of bloke.
He has suffered from poorly managed mental health problems since teen years. A functioning alcoholic, I suspect but don't know for sure he may now be adding ketamine to his system along with various types of HRT bought from risky websites.

He is quite erratic with the shear amount of stuff he is medicating with so it's hard to truly grasp whether he is ill, poorly prescribed via the health service or suffering from whatever he has taken over the weekend.

@ilod hope you find this thread!

I agree with others saying you and your mother shouldn't have to tiptoe around your brother. But you also have to be careful. Such people can turn aggressive and the weird cocktail of legal and illegal drugs can be explosive. I would not blame you if you kept your distance.

One of my neighbours is a gruff Irish builder in his early 60s and came out at trans a few years back. I don't think it's a fefish. He's had a boob job and facial surgery and claims he 'always knew he was a woman'.

Sounds like a chat between friends?

If not, sounds like a drugged up mixed up family messy issues. Sorry for all

There's a long running thread on trans widows. My brother's long term relationship broke down and I hope his ex found it and took support from it.
It's different in some ways for family. The whole we're all he's got, blood ties, decades of contact.
When it all kicked off I was firm that this was not a journey I could help him with, it was his to undertake.
I'm a bit grey rock with him at this point. I hear the inappropriate statements, note them and ignore. He has attempted to pick fights and drive wedges between me and my mum along with our sister. It's not worked.
My sister was initially more receptive, rainbows, signposting resources but he's grown past that quickly and is now the expert and after a few 'obviously I know that' responses, she's backed off quite hurt and has her own busy life.
My mum has had the biggest shock and journey. She's aging and doesn't want the stress or distraction. She very much wants to be the matriarch, competition not welcome. She's actually begining to reject her parent cliches - always love them no matter what they do, family are everything, put your kids first. It was always just words but he was the golden boy and for a long time could do no wrong. His relationship failures were down to the women. Initially even the trans thing was blamed on his partner driving him to it. My mum has had the biggest mental journey.

Thank goodness for MN and for this thread.

I’ve lurked on the trans widows threads to try to make sense of my family dynamic but didn’t want to intrude on them. Having a trans sibling is its own thing entirely and so much of this is ringing true.

I’m still figuring out how to navigate my situation and haven’t got much wisdom to add, but as with so many tricky situations in my adult life, I’m grateful for the wise women who are a few steps ahead and generous enough to share their experience.

Thank you