Is it compulsory for shops to provide single sex changing rooms?

[HuskyNew]

This is not a trans post.

Today at Next the changing rooms positioned next to the Women’s & children’s departments had 2 grown men plus a couple of early teens boys in it.

There is another changing room upstairs by the men’s department.

I did look for a sign but there wasn’t any - simple said “changing room” , not women’s changing room.

the cubicles inside were just separated by curtains, not solid lockable doors. I felt uncomfortable changing with men literally outside. One of them wasn’t even changing himself, just stood outside my curtain chatting to his wife & child while they changed.

it is worth emailing Next? Or is this just what we’re all supposed to accept these days.

I take two sizes if I don’t know my size. I get dressed and go back if I want to try something else.

Just order online and try on at home if you're scared of changing rooms?

I won't use shop changing rooms at all for this reason particularly seeing the incidents of filming plus also finding out what perverted men do I changing rooms. I buy online and send back and for bras I go to a tiny boutique where I know the lady who fits is a woman and she fits by appointment so you are the only one in the shop. There are still these shops that exist and I'd recommend the real service and difference a proper fitting makes. The bras are the most expensive I've bought but have outlasted every other bra I have

I live in a big city and there are shops with mixed-sex fitting rooms - Bershka, for example. I hadn't realised, and was totally shocked the first time I saw a bloke in the fitting room. He was young, in his early 20's I guess, just bloody stood there waiting for his girlfriend who was trying on clothes. Me and my teen DD were on a shopping trip together. Made me feel sick knowing blokes can loiter right next to the flimsy curtain (which just about reaches across).

A bit tangential but a little ladies’ boutique in my nearest small town is frequented by older women (like me) who irritatingly often (to me) bring their husbands in with them. The husbands hang about getting in the way generally or sitting for ages on the chairs placed by the fitting “rooms”, which are tiny curtained off areas, gawping at other customers going in and out.
Now, if I see any of these annoying spouses in there, I brightly announce that I may come back when it’s less crowded, glaring significantly at the husbands.
Maybe I’m unkind, even sexist, but I do feel that they should be sent to the pub or hardware store instead. Perhaps their wives appreciate their advice or want their approval of the outfits they intend to buy, but I have never once heard them utter anything that would be useful in that way.

I've worked in places with single sex changing rooms a lot of people with the opposite sex partner/children just wanted to go in as well to help them decide/give an opinion.
I'm sure their intentions were fine it's just they gave no thought to the other people who were changing.
A few years ago there was a case where in a local ish swimming pool a man used to perve on young girls by using his goggles in such a way on the floor in order to see into the next cubicle.

I didn't say that. Depends on the space, so shower would be locked cubicle obviously, but changing room in asda? Curtain. So a mix depending on the need.

If I want someone’s opinion of what I’m trying on, I leave the changing cubicle and just pop out to where they can see me, I don’t take them in with me.

Was pleasantly surprised yesterday at Zara, a man was hovering around the entrance (peering into) to the changing rooms waiting for his wife and he was told to move away as it’s a woman and children only area for privacy.

I go alone when I am shopping for clothes. I take two sizes when I go into the changing rooms. If they don’t fit or I want to try more styles, I get dressed and go look for them or on the rare occasion, ask a shop assistant to help me.

When my teen son was buying a suit for prom, I stayed outside and he came out to show me how it fit. In fact, a few schools were having their prom on the same night and Next was overrun with boys and their parents, mostly mums. We all stayed outside.

Those flimsy curtains in shop changing rooms are awful. I don't even like it if there's just women in there. Don't really want to be seen getting undressed by anyone. Probably why I buy most things online 😁

If people complain they will probably just remove the changing rooms altogether as they have in my local dress shop

I do take two or three sizes of two or three base cuts, but it quickly adds up.

You don't have a limitation about how many pieces you can take inside the fitting room? We do.

Yeah, I suppose it is doable your way, but I am glad that I don't have to. I hate clothes shopping (and not many things fits me even in the best possible size), so having my own personal assistant (and playing one in return) makes it easier for me.

I suppose safety can be achieved in different ways, either making the place strictly single sex, or by making it very busy.

Male in women's changing rooms is a known problem. Why do we have to keep re-hashing this?

You can take all the clothes you want to the fitting room and then take in only the permitted number. Then switch over half way. If you need another size they can get it for you.

