Why do I find this Irritating?

[fionatalbot]

Ok

DD and DNephew are both 5 and have recently received their end of term reports. DD's report is very good-DN's more concerning- lots of 'emergings', few 'expecteds'. There are 5 months between them, DD is February born and DNephew is a 'July boy'.

Now, we are very pleased with DD's progress, but I am a little bit fed up of comments from various relatives- like- 'well, she's a girl, they're more mature' and DN is a July-born boy, it's to be expected'. DD certainly isn't particularly mature from my observations.

DN is 5 months younger than DD, which I know makes a huge difference at their age, but the assumption of differences in maturity and ability to cope with school because of their respective genders makes me feel slightly irritated and uncomfortable. I feel these comments are possibly doing both children a disservice- DD because her 'achievements'- such as they are- are potentially undermined by the comments, and DN because his parents may not seek extra support thinking that his behaviours (whole other thread) and attainments are normal for a 'July boy'. I can see the comments continuing throughout their school careers.

Is there any scientific research supporting my relatives' comments or are they stereotyping numpties ?

Any thoughts?

I'm trying to formulate to myself why I feel mildly uncomfortable with this. I would never say anything to my family btw.

Agree, and it starts so bloody early. I did a post grad course in 2009 for early years professionals and the amount of unquestioned gender stereotyping bollocks I heard from both my peers and the tutors was ridiculous. Stuff like 'boys are like dogs', 'forest schools are particularly ideal for boys' and 'boys catch up later on.' This was about the time that the 'Raising Boys' book was being talked about, IIRC.

Yes, sometimes they do- catch up-, but many actually don't; my own older ds being a prime example of this

Do you think there is no biological difference between girls and boys? It is not all culturally defined. I am a gym nut but cannot lift as heavy a weight as a man of my weight and height. Androgens have a trophic affect on muscles.

Maybe that's all the difference there is, but I doubt it.

There are some children who are better suited to forest schools, who are not inclined to sit quietly colouring in. I see that and I wonder if the skew is societal or biological.

I hope that my children take every opportunity offered to them. And I fight ferociously for them to have the same freedom of choice. But I think it does them no favours to pretend that they do not have a different experience of the world, even outside the patriachy

I believe there is no biological difference in make and female brains at birth and I think there is little innate difference in physical strength etc before puberty.

Of course, if the boys spend break time running around playing football and the girls spend it doing more sedentary activities, then differences may develop earlier.

The fact that some people are trans makes me think that there's something in your brain that is innately gendered- if you're trans you're born trans, not conditioned trans or raised trans, so there must be a male brain and a female brain.

Male babies are consistently heavier than female babies and grow faster and taller, even before they get to be preferentially treated in the playground.

I took my b/g twins to the dentist yesterday. My daughter has a mouth full of molars, my son, not. They're 7. The dentist said that boys often got theirs later. I vaguely wondered if that was related to the 'girls mature faster' thing. Then I went back to my magazine....