"Once you see it, you realise that all the "meet half way, got to be a middle ground, reasonable people compromise" is still based on the sexist idea that some men are so unmanly, whether by surgery and choice or personality and bearing, they really are more woman than man. And that is so so SO disrespectful to women."
and this part in particular:
"the sexist idea that some men are so unmanly, whether by surgery and choice or personality and bearing, they really are more woman than man"
The repeated claim that if men have somehow worked hard enough or suffered hard enough that some people in society believe they have somehow EARNED being considered 'female' is still reductive. No matter how you try to point it out though, those with that 'kindness installed reductiveness' cannot see it. Because their need to be considered the morally superior person they wish to be blocks seeing the logic.
That is not even considering just how cruel it is to another human being to allow them to think that going through brutal surgeries has a reward at the end of being finally considered modified enough that some women will accept them for being 'women enough'. It is the very epitome of cruelty but somehow those who take the view that this is a moderate position cannot see it.
I think it is because they dismiss the surgeries etc as respecting those people's autonomy without looking further to understanding that underneath those decisions is the coercive belief that this reward will be open to them. They only look at part of that decision rather than looking holistically at the decision with all the information taken on board, all the signals from society and messaging that is now flying freely on media, and from these groups who are supposed to be supporting this group.
It is worse though. Because in the mind of the person who seems to accept that with enough brutal surgery a man can be a woman, on one hand they identify those male people as 'vulnerable and marginalised' after the surgery. While their breezy 'live and let live' or 'it is their body / their choice' compartmentalisation has failed to understand that those male people were vulnerable to being heavily influenced to decide on the surgery in the first place. Therefore, before they had the surgery and those people don't seem to be interested at all in protecting those male people at that time.
So looking at those who make those declarations about male people who have had surgeries, they seem rather hypocritical because they only seem to start being 'kind' after the surgery and not before.