Trans pupils and dorms in France

[LaChatte]

I live (and teach) in France and so far haven't really been confronted with any situation which has actually bothered me. DD is 14 and will be boarding as of next year, we've been visiting schools and one of the dorms was decorated (by the pupils) with trans flags (which is fine obviously). I thought I'd ask what their trans policy was. Turns out kids are allowed to to be housed in the dorms that align with their gender identity and the parents of the other kids don't even need to be informed. I'm not thrilled to say the least. I have no idea where to go from here. DD has to board, I don't want her to be ostracised or perceived as having transphobic parents but I do NOT want her sharing a room with a male for the next three years.
Not sure what the point of this thread is, maybe I just need to air my concerns here as I probably shouldn't IRL.

This link might be useful: https://www1.ac-grenoble.fr/article/les-eleves-trans-et-non-binaires-accueil-et-prise-en-charge-123666 it says "Pour les chambres, veillez à trouver un consensus avec les autres élèves, surtout en cas de chambre partagée".

"Et si les autres élèves ne sont pas d’accord avec ce changement ?”Si les autres élèves ne sont pas à l’aise, il convient de trouver une solution provisoire en attendant d’instaurer un dialogue avec les élèves pour trouver un consensus ou une autre solution alternative (chambre individuelle pour l’élève trans en internat, bureau ou pièce neutre pour les vestiaires par exemple : beaucoup de solutions existent)"

That's reassuring and is what will end up happening I suppose if we're confronted with the situation. I worry that DD will be ostracised because of it though.

https://www.education.gouv.fr/bo/21/Hebdo36/MENE2128373C.htm says that "l'établissement peut autoriser l'élève à occuper une chambre dans une partie de l'internat conforme à son identité de genre dans les mêmes conditions ; une solution peut être recherchée en concertation avec les camarades de l'élève concerné pour le partage d'une chambre ; en tout état de cause, les solutions mises en œuvre devront nécessairement avoir fait l'objet d'un consensus". So there is some scope for negotiation and it's unlikely your daughter would be forced to share with a trans pupil against her will.

By "pupils to be housed where they want basically" they obviously mean "trans-identifying" pupils. They obviously don't give a monkey's about any children without "identities"

This is very coercive. 'Girls, would you like to be a nice inclusive person who is kind, or an exclusionary bigot?'

Adults should not be delegating decisions with safeguarding implications to children.

Yes.

I've just filled in the consultation for the guidance for gender quesioning children in English schools, and it occured to me that this could be useful to you, OP. It's really clear and well written.

https://consult.education.gov.uk/equalities-political-impartiality-anti-bullying-team/gender-questioning-children-proposed-guidance/supporting_documents/Gender%20Questioning%20Children%20%20nonstatutory%20guidance.pdf

In particular p15, section 6.43.

To help you clarify your own thoughts about what should be normal practice, and possibly even to be able to show them something 'official' about how things are done in the UK.

Whilst dropping some hints about how other countries are starting to be more careful, how there have been lawsuits about it, that the UK is ahead of the curve etc.

It's what I think I'd do if I had a similar problem. I used to live in France and still have a lot of friends there, many of whom are teachers/are parents of teenagers. There's a hell of a lot of ignorance dressed up as acceptance.

I also agree that it is inappropriate to ask individuals to come to an agreement about how to approach such decisions, let alone to expect children to do so.

In the current environment, there is no space to safely express the opinion that safeguarding of girls is more important than affirming the female gender identity of boys.

The procedures should be in place to protect the dignity and safety of girls automatically, without them having to advocate for their own safe spaces and risk the response we see in all spheres where women are told to shut up.

If we accept the wealth of evidence that women and girls need safe spaces to change, to sleep and to use the toilet, away from men and boys, we should not make exceptions to this principle and no one should have to justify why this need is more important than any other need.

Well said. This needs to be the approach everywhere.

I don't know if @WelcomeMarchwithwintrywind s suggestion is possible in your case, but was also going to suggest this. It can be a really successful arrangement with a welcoming and supportive family.

It costs the school money if you moved her. Just a thought

I"m not sure whether funding state schools in France works like that.

I agree with this. The last paragraph is especially important, and one of the main reasons why I have been very vocal with my teenage daughters on trans issues.

Sorry... Late to the party but my DC went on a school trip and ended up having to share a bed! They were allocated based on birth gender.

In a room with four students, two were trans and one was a lesbian. As DC put it "it was all very ironic as we were basically mixed gender sharing a bed anyway - and even the girl who identified as one was a lesbian".

OP - how did this pan out? I would be tempted to hope that she gets to share with a girl and if she doesnt, get her to say that for religious/cultural reasons her strict family will not allow her to share with the opposite sex, then they cannot blame it on her.

Yes its come to something when you have to talk of "a male with a penis"!
NOT getting at you, I understand the need, just think it speaks volumes.

Oh I wish one of my best friends was on here. She went to a boarding school and judging from some of the things she and her "galpals" got up to, if there was a p in the room it wouldn't have lasted long! No, I don't mean...
I mean its owner would have been ridiculed and thrown out.