Asking a school what their policy on gender questioning children is?

[CiaoBe]

Has anyone done this?

I know what it is in reality (affirm behind parents back, change name and pronouns without parental knowledge)

But after the cass report I'd like to ask them what it is in writing.

I'm considering making a complaint.

[LogicLoverLlama]

This proves to me I put the wrong title on my thread!

Everyone should be doing this, everyone, to get the conversation going.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5050647-cass-report-school-policies-write-to-your-childs-school-for-evidence-their-current-policies-and-practices-are-lawful-and-in-line-with-the-cass-report-links-starter-info

• here is a load of stuff to help you - please do it and everyone else too!

[CiaoBe]

Thankyou but I don't live anywhere near Brighton and I'm not sure if they use the toolkit.

[CiaoBe]

Just seen the eisna section about other areas but it seems a little heavy handed and threatening.

[MrsOvertonsWindow]

In addition the the thread already mentioned Safe Schools Alliance have lots of resources to help with talking to schools https://safeschoolsallianceuk.net/

Well done OP - we all need to be challenging schools:

[LogicLoverLlama]

@CiaoBe

Thankyou but I don't live anywhere near Brighton and I'm not sure if they use the toolkit.

Yes indeed - thats what you need to ask - it quite possible is based on the Brighton one and regardless the real question is

"Does it align with the Cass review and in light of the legal position - is it even legal?"

Your school will have one, it won't be aligned with Cass, it will be illegal under the legal opinion above. You should write to your school in whatever tone you prefer of course, but you really should write.

[Awumminnscotland]

Thanks for asking this. I'm in Scotland and have raised concerns with the primary school having gender ideology throughout their rshp curriculum and still recommending books that signpost to mermaids. I have emailed the head yesterday and a meeting is planned. I expect more of the same I've got previously ie: ' our hands are tied' because guidance says..

[CiaoBe]

I've emailed asking for the guidelines they were following when they socially transitioned my daughter behind me back.

Am feeling quite nervous as I basically laid everything out and told them they've damaged my daughter and it never should have happened.

[CiaoBe]

If they phone should I ignore and request all communication around this be in writing?

[SaltPorridge]

Not ignore, but thank them for calling and ask them to put everything in writing.
At my daughter's school they were selling cupcakes for a Brighton-based charity - and we are nowhere near Brighton either.
Is yours primary or secondary?

[CiaoBe]

@SaltPorridge

Not ignore, but thank them for calling and ask them to put everything in writing.
At my daughter's school they were selling cupcakes for a Brighton-based charity - and we are nowhere near Brighton either.
Is yours primary or secondary?

High school.

I've not asked about PSHE and other curriculum regarding it.

I did get a Mermaids link removed from the school website.

I'm going to ask about what they're teaching generally about it but just want to talk about my daughter first.

[LogicLoverLlama]

@CiaoBe

If they phone should I ignore and request all communication around this be in writing?

For me, always writing. Conversations are not worth the paper they are written on, as it were.

[WeMeetInFairIthilien]

You have made such an important step @CiaoBe

Well done!

[CiaoBe]

@WeMeetInFairIthilien

You have made such an important step @CiaoBe

Well done!

Thankyou. I sent the email this morning.

I'll update with any responses.

[badgeronthedrums]

I will be doing the same next year once my daughter has left (but for now we need them to write the UCAS references...)

[MrsOvertonsWindow]

Congratulations @CiaoBe.

Depending on their response (or maybe despite their response) you might want to do a subject access request (SAR) asking for her school records - just in case you / she ever wants to go down the legal route in challenging the school's behaviour?

Only the courts can remove parental rights - schools can't breach the law by transitioning children in secret from their parents and not expect consequences.

[EasternStandard]

@CiaoBe

I've emailed asking for the guidelines they were following when they socially transitioned my daughter behind me back.

Am feeling quite nervous as I basically laid everything out and told them they've damaged my daughter and it never should have happened.

Hope it goes well op, it sounds damaging

[Bluelagoonlover]

Yes, I've done it. I spoke to the head of safe guarding (last year) and I kept my views under wraps. I was reassured that trans kids in school were being supported with family involvement and that they would never keep this information a secret from family . I was also reassured about single sex spaces and sport being preserved.

[CiaoBe]

I have a meeting Monday.

I'll be back later as I think I need help in what I need to say.

I'm going to take notes in with me.

[CiaoBe]

In my email I asked twice for a copy of the policies or guidelines they'd been following, to be sent to me.

He replied with a meeting offer.

But didn't mention the policies.

Should I email back and say 'could you please send the policies over before the weekend so I have a chance to look at them before the meeting?'

I have a feeling they don't have anything in writing to follow.

Which is even more concerning isn't it?

That each teacher is just winging it?

Or they don't wnat to share it?

[badgeronthedrums]

Just keep asking.

And the best advice I was ever given when I was having difficult conversations with schools for other reasons is that you don't have to sort it all out in one meeting. The best thing to do - and particularly if they are not sending you stuff - is to go in and listen and say very little yourself. Don't even ask for anything. Just take notes and then say thank you, I will be considering what you have said and we can have another meeting when I have thought about it/consulted people/you have sent me the fucking paperwork.

[Leafstamp]

Bumping this thread as I think it's really important that parents know what their children are learning and that schools are held to account.

[LogicLoverLlama]

@CiaoBe

In my email I asked twice for a copy of the policies or guidelines they'd been following, to be sent to me.

He replied with a meeting offer.

But didn't mention the policies.

Should I email back and say 'could you please send the policies over before the weekend so I have a chance to look at them before the meeting?'

I have a feeling they don't have anything in writing to follow.

Which is even more concerning isn't it?

That each teacher is just winging it?

Or they don't wnat to share it?

It must BE written down - it must BE safe and useful and appraised so WHY won't they share it?

Don't even give them a moment to think this might die down. You need it in writing, you need to know if it has been reappraised in light of the Cass review, you need to know, as a concerned parent if the legal advice you have seen applies to the guidance and to your child.

[CiaoBe]

@LogicLoverLlama

It must BE written down - it must BE safe and useful and appraised so WHY won't they share it?

Don't even give them a moment to think this might die down. You need it in writing, you need to know if it has been reappraised in light of the Cass review, you need to know, as a concerned parent if the legal advice you have seen applies to the guidance and to your child.

I've emailed and said I want it emailed to me before Friday so I can read it over the weekend, before Mondays meeting.

[IcakethereforeIam]

@badgeronthedrums

I will be doing the same next year once my daughter has left (but for now we need them to write the UCAS references...)

I'm in the same situation as you. In fact, I thought it wasn't worth bothering, that they wouldn't answer me as I would no longer have a child there. I suppose though, come September it has to be worth a punt.

[CiaoBe]

@IcakethereforeIam

I'm in the same situation as you. In fact, I thought it wasn't worth bothering, that they wouldn't answer me as I would no longer have a child there. I suppose though, come September it has to be worth a punt.

Maybe email them under the guise of the parent of a prospective new student?