Gender gentrifiers: The Starbucks theory of sexual identity

[IwantToRetire]

I began to wonder if socioeconomic status affects how much you overcomplicate things, from your coffee order, to your choice of bread, to your conceptualisation of gender. If you are a regular at the De Beauvoir deli, you are likely to have some kind of “privilege” or have had some in your life cycle. This changes how you interact with the world. You have been socialised to be picky, with countless experiences of going to restaurants that encourage you to express niche tastes. You have reached the self-actualisation stage of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, with the economic bandwidth to meditate upon your identity — maybe even explore it with an expensive shrink. “I’m a tomboy who has kissed a few girls” can easily turn into a lengthy, multifaceted identity, not least because the latter sounds more interesting. This, in turn, feeds into the media landscape, where the new descriptions for gender identity are quickly disseminated. One Guardian writer last year, for instance, celebrated the “non-binary finery” of Joan of Arc in the play I, Joan.

https://thecritic.co.uk/gender-gentrifiers/

Not just (or so much) a privileged background as one divorced from material reality. I do think more time spent touching grass or doing actual physical work (and male or female people in other parts of the world have to do this for a living) helps.

the trans umbrella is indeed very broad. I'm agender (I do not believe I have a gender). According to some people, that is included in the trans umbrella. I'm just a middle-aged,married straight man, but by some reckonings I'm trans?

Spicy Straight FTW!

I think the desert island question is quite interesting.

If a few people were stranded in a remote place then any physical, bodily expressions of social identity would soon fall away - hair styles, makeup etc would probably wear off within about 48 hours - each person would be preoccupied with survival and clothing themselves would only matter insofar as to protect themselves from the weather or the physical environment.

Eventually clothing would become torn or useless and physical bodies would be visible. Funnily enough, it would then be really obvious who is male and who is female!

I find this to be true of people, not who necessarily identify as trans, but who get involved in trans political lobbying or consider themselves "allies." Particularly female people. I work with a couple people like this. Among young people in school, it describes a certain number who are always playing around with their current "identity."

I guess that is a matter of luxury belief to some extent, but I also think this is a cohort of people who do struggle to actualize identity, because often growing up they don't have enough real responsibilities. They are trying to create identity through a consumerist model, when really a true sense of self comes out of a connectivity-responsibility kind of model. Most of these young people don't work at real jobs, no one really depends on them, they are almost like leeches on society for many years. (That is not their fault, btw, but largely due to the way work and parenting and families have changed. They have little or no real agency until they are in their 20s, part time when they should have developed these links of responsibility.)

But at least here, lots of the young people who get caught up most fully have some other struggles, kids in care, kids with mh issues, etc.

I wouldn't claim to know why but I'd suspect its about feeling out of place or feeling special.

Tell your social worker you feel depressed and she'll add you to the 2 year waiting list for chams. Tell her you think you're trans and you'll get to see all sorts of interesting people and places and support groups, all very eager to tell you how important and special you are.

Forgive me my ignorance

If you identify as agender does that mean you believe in gender identity but feel you are neither one more the other? Or have you just chosen the category you feel best fits you because you don't believe?

I don't believe therefore I don't have a gender identity. I wouldn't choose the one which best fits because that is signalling belief in the system.

And how is agender different to non binary?

@PJRules to answer your first question - I'm not a gender believer. I don't 'identify as agender' so much as I don't believe I have a gender. I have a sexed body (and a personality), that's it. I have not bought in at all to 'having an agender identity' it's not even a thing.

As for whether agender is like non-binary, I'm only one google ahead of you to be quite honest. Opinions vary widely on this recently invented subject

I was just illustrating my point that the trans umbrella is so broad, that according to some, it even includes someone like me who isn't even spicy straight.

Gotcha 👍

Pondering your gender identity is mostly a white Mc past time, like golf or Center Parcs

There's almost certainly an element of that. I think the other huge factor is a tendency to live your life online and through fictional worlds, fandoms and niche interest groups. For many people the step from creating an online special-interest-influenced persona to thinking you can literally change who you are in real life is probably not a very big one.

"I guess that is a matter of luxury belief to some extent, but I also think this is a cohort of people who do struggle to actualize identity, because often growing up they don't have enough real responsibilities."

This reminded me of something my gran (born 1920s) would say when exasperated about endless navel-gazing - "Whit that lassie needs is a wean!", by which she meant they needed something to occupy their time and their thoughts and to stop being so self-absorbed, and just to grow the fuck up (though gran would never swear, her tone of voice was quite scathing enough).

And it chimes, her regarding those who had become self-absorbed through having too much time on their hands as being in need of real responsibilities, in the shape of parenthood, a very real responsibility.

I agree. There are different reasons why people identify as trans - to escape puberty or trauma brought about by sexual abuse; to "explain" why they're different for those with autism or other neurodiversities; or - as the linked article would suggest - as an extreme form of self-absorption/navel gazing where it's an identity to be assumed which marks you out as 'special and different'. For the last group you could argue that it gives an 'oppressed' status to those who have no other reason to be oppressed.

Certainly for the latter group it's an issue that you'd only really have time to consider if you're in a position where your other life needs are already being met (i.e. you're not fleeing a war zone, trudging miles each day for food and water, or working to exhaustion) but I'd also argue that the internet and proliferation of 'trans theory' means that all three groups are more likely to think that this is the answer to their problems whereas it may not have occurred to them previously. It's presented as a solution.

We're now in a fourth phase of 'where can we get lunch that caters for a vegan, someone doing paleo (etc etc) ....'

I do wonder what Douglas Adams would have made of this.

It's nice to see an article that examines this critically and isn't just a vitriolic hit-job on people who are in this zone.

I'm the mother of a middle class non-binary kid myself, and I'd say there's a lot of truth in this, but there's also no shortage of people of colour who are non-binary and friends working in schools in 'rough' areas have reported trans kids too. There is I think, a big difference between what I'd call the 'happily trans/NB' and the 'unhappily trans/NB'. The former, like my oldest, are perhaps overthinking things a tad, and yes, tend to have the luxury of doing so, although I think overall we will see more non binary people in the future and perhaps I'm just old and don't really get what it means to young people. This generation is tending to see things through the 'lens' of gender, including some normal feelings of adolescence. I don't think this is much of an issue with the 'happy' cohort like my oldest and some of their friends - none of them seem interested in any kind of medical transition at all, they're just enjoying it a bit like I enjoyed being an 'indie kid'. And it's not actually a bit deal, it's not like they all venerate trans kids as stunning and brave, it'll be like my oldest comes home and says 'X has said they're using he/they pronouns now' and it's like, I dunno, they bought some new shoes. They claiming 'oppression' thing doesn't seem that much of a thing either, although it is energising many kids to activism for more vulerable people, I do think middle class non binary kids appreciate that a trans girl has it much harder than they do, for example.

Re: the unhappy kids, that can be problematic. I believe some of them will be trans but obviously only a tiny% and it's going to get harder to tell who. Others could be kids who are finding adolescence challenging or have experienced abuse and when presented with the chance to literally be someone else, to just Do Something that changes who you are, that could sound attractive. I think it unlikely, when you look at the state of trans care in this country, that significant numbers will go through medical interventions when they shouldn't, but when identifying the issue, at the end of the day, statistically, the chances that the answer will be 'you are trans' over them being depressed, anxious, being neurodiverse, just having a difficult adolescence, having trauma etc are obviously small. Even if 10 times as many people turned out to be trans than revealed in the latest census, that remains the case.