Email Pronouns - Any Guides

[MittensForKittens123]

Im one of the more senior women in my workplace, we had a women’s forum last week, that I was unable to make due to a meeting clash. I got some feedback from it yesterday, and it included a newer member of staff asking for pronouns to be included on emails.

I suspect most of my female colleagues are the ‘be nice’ type, so I could really do with some advice on resources that point out why this is a bad idea for women.

Any help greatly appreciated.

There is a lot of evidence that men and women are treated differently in the workplace,. including over email. The women's forum should already know this, but if you can find it there's a great article by a man who accidentally used his female colleague's email account to reply to a client - and was so shocked by the difference in response that the two swapped email identities for a week to see if it was consistent. It was. 'She' got a lot more pushback, challenges and questions than 'he' did; 'his' expertise was accepted without question. As well as being annoying, this meant it took around twice as long to deal with each query or interaction, making the business much less efficient.

And there is evidence that this difference in response is enhanced if people are prompted to think about the sexnof theperson they're dealing with - either by pronouns on emails or by starting a meeting with pronoun sharing.

And because human brains are deeply unhelpful, this change doesn't just affect how other people react to women - it also alters how women react to themselves. If you remind a group of women or girls of their sex, they will perform worse on tasks that women are stereotypically thought to be worse at. (The reverse is not seen in men.)

Another poster posted this a couple of years ago and I saved it as I thought it was clear and to the point -

'This is what I sent to our diversity manager when asked to declare my pronouns.

1.I have experienced a great degree of sexism at work. Bringing attention to my sex increases the likelihood of my being treated differently as a woman as this experiment demonstrates: www.independent.co.uk/news/business/news/gender-inequality-man-woman-switch-names-week-martin-schneider-nicky-knacks-pay-gap-a7622201.html
2.Singling out a woman’s female status can result in ‘stereotype threat’. hbr.org/2016/08/why-women-feel-more-stress-at-work
3.I hold ‘gender critical’ beliefs, which are protected under the Equality Act and recently confirmed in www.gov.uk/employment-appeal-tribunal-decisions/maya-forstater-v-cgd-europe-and-others-ukeat-slash-0105-slash-20-slash-joj

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/what-happened-when-a-man-signed-work-emails-using-a-female-name-for-a-week_n_58c2ce53e4b054a0ea6a4066

What about support for Sandie Peggy? This highlights the problem - it stops women being able to speak.

The problem with 'in support" is it's forcing others to do something and the default that if you don't is that you are labelled 'unsupportive'.

It is therefore a political request. If others wish to do it then it should be off their own back, now with insidious soft power plays to force compliance and capitulation.

Keep your religious and political views at home.

Hmm. Apparently multiple posts in a row gets you thrown in the cooler. As well as doing weird things to spacing.

Here's the rest.

For example, if the invigilator begins a maths exam by saying 'OK girls, you may turn over your papers and begin.' the girls will get lower marks than if the invigilator says 'OK everyone, you may turn over your papers and begin.'

I know this one! If you ask girls to disclose their sex (e.g. on the front of the exam paper or in a diversity monitoring form) before they sit a maths exam, they do worse than if they disclose their sex after the exam. Paper: onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1559-1816.2008.00362.x

I don't see why anyone should have to declare support for other people in their work emails. It wouldn't be appropriate for staff to put at the end of an email, "I stand with Palestine," or "I support Labour," or even something less controversial like, "Let's all join the fight against cancer." Some people will agree with them, some will disagree, and no one should be forced to declare an opinion, especially in a professional environment.

The blatant sexism is why girls were taught to submit papers and CVs using just their first initial in the early 00s. Some universities still practice submissions that don't identify students sex, using only their ID numbers.

My first name is frequently mistaken for a male name. There is a difference via email when professional male contacts think I'm a man compared to a woman, especially in a male dominated industry.

No pronouns is more supportive of women.

My twitter name could be either male or female and I have had some interesting exchanges with men who assumed I was a man and then changed tack when they realised I was a woman. It's a real issue and imo best not to advertise pronouns.

They put their name on the signature so they’re also asking them to use their name.

Names are individual - that's standard English usage. Pronouns are not - any more than adjectives, verbs, or nouns other than personal names.

What you said was that you are happy for people to use whatever pronouns they want. What I and several others are pointing out, staying preferred pronouns is not about using whatever pronouns you want. It's exactly the opposite - it's insisting that people don't use the pronouns they want to.

If someone doesn't use the pronouns "I" and "me," it's only fair to warn everyone.

People can use whatever words they want for themselves.

There is no way on earth I could remember who wanted to use the wrong pronouns and who wanted to use the right ones. So I think it is best to just 'say what you see' and stop trying to force your brain to say wrong things. It really isn't healthy.

I know speakers of another language where he/she are not differentiated in normal speech (they can differentiate if necessary but generally don't). More than once I've heard them get 'he' and 'she' mixed up when talking about someone, and it's really jarring to me. It's not like getting verb endings wrong, or pronunciation, so I can only assume that he/she are a very basic part of language for me. I find it really difficult to use them incorrectly, and this leads me to avoid talking about people who use what I consider the "wrong" pronouns and being put in the position of having to use the "wrong" one, and having it fuck with my head, or the "right" one and offending people, some of whom I am close to.

"In support" ? In support of what, exactly?