When victims of DV are jailed

[msrisotto]

I could scream or cry reading this article. (disclaimer - it starts by describing a real case in some detail which you may well find disturbing)How the law turns battered women into criminals. It's just horrific! I can't believe this happens. The report is about the US so I don't know what the figures are like in the UK or elsewhere.

Quote -
"Over the past decade, BuzzFeed News identified 28 mothers in 11 states sentenced to at least 10 years in prison for failing to prevent their partners from harming their children. In every one of these cases, there was evidence the mother herself had been battered by the man.
Almost half, 13 mothers, were given 20 years or more. In one case, the mother was given a life sentence for failing to protect her son, just like the man who murdered the infant boy. In another, the sentences were effectively the same: The killer got life, and the mother got 75 years, of which she must serve at least 63 years and nine months. In yet another, the mother got a longer sentence than the man who raped her son. In one more, a father fractured an infant girl’s toe, femur, and seven ribs and was sentenced to two years; for failing to intervene, the mother got 30.

...BuzzFeed News found a total of 73 cases of mothers who, regardless of whether they were battered, were sentenced to 10 years or more. For fathers, BuzzFeed News found only four cases."

I could quote and underline my horror of the whole article but i've linked it for those who want to read it all. As a comment says, it is the ultimate in victim blaming.
You can't get arrested for failing to prevent crime - unless your partner committed it against your child. WTF? The law acknowledges that we do not have control over others, but makes a special exception for couples? Why not arrest the mothers parents of all criminals too? Parental responsibility after all....

Thanks, it really wasn't clear to me from your previous post but now you have elaborated, I agree.

ah, sorry, clearly the pictures i have in my head don't translate very well to the written word without explanation!

Petula I think sometimes that people 'know' me on here and read my posts accordingly. I got a post deleted when I was being massively sarcastic once . It's all in the tone...

Being in a situation where the abuser is your child's father must be a truly impossible one, the idea of that person getting custody or access must lead to utter despair. Statistically though most abuse is carried out by step parents, many of those cases described detail abuse from a man who was the mother's new partner rather than the biological father. Whilst appreciating that the blame for the abuse rests squarely with the abuser those children have no choice as to whether to stay in that situation. The sentencing does seem perverse and extreme but I think a parent's primary responsibility is to their children and their own victimisation doesn't completely absolve them from this.

Says someone lucky enough not to have been in the situation. Don't get me wrong, I'm not having a go at you in any way. In fact I envy you your lack of understanding.

I am glad that I've never been in a situation where my partner's been violent to me but you don't know me and it's untrue to say I don't have any understanding of this situation just because I have a different perspective to you.

Sorry, but it's pretty obvious that you don't. An opinion, yes, understanding, no. I really wasn't having a go at you btw, I thought I was pretty clear, no need to be defensive about it.

I don't think you were having a go as such but I think you're being a bit patronising and making lots of assumptions. I want to defend what I've said because you were dismissive, I'm not bothered about you being dismissive of my opinion, that's fair enough you may not agree with me, but because you seemed dismissive of my right to have an opinion. With respect it is possible have an understanding of DV without having experienced it from a partner.