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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Murder - attempted suicide Co. Fermanagh this morning.

71 replies

Stripeyanddotty · 23/07/2025 20:03

A woman in her 40s and 2 children shot dead. Man in hospital with gunshot wounds. Police not looking for anyone else.
It will never end.
Just devastating for their family.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
pontipinemum · 24/07/2025 13:17

I honestly don't even know what to say. I am angry, upset, pissed off, so so sad for Vanessa and her children.

Why wouldn't the f*x face just kill himself. What did his family do. I am assuming he is the father.

Potatoelephant · 24/07/2025 13:21

Heartbreaking.

The silence and hypocrisy of local men who a few months ago were rioting across NI over the alleged sexual assault and attempted rape of a teenage girl by members of the Roma community is not surprising. Racism dressed up as “concern for our women”

A local lady posted about it on FB and received death threats.

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1C2hCrijLb/?mibextid=wwXIfr

https://m.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/northern-ireland/the-42-females-who-have-been-killed-in-ni-in-the-last-eight-years/a653713022.html

One of the ladies on that list is from my small town.

RIP to the mummy and her children.

The 42 females who have been killed in NI in the last eight years

They are aged between 23 months and 83 years, from every part of Northern Ireland, linked only by one deeply disturbing trend.

https://m.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/northern-ireland/the-42-females-who-have-been-killed-in-ni-in-the-last-eight-years/a653713022.html

AInightingale · 24/07/2025 14:11

I've just read that one in six residents of Co Fermanagh is a firearm holder. One in six! I know it's a rural area but they couldn't possibly all be farmers. Don't understand this obsession of men with bloody guns. A man who isn't a land or livestock owner who spends his 'leisure' time blasting wildlife is an immediate red flag for me.

Brendahollowayreconsider · 24/07/2025 16:46

No protest's etc over this ..I wonder why?
And there bloody should be.

MarieDeGournay · 24/07/2025 18:35

A similar crime was a turning point in how they are reported in the Republic of Ireland. In August 2016, Alan Hawe killed his wife, Clodagh Coll, and three sons, Liam, Niall and Ryan.
Her family were outraged that all the media focus was on the murderer - who he was, what he might have been thinking, what might have 'explained' his actions.
It was also noticeable that a lot of focus was on the poor murdered boys, but not their mother.

So they started a campaign called 'Her name is Clodagh', and it has had the effect of making murders like this less about 'the poor man must have been under so much pressure' or 'who can understand what goes through the mind of men that makes them do terrible things like this' - I remember both of those things being said on the radio about another murderer, Martin McCarthy, who in 2013 drowned his own daughter and killed himself rather than let her mother have custody.

Local people said things like They were a lovely family and he was a hard working farmer and father, He was a hard working, industrious man who loved his family, No can say what happened – no one can judge.

Watching the coverage of the deaths of these most recent victims, the focus is definitely on Vanessa Whyte, Sara Rutledge and James Rutledge.
Clodagh Coll's legacyFlowers

AInightingale · 24/07/2025 19:06

Wasn't Clodagh Coll the case where the murderer was buried initially with the family he killed? And quite rightly removed. Imagine burying any other serial killer in the grave of their victims.

IwantToRetire · 24/07/2025 19:28

The death of a woman by a man who they know or are related to is always a terrible tragedy.

But family annihilators who want to erase the family they feel they should control is not the same as femicide.

And isn't always the husband / partner but can be a son.

Or in the terrible incident of the man who murdered 3 women of the Hunt family https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cy8pd7dn8v6o a rejected boyfriend

IwantToRetire · 24/07/2025 19:30

I think this is the report I was trying to find last night

‘When you know what they are capable of’:
Paramilitary-related Gendered Coercive Control
https://foylefamilyjusticecentre.org/app/uploads/2024/09/Full-Report_Para-Coer-Control_Swaine-FWA.pdf

https://foylefamilyjusticecentre.org/app/uploads/2024/09/Full-Report_Para-Coer-Control_Swaine-FWA.pdf

SkeletonBatsflyatnight · 24/07/2025 21:23

I've just read that one in six residents of Co Fermanagh is a firearm holder. One in six! I know it's a rural area but they couldn't possibly all be farmers. Don't understand this obsession of men with bloody guns. A man who isn't a land or livestock owner who spends his 'leisure' time blasting wildlife is an immediate red flag for me.

My Mil is from Fermanagh. It's beautiful and I love visiting but I don't think I could live there. The Police are armed as standard in NI and are allowed to carry off duty as I found out at a memorial event for dh's Grandfather who was killed in the Troubles. Ds was fascinated in-between eating ham sandwiches and applauding his great aunts playing in the accordion band. As far as I'm aware all dh's relatives who live in Fermanagh have guns for one reason or another and no, they're not all farmers.

pinkhousesarebest · 24/07/2025 21:42

My mum is from Fermanagh and all her family are farmers. Not one of them ever had a gun. Times most certainly must have changed.

DeafLeppard · 24/07/2025 21:51

AInightingale · 24/07/2025 14:11

I've just read that one in six residents of Co Fermanagh is a firearm holder. One in six! I know it's a rural area but they couldn't possibly all be farmers. Don't understand this obsession of men with bloody guns. A man who isn't a land or livestock owner who spends his 'leisure' time blasting wildlife is an immediate red flag for me.

