FT investigation: Men only fundraiser and sexual harrassment

[RedToothBrush]

amp.ft.com/content/075d679e-0033-11e8-9650-9c0ad2d7c5b5?__twitter_impression=true
Sexual misconduct allegations
Men Only: Inside the charity fundraiser where hostesses are put on show
FT investigation finds groping and sexual harassment at secretive black-tie dinner

It is for men only. A black tie evening, Thursday’s event was attended by 360 figures from British business, politics and finance and the entertainment included 130 specially hired hostesses.

All of the women were told to wear skimpy black outfits with matching underwear and high heels. At an after-party many hostesses — some of them students earning extra cash — were groped, sexually harassed and propositioned.

The event has been a mainstay of London’s social calendar for 33 years, yet the activities have remained largely unreported — unusual, perhaps, for a fundraiser of its scale.

Hats off to the FT for sending two undercover reporters

[TheBrilliantMistake]

Good grief, this has now turned from a single man complimenting a single woman, into a man who is habitually commenting on the appearance of women in the workplace!

We are not talking about a man who is looking for some sexual fulfillment, however sordid, we are talking about how a single man who finds a single woman attractive feels reluctant to say so thanks to the types of men at this 'party'. I think that's a sad repercussion.

We are not talking about his 'right' to say it at will as soon as he sees an attractive woman, we are talking about someone specific who he finds attractive. It would be much easier to say 'I like her taste in literature and music' but it's now far harder to say 'I think she's really attractive'. It doesn't have to equate to some sexual predator, office creep, distasteful view of women.
Already on this thread it's as if 'if you dare utter those words you must be such and such'... that just cannot be right.

[thebewilderness]

It is from a cartoon where the sea lion follows the people everywhere arguing pointlessly.

[BeyondWitchbitchterf]

www.facebook.com/thedailymash/videos/1433350800107417/

[nauticant]

Try this ChemistryGeek:

wondermark.com/1k62/

[BeyondWitchbitchterf]

Vid link is for the world at large, not just fish for the sea lion :)

[thebewilderness]

knowyourmeme.com/memes/sea-lioning

[thebewilderness]

Tragic that being a decent human being is so inconvenient for you, Brilliant the sea lion.

[Waspnest]

To be fair I think that my DH would also find it uncomfortable if a man told him he found him attractive because the subtext is I wonder what it would be like to shag you. If you have a wife, a mother or a daughter I really don't believe you when you claim not to understand why this might make a woman uncomfortable. Really we don't need to know if you find us attractive, we're not Paris Lees.

I feel I should reply to the sea lioning tedious man but sorry.

[nauticant]

hahaha!

Thanks Waspnest.

[AngryAttackKittens]

Brilliant, dude, nobody cares. Be paranoid if you like, hopefully it will lead to you talking less, which would be a win for everyone.

[Nickynackynoodle]

FFS. I had to spend all day explaining what victim blaming was and how the power gradient makes these events so insidious.

Apparently it’s ok to have female strippers at work as long as we have male strippers next time.

I said “women don’t want to look at naked me, we just want men to fuck off and leave us alone”. And that, brilliant includes you.

[Nickynackynoodle]

*naked men,

Bloody phone.

[instantwhipped]

Here's some more handy advice!

[HairyBallTheorem]

Oh, I watched that last night, instant. The bit at the end where he's going "so this is why you said 'Nish, you don't need to read the script, no really,..'" and the punchline it sets up is just brilliant.

[Waspnest]

And I just asked DH if he would ever tell a random woman that he found her attractive and he looked at me as if I was bonkers. His reply was 'why would a random woman be interested in what a random man thought of her' in another words who would be arrogant enough to think that their banal thoughts are of interest to a stranger? Are we supposed to be grateful that we're actually on their apparently superior radar?

I feel etc etc etc......

[thebewilderness]

The men who judge random women's attractiveness are putting on a public display of male dominance under the guise of a compliment.

[SweetGrapes]

instant that is so good!

[TheBrilliantMistake]

'Random' was never mentioned. Putting words in mouths there.
The term 'specific' was used - the precise opposite.
I'm not one for personal comments and assumptions about individuals, so I'll leave the thread. There was never an intention to insult or offend. I do feel some have sought to take offence.

[AngryAttackKittens]

Play it again, Sam!

i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/873/260/a5b.png

[Waspnest]

No you really still don't get it. That 'specific' person could be random (a stranger) or could be someone working in your office or could be a mum on a school run or could be your wife's best friend. I would bet that the vast vast vast majority of those women would find you telling them that you found them attractive weird and creepy. I'm shocked you cannot see that. Not sure what you mean about the personal comments and assumptions but I'm quite glad I won't now find out.

[raisinsarenottheonlyfruit]

Apparently it’s ok to have female strippers at work as long as we have male strippers next time.

But they weren't strippers. One of the things that was so fucked up about the event is that they chose to hire women who are not experienced with the sex industry, and put them into a position where they were vulnerable, without telling them what it was about or providing any back up.

There are loads of strippers working in London who they could have employed. But they didn't. Why? Probably because they would have told them to fuck off. Most strippers are used to working in venues where there is a strict hands-off rule i.e. the strippers can touch the men, but the men can't touch the strippers. And there are bouncers there to protect the women to some extent e.g. if the men groped them. It sounds like there was no one to protect these women.

These young women weren't given the opportunity to give informed consent for this. They were put into a situation they were totally unprepated for with no back up, no bouncers to look out for them. It's much worse than hiring strippers. It's treating the women they hired with absolute contempt. No regard for their safety and well being and no attempt at all to seek their consent.

I hope they see criminal charges, they think they can just buy young women.

[ADarkandStormyKnight]

Great post raisins

[AngryAttackKittens]

I think that the hiring of women who would not know what they were in for and would not have willingly consented to "sex work" was deliberately done because that's what the thrill was supposed to be for the men, being able to use their power to force "normal" women into putting up with their shitty behavior. Madonna/whore complex etc - it wouldn't have been nearly as much fun for the men if the women were strippers, who they know are paid to pretend that they don't find their customers repulsive. Far more of a power kick to impose the decorative object who can't say no role on women who didn't have any choice and were probably confused and frightened.