Can I ask some advice?

[EustaciaBenson]

I work in a rather sexist industry (brewing) which has typically been dominated by men, there are more women coming through as brewers but traditionally the only women to work in this industry have been in admin roles. I work in telesales and admin, I bring in about 80% of the sales, the two sales reps who are both men bring in about 20%. One of the reps is incredibly sexist, says things like women get paid less because they dont work as hard, female pub managers dont do their job as well as men do, hes shocked that there are so many female pub managers etc

I challenge him on these views although its pointless because I cant just sit there and listen to it, or the rasist stuff he spews.

What I've come in here about though is the fact that I always get referred to as "the girl in the office" thats what he calls me to customers and hes not the only one. Some of the customers refer to me as the girl in the office. I'm 30 for goodness sakes not 10!

Does anyone have any good strategies for dealing with this? I've considered referring to them as boys to their face e.g. you boys going out to the pubs etc. I know theres isnt much I can do about the customers, maybe a light "I think im a bit too mature to be a girl" etc.

But has anyone come across this and can they give me any advice? Part of me wants to leave the industry because of the hanitual ingrained sexism. Despite bringing in a lot more money I am paid less. Despite being the top sales person I am expected to take minutes in meetings (I accept this may come under the admin part of my job, but its asked with the implication its because I am a woman), sales meeting are held with the men when I am not there, because they will all go out to a pub and get drunk together and I am not invited. Then I find I've yet again been blamed for something because I wasnt there to defend myself

On the other hand I dont want to be forced to leave, I want to try and do something about the attitude, the industry will never be less male dominated unless women do something about it, even if I am in a more traditionally female role. I'm the only woman in a small company. Not everyone is sexist but the men who arent wont do anything about It even though they agree its wrong. They ignore it when it happens and say they didnt hear it or they werent listening. They ignore ofical complaints about it and suggest I put up with it as the main offender MAY retire in april, but if he doesntmI'm sure I'll just be expected to put up with it for a little longer etc

sorry this turned into a longer post than I expected, I think I needed to get that off my chest. Sorry for any spelling mistakes, my fingers and a touch screen do not get on well!

Someone on MN recommended this book to me:
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0952912104/ref=wms_ohs_product?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I think you would benefit reading it - lots of advise and some strategies.

I hope you can sort something out.
I would also consider a visit to employment lawyer. Perhaps one letter which is written by someone like that would give them a warning sign that actually the future of their company is hanging on one saleswoman who is very unhappy with atmosphere at work.

You could point out to your boss that one of the most respected beer writers is Sarah Warman. Actually, send your CV to Brewdog, they're recruiting and they value their work force, hence Sarah being a spokeswoman. I only know about Sarah from her appearance on a tv show, but she knows her stuff as I'm sure you do. If you're bringing in 80% of the sales any company would be happy, no, delighted and lucky, to have you work with them.

Who owns this company? Is there a board of directors including anyone other than the staff?

It sounds as though the director who arranges the sales meetings without you is trying to run the company into the ground for the short-term benefit of his mates. Aren't the other directors and shareholders concerned about that?

Whatever happened last time, that wasn't a proper grievance procedure. Your concerns were not addressed. 'Its sorted, just sit it out' is not an answer to your specific concerns.

You can talk to a union without being a member or their being recognised in your workplace. Your company is too small for recognition to be required but, if you joined one, a representative can attend grievance meetings with you as an advisor anyway.

Also, be clear about what is going on with twatty salesman accusing you of bullying when you don't do his bidding. Has he actually made a complaint? Has he substantiated it with documented evidence? No? Then no complaint has been made.

He is defaming and undermining you though if he is calling you a bully to other people. You can raise a complaint about that.

Anyway, I know we're not really focusing on the issue you asked about and this has become an employment discussion - on which you'd get good advice in that section.

Of course they shouldn't be calling you a girl, you should pull them up on it and, with customers, make your superior sales prowess known.

I do think the happiest way out of this situation lies with networking, developing yourself and talking yourself up - and out.

"Can you imagine how a man with your record would behave? He'd be full of swagger, constantly talking about how successful and ambitious he is and when he'll buy his Porsche or whatever"

Hang on one minute, you're on a thread about being sexist against women, and all about equality then you make those remarks about men?! How contradictory and what utterly ridiculous statements.

You're still making an assumption on "what a man would do". I'm sure you wouldn't like it if they were saying "a woman would just sit back and let the men get on with it", surely it's the same principal? I'm not trying to be arsey, I just think when wanting equality and no sexist comments, it has to work both ways.

Proposing a thought experiment to get the OP to view her situation from a different perspective and consider different strategies, and using a cartoonish example to illustrate the point of doing so is NOT the same as actually being sexist in an actual workplace, no.

Good luck OP, with everything.

But that's my point- if a man was sexist against women in a "cartoonish" manner we would deem it unacceptable, but seemingly it's absolutely fine for it to be the opposite way around?

Are there any other jobs you could go for? Honestly, I would apply, and if you got one write a clear (not rude or snippy, just clear details) letter to he md and the directors explaining that a) you make 80% of sales and b) you are leaving because of the sexist and patronising behaviour against you.

I realise you have had a tough year but tiny companies where all the men are mates are incredibly difficult to change.

But the post never said "a man would be more likely to be forward about his success" it said how "a man would be full of swagger talking about how successful and ambitious he is and when he was going to buy a Porsche" can you not see how contradictory this all is?

I don't think now is the time for you to be trying to change the world. Look for another job where you can feel appreciated & valued. Focus on your health & your fertility issues & maintaining your relationship with your husband (and yes, I'd be saying this to a man as well, well wife, but you know what I mean!). Fertility issues can tear a couple apart, you don't need to add tribunals etc into the mix. It's a tiny company, nothing will change. Even if they force themselves to address you differently or take turns to do the minutes etc the atmosphere will be awful... To achieve what? A tiny tiny little bit more theoretical equality in the world, at a huge personal cost?!

Oh sorry Empire I should have been more specific in my post.