Pansexual Demigirl - What on earth.

[ArtfulUser]

I joined really just to use this board as I dont know who else to ask.

I have a just turned 11 year old niece. I see her a few times a year and talk on the phone. We were very close when she was younger but obviously she is growing up and friends etc become more important.

I noticed on her whatsapp stories she posted something saying she was a pansexual demigirl.

She has since created a whatsapp profile pic with the two flags from these behind her.

She's had whatsapp since she was 9 on her own phone which I think is a whole other level of inappropriate but thats not what I'm asking.

What on earth - she's only just 11 and only just finished primary school.

How has she got into this or know what her sexuality is at this age. Is this common among this age?

For the record Im gender critical and believe that there is biological sex along with an infinite number of personalities. I have never discussed these issues with her.

It's tricky because for many children, this is the latest way to belong to a group (whereas group identities used to based on music and you could tell what music a group listened to by looking at their fashion style, some children and young people now base their identity on made up gender nonsense) and a way of exploring growing up.

It's reassuring to hear so many examples of children growing out of this. I echo the advice of ignoring it when talking to your niece; having a good relationship with her and doing fun, age appropriate things together.

But a minority of girls do get sucked further in and end up doing irreversible harm to their bodies via drugs and surgery. Time to Think exposed what went wrong at the Tavistock and highlighted the exponential growth in the number of teenage girls being referred to the clinic.

I would keep an eye on your niece and watch out for signs of her getting absorbed into the gender cult, especially as she has unfettered access to social media.

I remember seeing one detransitioner on Youtube who had hundreds of comments on the video on the lines of "I thought I was trans for a year but luckily never told anyone."

It probably is embarrasment in many cases but also deciding you yourself are not trans neednt mean you think the whole idea of gender identity and transness is wrong. We need to he wary of seeing detrans and desistance as a gotcha in the way TRAs see DSDs.

Eleven is the age where this stuff ramps up fast.

About 5 or 6 years ago I was woking in a library in a largish village. For Pride month they put out a basket of buttons with the colours of all the differernt sexuality and gender flags, plus they had a big chart so you could see what they mean.

I don't think one boy looked at it, but the 11 year old girls were all over it, picking up "Their buttons."

Not one of them was heterosexual. They were all pansexual, or asexual, or a few who said they were lesbians. Quite a few said they were non-binary though they appeared to be normal 11 year old girls with long hair and girly clothes and jewellery and all the rest.

They had of course been indoctrinated with all of it at school, and many belonged to the school club for LGBTQI+ kids. But most weren't seriously interested in sexual matters yet and I suspect many were intimidated about it.

As far as the "pansexual" thing, it mainly seemed motivated by the idea that it was inclusive, whereas hetero or homosexuality was seen as discriminatory. Cause that's where these little kids were when thinking about the sexual stuff they'd been taught.

That’s true - some detransitioners become actively opposed to gender ideology, but among younger girls who never went very far with it, they’re less likely to go full GC. However I do see a general willingness to question the dogma and an understanding of things like why males in women’s sports is unfair. I do hear them discussing it and there’s a range of positions from “be kind” to “but you can’t actually change sex though”. My DD and her friends have male friends and some have boyfriends, and they are acutely aware of when someone is male and behave differently around them from when it’s girls only.

I’ve also been told by my older DC that the “gender crowd” are seen as a bit sad and deluded and it’s not fashionable any more. Which is a bit heartbreaking really as we know these are very often kids with autism, trauma or who are actually gay and felt left out and in search of cool points/social cachet to start with.

So it is done in a way that does not appeal to boys?

And heterosexuality is the boring option?

This creates an open goal for the likes of Andrew Tate

I would consider talking to her about taking her time, not to worry if she feels differently, that what interests us changes over time and not to rush to commit to an identity.

I wanted to be a nun as a teenager. 😁

That's what I said to my DD (not the nun part!) - "that's fine, but you're very young and people change so don't commit yourself to anything just yet".

I'm not convinced that there is a way of interesting boys in all this stuff until it happens to them, and it happens to them later than girls. Even boys who want to wear frocks don't worry so much about "am I demi-boy" or whatever they just want to wear a frock.

Girls are the talkers and self-labellers. In fact most of these labels were invented by teenage girls on Tumblr. I think it's highly creative and analytic (if completely bonkers)

PS I am not just making it up about teenage girls and Tumblr, there was a presentation to LGBA by a couple of researchers about the history and origin of all these labels. Sorry I don't have the link any more, I saw a recording on Youtube a couple of years ago

So true, most of the "identity" folk at DD's school were girls. There was a boy who liked to wear makeup and was generally quite glittery and fabulous, but I don't think he was trans-identifying.

No, boys don't seem keen. It may just be they are even less interested in sex and being grown up at that age.

It's interesting, many of these girls were kind of popular, socially active girls. It was a cool group thing.

But the same type of boys, a few years on, are looking to rebel from the things they are being told in school by the authorities, and a lot of them seem to then reject all of the mainstream LGBTQ+ narratives.