How to challenge TRA at work during Pride Month?

[PerformativeBewilderment]

The organization where I work is celebrating Pride Month, and the messaging is very heavily focused on how dreadful things are for LGBTQI+ individuals right now. We have been encouraged to add pronouns to email signatures, and generally ‘offer support’ in the face of ‘recent setbacks’. At our upcoming company-wide social event, there will be an informal fundraiser with donations going to a trans charity.

This was announced on an all-company Teams call by our internal LGBTQI+ committee, so is obviously supported at the top. Our leaders are very inclusive - we have sessions on disability, ND at work, etc - but I suspect asking them to tone this down will not land well. It also means that the ‘why are we only highlighting this PC and not any of the other PCs’ argument doesn’t fit.

My question is how to gently push back on this as a GC / terf while still supporting gay rights generally. I’ve looked at Sex Matters but their resources seem to be more for serious cases of harassment, which I don’t think fits.

I’m bi and have had relationships with men and women, so I’m not at all homophobic. I can’t figure out how and even whether to say something - any ideas of how / what to say?

edited for spelling

Hmm i think it depends how much you want to reveal of your own circumstances and beliefs. If you want to make the point that it's not necessarily as inclusive as they think then how about 'as a member of the LGBTQ community I'm not totally comfortable with some of these initiatives, I'll support as and when I feel it is appropriate for me.' Then deflect all questions with an 'i feel that is intrusive and outing so I'm not going to answer that'.

Honestly, I wouldn't except perhaps anonymously. If they're that captured you'll only end up with a marked card.

There was an episode of This Isn’t Working podcast recently, I think it was the one with KJK on, and the discussion between the host Tanya de Greenwald (?) and her guest covered a lot of good reasons for organisations to pull back from pushing the T element above all else.

Reasons included, colleagues may be trans widows or children of transitioners for whom the experience has been traumatic. They may be parents of children / young adults who are in the thick of it and needing support. Detransitioning colleagues too.

It was a good podcast - the crux being that organisations should be looking out for all employees, not just the sacred ones.

This was announced on an all-company Teams call by our internal LGBTQI+ committee, so is obviously supported at the top. Our leaders are very inclusive - we have sessions on disability, ND at work, etc - but I suspect asking them to tone this down will not land well.

Why do you need to?

How much chance is there of skipping the upcoming company-wide social event? Or don’t you want to do that?

It’s really difficult to know what to do. I’m civil service, which is also completely captured. I mostly just avoid the issue and have never found myself in a position where I had no choice but to address it locally (though I pointed out that gender wasn’t a protected characteristic on my corporate induction day).

There’s encouragement here to join in various Pride events and a fundraiser for Stonewall, which raised an eyebrow, though I suspect the local events organiser (not LGBT so far as I know) has just copy pasted from previous years’ expectations and isn’t remotely aware of the controversy around the whole thing.

I’m ignoring it until put in a situation where I can’t. That will only happen if I am directly challenged somehow. At that point, I will explain my opposition the best I can, probably by explaining that it’s obvious from the Supreme Court ruling that there is a clash of rights and that I don’t feel I can give unqualified support to what is being requested as “trans rights” at the moment as that clash means it’s complicated without a lot of negotiation, which hasn’t really happened yet.

That said, if you are in a position where you actively want to push back more (I’m chronically sick and my line manager has pronouns in his e-mail signature, hence my silence) then @SnoopDougyDoug s approach seems reasonable.

I think there's a line between standing your ground and challenging others; standing your ground seems more appropriate in the workplace. If it helps, think of it as holding space for yourself, and giving others the example so they feel less afraid to do the same thing.

Your first priority must be to protect yourself career wise. I suppose it really depends whether you're surrounded by dramatic anti women hyperbole that's inappropriate for the workplace or just colleagues being a bit earnest / tone deaf about all this.

I'd play the long game. Note the eye rolling colleagues or the muttered ffs for future reference. And take note of anything that attempts to make the workplace a hostile environment for women, lesbians, those critical of unhinged transactivism etc. A lot of people are unaware of what a once respected event has now morphed into with misogyny, lesbophobia & anti safeguarding children being current themes. So any challenge needs to be rooted in evidence otherwise may come across as homophobia?

If that's what management have decided to focus on, their decision. As long as staff aren't compelled to take part, donate etc. Pick your battles and all that. The pointless virtue signalling of the holy month of pride is very tedious but soon it will be over and organisations can return to valuing those in society who really do need support,

You don't think characterising the confirmation that female people exist in law and have sex based rights as "recent setbacks" is at all problematic?

"We have been encouraged to add pronouns to email signatures, and generally ‘offer support’ in the face of ‘recent setbacks’. "

I would point out (not that I'm suggesting you do), that the SC ruling was actually a ruling in favor of lesbian claimants against the Scottish government. By implying that the ruling is a setback, they're in real sense being homophobic. The very best that could be said is that they are taking sides on a battle within the LGBTQ+. That strikes me as being offensively presumptuous.

Can you not just ignore them?

If they are only encouraging you to add pronouns not insisting and you aren't being forced to give to the fundraiser do you have to do anything? If other people want to join in/do those things that's up to them isn't it?

Just keep a low profile and ignore on the grounds you are a private person. If pushed just say you not comfortable discussing yours, or other people's, sexuality or gender preferences in a workplace environment. You have opted to support your chosen causes privately & wish them all the best.

I've ignored it all at work this year, I've not responded to any LGBTQIA+ meetings or requests, I put them straight in the bin - I feel so much better!

I haven’t made assumptions about what the email was referring to. And I don’t see why the OP feels she needs to step in and demand this be “toned down”.

Exactly.

I don't really see what else "recent events" could be referring to.

Would it be acceptable for a racist to ask for their company to tone things down in black history month?

If you care that strongly about it, stand behind your convictions and raise it

My organisation is very involved with Pride month - we have stands, badges, cake competitions, 'refresher' training, blog posts etc. But the vast majority of blog posts don't get read, the majority of staff sit through the training without really engaging, the unsold badges get put away until next year but on the positive side, we've all had alot of cake.

What an odd post. Surely you are not thinking to equate a woman's awareness of the reality of sex and its importance to the life experiences of women - to racism?

Oh, wait...

Perhaps the election of a president in the free world’s biggest superpower who has made it his mission to permanently damage DEI measures?

More like: would it be acceptable for an employee with anti-racist convictions to ask their company not to promote racist material for Black History Month?

Seems unlikely, assuming the OP is based in the UK.

And for what it's worth, even if that is what it is referring to, I think Americans should keep their noses out of UK politics and Brits should keep their noses out of US politics.

Yeah, you’re probably right. We don’t need to give a toss about what’s going on in the rest of the world. Who cares who’s in charge of the country that’s supposed to be our greatest ally?

More like an Indian person refusing to partake in Black History month because she doesn't like Black People, but she's not racist because she's not white.

That is actually a better analogy

It would be nice if, for once, instead of talking about 'recent setbacks', the positives were mentioned. For example, 'We are pleased that the right for Lesbians and for Gay men to meet in same-sex gatherings has been clarified and that Transmen will continue to have maternity protectons due to the recent clarification of the EA2010'.