Am I right to cross out "gender" on my child's school form and change it to "sex?"

[PerverseConverse]

I have a form for my child's new school which asks me my child's gender. I feel it should say "sex" seeing as gender is a social construct. Would I be wrong to cross out gender and write sex?

[MyVisionsComeFromSoup]

so why is gender relevant in a school's record keeping? Why does my DDs school need to know what gender (or none) she identifies with? So that they can tell her that turning up today in jeans and DMs and wanting to study maths and science isn't appropriate? Or that maybe if she wants to keep her hair long, she needs to wear a skirt and some heels?

Surely it's of more relevance to know how many girls are studying maths and science to see if the work the school has put in to make sure there's not any gendered nonsense about "girls fluffy pink brains can't do sums" has actually made a difference (answer: yes it has)? And having urinals in the toilets of the sex which can use urinals (I'm not thinking many teenage girls are that confident in using a sheewee in the boys), you'd need to know how many people-with-penises there were. You could put urinals in the girls toilets I suppose, and remove some cubicals, but then you'd risk girls not making it back to class in time as the queues were so long. But at least the trans girls would be catered for and the creepy pervs and the doing it for a laugh lot

[WichBitchHarpyTerfThatsMe]

Yes OP, sex it is. I keep doing this on forms because biology matters.

[BarrackerBarmer]

Why would a school want to know whether a child likes pink sparkles, bluntness? Isn't that what gender is? Or is it perhaps being bad at maths and physics?

What exactly is the 'female gender'? What are its characteristics? How do I know if I identify with it?

My child has XX chromosomes, ovaries and a vagina. She'll be menstruating soon.
That's sex. She's the female sex. She, I and everyone who meets her can accurately perceive her sex.

What is 'gender'? Can you explain?
When a kid with a penis and testicles says he identifies as the female gender, what on earth do you take that to mean? That he wishes he was biologically female like my daughter - but isn't?
Or that he has a personality type which he wrongly would like to label female, when it patently isn't?

[NameChangedAgain18]

Are you saying legally you believe a child who identifies as female but was born Male should not be permitted to use th female facilities? And you feel that's what the act is saying?

The law provides for single sex provision, so yes. A girl has the right to get changed without being seen by someone with a penis, or without having to see a penis.

[lifechangesforever]

How can people get so worked up about this?

They are asking gender because it's the right thing to ask.. they want to know what gender the child identifies with, regardless of sex.

[jellyfrizz]

Are you saying legally you believe a child who identifies as female but was born Male should not be permitted to use th female facilities? And you feel that's what the act is saying?

The law provides for single sex provision.

The clue here is the actual use of sex, not gender.

[littlbrowndog]

But what are the genders ?

[TigerDrankAllTheWaterInTheTap]

FreckledLeopard asked a very pertinent question. I don't think Bluntness has answered it.

Bluntness100 - WHY is gender important? Children can and should partake in a range of activities irrespective of gender. Are you saying boys should only be able to do rock climbing but not baking, and girls should play with dolls? How on earth does gender have any relevance here?

Sex is relevant. Gender is not.

[MyVisionsComeFromSoup]

so a child identifies as "female". What exactly are they identifying with? Is there a checklist of "female" characteristics?

[TimeLady]

Haven't seen a TRA around for a while. Are they all back from their hollibobs?

[TigerDrankAllTheWaterInTheTap]

Gender is a load of baloney. Sex is material reality. I know which I want recorded for statistical purposes.

[jellyfrizz]

But what are the genders ?

And why does it matter what gender you are?

[TimeLady]

Yes, OP. Change it. I did on my granddaughter's cycling class form this summer. Even if only one person notices, it might make them think and question. Every little helps.

[Knicknackpaddyflak]

Ok, so say you write on the form that the child identifies as frostgendered demiboi.

Now what?

Or were you (and the school) really meaning 'male' or 'female' and those were the only options offered on the form? That's sex, not gender. If your child is one of the very few who need additional planning for because they identify differently to their biological sex then that obviously is information to share with the school.

[Helmetbymidnight]

I did! a couple of days ago on an on-line application form.

Now, I'm kind of regretting it, and worried I'll be penalised for it. Gah.

[KennDodd]

@Bluntness100

Can you please explain what gender is? Genuine question. Sex is easy to explain and very clear, gender I'm completely confused about.

[deepwatersolo]

You are absolutely justified to cross it out and write ''sex'. It is ridiculous that the same people who promote the substitution of sex for gender in such forms and drone on about the 76+ genders there are and about the 'spectrum' that sex is, will then offer two categories to check, male and female.
That is what happens, when people don't feel the need for logical coherence in their head.

[GladAllOver]

It's this 'identifies with' nonsense that gets to me.

How on earth can a five year old child know what 'gender' they are, when even adults can't define what gender is.

The child may like to play with boys or girls, or prefer particular colour clothes, but doesn't mean they have chosen a 'gender'. They have just shown what they like, at that stage in their development. In any case their preferences are likely to change as they grow up and are exposed to new choices and influences.
Except for the very small number of genetic abnormalities, the child is born with either male or female sex. And that won't change.

[deepwatersolo]

Well, actually, the 'identifies as' thing is quite straight forward. I just doubt that is is of any relevance for public officials that my kid currently identifies as a race car, identified as Moby Dick two months ago and might identify as a submarine tomorrow.

[Noqont]

They are asking gender because it's the right thing to ask.. they want to know what gender the child identifies with, regardless of sex

What the heck does that even mean though. My children don't conform to a gender stereotypes. Nor do they need to. But their sex is male and female. Which is more useful information for the school rather than a feeling.

[WichBitchHarpyTerfThatsMe]

What makes me laugh about substituting the word sex with gender on forms is that those who think that gender trumps sex in significance, are the same people who support the idea of being non-binary. Non binary meaning not just 2 genders. So, surely if an organisation has opted to use gender instead of sex, and still only offer 2 options, they are still defining people as binary. Should they not be offering a multitude of tick boxes in order to be fully inclusionary?!

[Oakmaiden]

It's not complex. Gender is what schools should be focusing on. Not sex.

Bollocks.

Sometimes there is just no point in entering into reasoned debate.

[Helmetbymidnight]

So the idea is I ask the DC what gender they identify with?

Could you give me some ideas how I clearly explain that to them. Is it dolls v cars?

[ADastardlyThing]

Absolutely right, my DC school does ask for the sex though but every other form I see I change it.

[ErrolTheDragon]

Gender is what schools should be focusing on. Not sex.

No, they shouldn't. They should be blind to it. They should do nothing which reinforces gender stereotypes, which are harmful to all children. They should most certainly prevent any sort of bullying or discrimination against any gender nonconforming kids. But children have a right to single sex provision of loos etc. Post puberty, many sports need to be segregated by sex. Some PSHE classes need to be sex specific. A 'transboy' needs the 'period chat' as much as any other biological girl.

Sex is real, and matters.