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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Help please

44 replies

Noplannow · 01/09/2024 11:58

Hi have a child (19y) who is autistic and trans. We have discussed the issues a lot over the years and I would say I am GC.
The child has asked me to change the spelling of their name to the one that is typical for the gender they would choose. I have gone along with this.
My partner has got very angry about this and said I am gaslighting them and feeding the trans delusion. I feel I am trying to walk an impossible tight rope.
my child is an adult and vulnerable and I need to keep communication open with them.
I think this may be the end for me and my partner. I am heart broken.

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LonginesPrime · 02/09/2024 17:28

Only you know your DC, OP, but IME with my own autistic DC of similar age, I find the more rigid the boundaries, the more they push against them (you seem to allude to similar with the suggesting hobbies comment).

So I would be doing the same as you and letting them gently explore things too, but I absolutely relate to your anxiety about what the future might hold for them and whether I should be taking a firmer stance as a parent, not least as they'll be in a brand new environment that could mean things go either way depending on who they meet and which social circles they fall in with.

As PPs have said, the key is keeping the lines of communication open with them. I think I'd want to reassure them that they are the same person to you regardless of how they identify, as there are a number of detransitioners nowadays who feel stuck as their parents have made such loud noise about celebrating their transness that they feel they're stuck in that image they've created for themselves now with no route back.

I think just treat it similar to a goth phase or anything else - experimentation with clothes, makeup, names, identity, etc is totally normal at that age and is a part of growing up, so as long as they aren't planning an making any rash irreversible decisions, then I would just go with the flow and focus on the other aspects of starting university and what will be an exciting new chapter for them in loads of other, non-gender-related ways too.

There's only so much control you can have over the situation at this point, so don't be too hard on yourself - you're doing a great job of being a supportive parent in an extremely challenging environment, so just go with your instincts and remember that you know your child and how to support them best.

Your partner sounds like an overbearing arse. It's absolutely none of his business how you parent your child, and the fact he's being so vocal about your parenting decisions would have me running for the hills from that relationship. As a first step, I would stop confiding in him on the issue, as you know he's not going to be supportive of you making your own decisions about your relationship with your own child, so no good can come of discussing it with him.

I wonder if you'd be quite as stressed out by this whole situation if you didn't also have him criticising you and suggesting you're doing a crap job as a parent. You and DC are at a point where the pressure really needs to be eased, yet your partner seems to be vying for the opposite.

ElleWoods15 · 02/09/2024 17:35

You sound like a lovely mum OP. I’m hope your DC has a successful move to uni, and that you’re feeling ok.

Just to be aware with Our Duty, that they do have a fixed view that young people who either have or are considering transitioning are subject to gender ideation, and can therefore be against affirming, and more in line with your DP’s views.

The views of your DP and organisations don’t mean you are wrong in the way you are choosing to handle your situation.

ArabellaScott · 02/09/2024 17:41

OP, I hope you are okay. It sounds like you're under a lot of pressure, here.

Please make sure you are looking after yourself and your own well being. Talking to people - on here, at Bayswater, or with friends/family are all helpful.

Sending you my best.

Noplannow · 02/09/2024 18:16

Had a good conversation with my child last night. We are getting along great, as we usually do I think. Unfortunately their father consistently points out the many ways I have ruined our children’s’ lives and I am just so broken about it.
I haven’t been able to speak to my partner yet.

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Noplannow · 02/09/2024 18:18

I don’t really have anyone to talk to. It is not something that I am any good at. I have a history of self harm and ptsd and am really struggling to hold things together.

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ElleWoods15 · 02/09/2024 18:43

I know GP services in this country aren’t great at present, but could you speak to your GP OP to ensure you are getting support for your own mental health? You’re dealing with an awful lot and as the pp has said do look after yourself.

Noplannow · 02/09/2024 18:59

i have contacted my therapist but I can’t see her for 3 weeks. I have an appointment for emdr on Friday but I am too scared to go now

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ArabellaScott · 02/09/2024 19:00

Emdr is very gentle, in my experience. What are you worried about, can I help?

ArabellaScott · 02/09/2024 19:02

Samaritans and MIND are always there if you can't wait to see your therapist.

Noplannow · 02/09/2024 19:44

ArabellaScott · 02/09/2024 19:00

Emdr is very gentle, in my experience. What are you worried about, can I help?

I have tried it before about 3 years ago and tbh it was horrific. I didn’t sleep for 3 straight nights. It was massively traumatising. This is a different therapist so hopefully it will be different but I am really scared and I am not sure I am strong enough for it at the moment

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Noplannow · 02/09/2024 21:45

Plan is to meet my partner tomorrow evening. Hopefully we will be able to talk this through

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ArabellaScott · 02/09/2024 21:45

I'm so sorry, that sounds very hard.

The therapist should listen to your concerns and be able to support you. Perhaps you could get in touch to explain how you're feeling?

Noplannow · 02/09/2024 21:52

The therapist knows I have had a previous bad experience and that I am scared.
my partner has always been really supportive of my treatment and in fact is the reason that I got help in the first place. Without his support I just am not brave enough. The plan was to spend the weekend after the emdr with him so I knew I wouldn’t get lost.
i know that probably sounds pathetic

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ArabellaScott · 02/09/2024 21:53

Of course not. It's one of the bravest things you can do, seeking help.

Noplannow · 02/09/2024 21:54

I am pleased that you found emdr helpful. I have heard good things and was really hopeful the first time round. I thought maybe I just wasn’t well enough at the time but this time felt better and more supported …..

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ArabellaScott · 02/09/2024 21:58

Sometimes it can take a few tries for something to work. And yes, having good support should help. I think it can often take a combination of different things, you just have to keep going and keep trying. One day at a time.

Noplannow · 02/09/2024 22:07

I don’t have the support though. That is why I think I might have to cancel. I am genuinely frightened. I can’t possibly lose the plot and look after my kids / work etc. it feels
like a huge risk now.
Didn’t you find the process triggering at all?
Did you have to picture traumatic things?

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FatFilledTrottyPuss · 04/09/2024 15:31

I’m so sorry you’re struggling so much. I have no experience of therapy or EMDR but I my mental health has been shocking this year, since my daughter decided she was trans. I’m not sure if it’s menopause related or the worry about my children. I’m now on HRT patches and fluoxetine which are helping somewhat.
I do feel like I'm hanging onto my sanity by a thread sometimes though. You’re not alone, other parents in our situation feel the same.

Noplannow · 04/09/2024 18:59

@FatFilledTrottyPuss sending you a hug.

It is so tricky to know what to do for the best. I have been doing a lot of reflection the last couple of days about it all.
my child told me something which really scared me a few weeks ago and I think I panicked and started to think I would have to go along with what they say to stop them from turning their back on me. Now I think that may have been the wrong choice.

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