My 13yo DD is at a difficult stage with her body and she is super sensitive about privacy. (Thankfully she hasn't ever been sexually assaulted as i had been by that age so that isn't part of the problem but it will be for some). She was upset to find men in the changing rooms where she was buying jeans on her own last week. The curtains wouldn't shut firm across the opening and she was really really upset about it when she got home. It just made me think that it is yet another reason for women and girls to self exclude and have to stay at home. Maybe internet shopping is not exactly a hardship but if that is what we have to do, then how on earth am I supposed to teach her any independence?

Most shops don’t seem to have anyone by the changing rooms so usually I take as many as I want. If there is an assistant there, I give them the excess to keep and swap.

I can see why you like doing it your way, it’s convenient. But can you see why others might not like your DP or others’ male DPs in there? Your DP may be, but not all DPs are benign and focused on their own partners. And making it busy doesn’t necessarily make it safer - it likely stops women from saying anything.

I had this in a women’s lingerie shop recently. Changing rooms were ‘mixed’ (but it’s a women’s shop!), flimsy curtains instead of doors.
A man was sitting on the bench directly outside the curtain, looking at his phone, while waiting for his partner who was trying something on.

I told the shop assistant I wasn’t comfortable changing with the man there, and she made me feel like I was insane for even asking about it. He was ‘just waiting for his partner’ and not causing any trouble.

I left the products on the rack, walked out, and I’ve never been back. I was about to spend a large amount of money, as I was treating myself after having my third baby. Their loss. I will never shop at a place that doesn’t value my safety and dignity.

Unless people make it clear, they won't know. Think of all the transwomen who say "there wasn't a problem". For those of us who feel this way, I think we all have to be prepared to hand the items to the assistant and say "let the manager know I wasn't happy about the male in the changing area - I have a budget of £x but I'll be spending that somewhere else now sorry". It can be done nicely and it is entirely up to the shop to decide.

My partner never comes clothes shopping with me and I never go with him.

It's not that long since clothes shops had staffed changing rooms, and in some shops (including Next and M&S) you could ring a buzzer or call out and they'd fetch you a different size. Those days are long gone, so I take a couple of sizes in with me and if that fails I get dressed and go and fetch more.

I understand that some women feel strongly against the male presence in the whole fitting area. If we would ever happen to be clothes shopping in the UK, we would absolutely respect the signage, the same way we do everywhere abroad.

I won't change my behaviour in my home country, it would be pointless, everyone does it here - helping, commenting, waiting, herding children- and we have signs restricting number of pieces, not signs restricting sex of people in the area.

It makes me curious how big proportion of people here feels the same way but have absolutely no voice, I might ask in some local forum, just out of curiosity.
In general I feel it is just slightly different culture and we don't see it as a topic, but I might be surprised.

Thanks for the replies, it was bugging me for a long time. It seems to be a thing on MN/in the UK and while I agree with majority of the FWIW positions, this one is strange for me.

So the people saying, "Ah well, in my country changing areas are mixed and nobody cares," do the men there not behave like men here? Or has no-one actually collected stats on this? (See my link from 20:59 yesterday)

@fiveIsNewOne i wonder if this is a function of space. The UK is a small densely packed island. Our standard shopping trolleys are half the size of the Costco “carts” etc. It might not be a fair comparison

I'd be in contact with Next. If I can't try clothes on in a women only space then I won't be buying clothes there.

Good for you, sticking up for yourself. I will try to do this in future.

@DuesToTheDirt
Good question. I don't have a good answer yet.

Do you have men actively creeping at mixed sex fitting rooms in the UK, or is this worry/discomfort induced by issues happening elsewhere?
When I saw your link I was confused, I've always supposed it was about places where you change completely like at the swimming pool, not about fitting rooms when most of the time people have underwear on (I know, trying on a bra is an exception).

I genuinely believe* we don't have issues at mixed sex fitting room areas.
It seems we have slightly shifted concepts about undressing, so maybe we don't translate existing similar problems like creeps trying to record on women's toilets (single sex, but ...) into concerns about the fitting rooms, because we don't see them as that similar.

*and my search on local news seems to confirm (it's hard to prove absence, but I found reports of other types of crimes around fitting areas and other places where creeps were active)

I like this one.

We have half the population density of the UK. Both country to country and capital city to capital city.
And of course we feel overcrowded :)

In the same time we probably have more open plan (single sex) changing rooms at swimming pools and less changing islands with those "single" booths, so we see bigger differences between those two situations.

Thanks!