Fermanagh is deeply rural. I’d be surprised there’s not more than 1 in 6 farmers. Source:family are farmers in Fermanagh.

powershowerforanhour · 24/07/2025 21:52

I started a thread on this yesterday, before I knew the identity of the victims, then scrapped it as I was being a bit speculative and angry about family annihilators. In work today I've heard a few times, "Oh what terrible mental illness must have been there for him to do that" so I got a bit short and said not necessarily, and cited Clodagh, Liam , Niall and Ryan; Claire and Charlotte Hart; Louise, Hannah and Carol Hunt. Of course some sort of paranoid delusional psychosis episode might be to blame....but it's not the only possibility.

I found out late last night that it was Vanessa. I knew her many years ago. She was a fabulous person. Bright, funny, tough, sensible, physically brave, full of energy and go, universally liked. I'm glad that it's her name and her children's names that will be remembered.

pinkhousesarebest · 24/07/2025 22:01

Bloody evil man. I also find it puzzling that he was not obliged to relinquish his gun, if as has been suggested, there was previous domestic violence.

EdithStourton · 24/07/2025 22:09

AInightingale · 24/07/2025 14:11

I've just read that one in six residents of Co Fermanagh is a firearm holder. One in six! I know it's a rural area but they couldn't possibly all be farmers. Don't understand this obsession of men with bloody guns. A man who isn't a land or livestock owner who spends his 'leisure' time blasting wildlife is an immediate red flag for me.

Quite a few women have shotgun licences...

If this man had a firearms licence, then the police were asleep on the job.

AInightingale · 24/07/2025 22:21

That's awful @powershowerforanhour. My condolences. No doubt the husband was a worthless piece of dirt deep down who was jealous of her achievements and popularity.

IwantToRetire · 25/07/2025 00:29

powershowerforanhour · 24/07/2025 21:52

I started a thread on this yesterday, before I knew the identity of the victims, then scrapped it as I was being a bit speculative and angry about family annihilators. In work today I've heard a few times, "Oh what terrible mental illness must have been there for him to do that" so I got a bit short and said not necessarily, and cited Clodagh, Liam , Niall and Ryan; Claire and Charlotte Hart; Louise, Hannah and Carol Hunt. Of course some sort of paranoid delusional psychosis episode might be to blame....but it's not the only possibility.

I found out late last night that it was Vanessa. I knew her many years ago. She was a fabulous person. Bright, funny, tough, sensible, physically brave, full of energy and go, universally liked. I'm glad that it's her name and her children's names that will be remembered.

Its terrible enough when you hear of events like this but dont know anyone.

But to find out the woman concerned was someone you have known must make it even more heart breaking.

So sorry for your loss.

And hope your memories of her are some comfort.

Flowers
Brefugee · 25/07/2025 08:34

IwantToRetire · 24/07/2025 19:28

The death of a woman by a man who they know or are related to is always a terrible tragedy.

But family annihilators who want to erase the family they feel they should control is not the same as femicide.

And isn't always the husband / partner but can be a son.

Or in the terrible incident of the man who murdered 3 women of the Hunt family https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cy8pd7dn8v6o a rejected boyfriend

killing women is always femicide especially if it is a part of this wave of family killings.

you sound as though you're trying to minimise this. Why is that?

IwantToRetire · 25/07/2025 14:45

Brefugee · 25/07/2025 08:34

killing women is always femicide especially if it is a part of this wave of family killings.

you sound as though you're trying to minimise this. Why is that?

Dont be so silly.

Obviously a woman being killed is femicide.

And unfortunately men will kill women for no reason whatsoever, or make up some sob story.

The point about recognising Family Annihilators as a different category is because it isn't just the death of a woman, but the killing of relatives, not always children, sometimes parents, and are usually planned.

Did you read the research from refuges in NI.

Also there are other papers about it.

And just as women are campaigning to have so called Honour Killings recognised as a particular crime, so are others re Family Annihilators.

Fionnmac · 25/07/2025 14:48

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn by MNHQ

Seagullsandsausagerolls · 25/07/2025 14:51

Awful and a eight month pregnant woman last month.

We've two women "in charge" of the assembly better off they start worrying about male violence than orange and green shite

pinkhousesarebest · 25/07/2025 15:58

Thankfully there are two women in charge. They couldn't do any worse than the previous lot, that's for sure.

MysteryNameChange · 25/07/2025 16:07

I've been fucking furious watching the press coverage and police statements.

'We don't want people to make assumptions'

Cheeky bastards, we know it was a male perpetrator of DA, but it's not being reported as that.

ErrolTheDragon · 25/07/2025 16:21

IwantToRetire · 25/07/2025 14:45

Dont be so silly.

Obviously a woman being killed is femicide.

And unfortunately men will kill women for no reason whatsoever, or make up some sob story.

The point about recognising Family Annihilators as a different category is because it isn't just the death of a woman, but the killing of relatives, not always children, sometimes parents, and are usually planned.

Did you read the research from refuges in NI.

Also there are other papers about it.

And just as women are campaigning to have so called Honour Killings recognised as a particular crime, so are others re Family Annihilators.

yes - it’s not minimising it, it’s recognising a type of particularly egregious crime. It is nearly always perpetrated by a man, and nearly always includes at least one femicide though theoretically could be a same sex partner and their children.