Surrogate mother wins access to her biological son in landmark case - after gay couple said it was 'homophobic' for her to be involved in their 'motherless family' with 'no vacancy' for a woman

[lechiffre55]

Surrogate mother wins access to her biological son in landmark case - after gay couple said it was 'homophobic' for her to be involved in their 'motherless family' with 'no vacancy' for a woman
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13828699/Surrogate-mother-landmark-case-gay-couple.html

He's not. He's still with the fathers but the mother is allowed contact.

One of the ‘arguments’ they put forward in court was that the child was being raised in an ‘LGBTQ environment’ (I’m paraphrasing) so seeing his mother would confuse him. And so I wonder what their reaction will be should he turn out to be heterosexual, later in life.

Let’s hope that, by then, they’re a little more flexible and accommodating of lifestyles that differ from theirs (the irony is not lost on me).

I hate reading about surrogacy. I feel so sorry for that poor, little baby.

This is absolutely ridiculous. The child is presumably going to mix with non LGBT people throughout his life. They can't keep him away from heterosexual people permanently.

These people are demonstrating their total lack of suitability to be parents but then I guess the customer is always right 😡

(I know) my fingers slipped mid typing the second part of my message followed that.

It's a real win

This is the original article by Julie Bindel.

thecritic.co.uk/the-love-that-cant-be-erased/

'motherless'. Bloody hell.

Reinforces my view that all surrogacy should be banned. Good job she had got a court order for access rights in the first place and not relied on the couple doing the decent thing

Hope the purchasers can explain to the product (Z) why they bought him and paid for the use of his mother's body and his growth, like the forcing of a cultivated plant bulb with an end result of refusing ANY relationship with his mother. Ban surrogacy now, it's disgusting and no matter how well intentioned, will always damage the baby at birth. Kittens are afforded more care.

So pleased to see this judgement. As a pp said, there will now be a huge push to get the law changed to allow men to “own” the child from conception.

And with no problem being as downright misogynistic as those two men are.

The existing law has been upheld, as it should be.

There's already significant push for the law to be amended to lessen the rights of the women:

https://stopsurrogacynowuk.org/

This is what happens when surrogacy laws are laxer (spoiler alert, it doesn't benefit the women or children):
https://www.legalizesurrogacywhynot.com/stories edited to add link

The poor child must be so confused.

Why would a woman who was not even their friend agree to this!?

One of the ‘arguments’ they put forward in court was that the child was being raised in an ‘LGBTQ environment’ (I’m paraphrasing) so seeing his mother would confuse him

Did it not occur to them that the child was going to learn at some point that every single person on this planet comes from a woman, their mother? Would it not be confusing for the child to grow up believing the lie that a person can be 'motherless' but then later finding out that that's impossible?

'The men had difficulties “accepting the reality” of the child’s conception, the psychologist found, and considering what sense the boy might make of the situation as he grew up'.

Happy to use a woman's body to get what they wanted, but struggled with accepting the reality as soon as she was of no use to them anymore

Glad they lost, their attitude is hideous.

She is the child’s MOTHER
I abhor surrogacy and especially men buying children.

This is the real life “Handmaid’s Tale” 😬

Good heavens, in the US this was effectively decided in the 1980s. (It's called the Baby M case. Didn't involve a gay couple but was about the rights of the biological mother.)

It's why American surrogacy is all gestational. The states that legally recognise surrogacy are all based on that. It's not illegal to do traditional surrogacy, but no agency will touch it. Do it at your peril.

False claims of homophobia aside, the couple were a pair of idiots. This is precisely why you don't do this sort of informal arrangement. They wanted to save money and it blew up in their faces.

What revolting men. They sound fucked-up and ill-suited to raise this child 😔 They had difficulty accepting the reality of the conception? Felt that seeing his mother would confuse the child? Were they hoping they could convince the child he had been born of two men?! Absolutely rank misogyny.

Meant to add- feels like they are mad with the jealousy of not being able to bring life into the world themselves- they hate women for it. They need psychiatric treatment, not a child to raise.

Whatever her motivation going into this, the fact that she handed over the baby she had carried and nurtured with her body for 9 months after 7 hours is heartbreaking for both mother and baby. No wonder she was struggling with her feelings. Not that any man, especially those as entitled and self-centred as these two could begin to understand that. Surrogacy needs to be banned.

she attempted to force contact at the most devastating time for our family with no apparent regard or insight into our feelings

Oh the irony.

The court psychiatrist pointed out that people need to know where they come from and that the child would ask questions.

Being told he was from a 2-father family wasn’t an answer.

The shrink also said that the fathers’ ‘fixed and rigid thinking’ wasn’t in the best interests of the child. The fathers reacted with rage and exclusion at any perceived threat, repeatedly. The fathers didn’t consider the feelings of their son or his mother.

DFs accused the mother of being mentally ill (she isn’t) but the psych criticised the men’s behaviour for aggression and refusal
to consider the reality of their birth arrangements.

Psych said the child had a right to reality - ie to know his mother, who loves him.

Shame some men think no one, including their own child, has the right to reality when it comes to how humans, feelings, and biology work.

Yikes, the council ninnies. One of the reasons they lost so flamboyantly was that they only paid for lawyers for the baby buyers, not for the mother, so the judge had a go.

I do think the woman was a bit of an idiot. The 3 parents didn’t know each other that well. The couple made loads of promises about mother-son contact it became clear they weren’t going to keep before she’d given birth. She panicked, handed baby over and vanished. Then came back asking to see her son.

No one acted in a civilised way. The judgment makes them do that now.

Which council was it? They should be shamed, I’m guessing a man/handmaiden was in charge.

Right,because we wouldn't want anyone to be confused by biological reality would we?
Imagine finding out that neither of your 'fathers' gave birth to you.

The horror.