Does long hair on a boy make him any less of a boy? Don't be ridiculous
To be fair, the mother did remind him that both girls and boys can have long hair, and that it didn't mean he was a girl.
But - learning that the reason he wanted her to use gender neutral pronouns when it was just the two of them was because some people think he's a girl because of his hair, didn't stop her affirming him, deciding to use gender neutral pronouns for him at all times and to think about asking the school to change his name on the register from his full name which is obviously a boy's name to the NN she uses for him - a shortened version of his full name which could be either a girl's or a boy's name. (Not something he's actually asked for, as far as I can tell).
Her DS has decided actually he wanted he/him pronouns the next day:
Soooooo. . . . Up date.
This morning I asked "what pronouns would the royal we like today you majesty?" Kiddo laughed and said "I am him!". I commented "that's different from yesterday?"
Kiddo said they are feeling braver today to "stand up to being a boy".
This was at school run so not much chance to comfortably pick at thier meaning but I think [child's name] is feeling pressure due to long hair looking more feminine.
Will chat again after school :)
This lot honestly think they're letting their child lead the way. Like the vast majority of parents they want the best for their DC and want to protect them from harm. And I'm totally with them on the idea that girls and boys can choose whichever gender stereotypes - or none - to experiment with. But I think they don't understand how sexist, damaging and alienating it is for a child to be given the idea that sex isn't real but they can pick their gender identity based on how much they "feel" like a girl/boy. I think they think they're creating a brave new world.
They don't understand how they're influencing their DC by asking about it, and by simply opening up the possibility that they might be a "demi girl" or whatever. You can well see how this might appeal to DC who feel different from their peers e.g. because of autism or psychological conditions. I don't ever see them talking about questioning their child's gender or encouraging them to think maybe they might be "cis", once they've said they're trans or NB.
From the same mother:
I have asked quite a bit -are you a boy? Are you us girl? Both? Neither? when they were younger and kiddo has always, so far, said they were cis.
Even tonight when I asked "you think you look like a girl? Do you feel like a girl?" they shook those luscious locks and said "I know I am a boy, I just like girl things too". They looked nervous - I think poor soul was worried I would moan about gendering hobbies and clothes :-/ tbf that is something that gets my goat when other people do it!
I told them I love lego even though people tell me it's for boys only theyve been ticked etc but its same stuff I've said before. I think they are feeling pressure from school re gendered items. Maybe other kids are more sure in thier identity? Maybe kids are asking them 'are you a girl' and its confusing them?
Or MAYBE you're constantly questioning their gender and they know you'd be delighted if they said they were NB and it's confusing the fuck out of them?! Aargh!!
See, this mother obviously wants to do the right thing for her child. But somehow she's got caught up in this gender identity bullshit - along with thousands of others, this isn't such an extreme niche as you might think - and is confusing the fuck out of her child. And herself IMO.