Treating girls and boys differently at primary age

[TeWiSavesTheDay]

Continuing from another thread (or a few) would anyone like to add examples of ways that girls and boys are treated differently at primary level and what they dislike (or like) about it.

I'll start with uniforms, at my child's school there are separate uniform lists for girls and boys. The boys list is very simple (trousers/shorts/shirt/jumper) the girls list is very complicated with different items allowed in different years.
I don't like it because I think it implies both that girls should have more options than boys (feeding the feminism gone too far myth that females have more choice than men) and also the need to have children differentiated by gender at this age- if girls are allowed to wear everything on the boy list why is the reverse not true? Why should a boy with additional needs struggle with a jumper when a cardigan would be more practical? Or even if they just prefer to wear something from the girl list why are we saying they can't?

At DD's secondary school boys are allowed to go on the Astro ( the only outside space that isn't concrete) to play football at break times. Girls aren't allowed on it.

Yes, at DD's school they have a rota for the all weather pitch. I think the girls turn cartwheels on it, rather than play football though!

Romey - thank you, that thought was at the back of my mind but I wasn't sure how to phrase it. I'm planning in approaching the school about it.

And fluffy wtf?! How have they justified that?

TeWi they haven't. Last year DD and her friends went on there and got told to leave as it was for the boys to play football on. Even when they asked to join in with the football (not to play just to see if it was because they were girls or not) they weren't allowed because apparently it gets too rough

How shit of them.

fluffydoge is that actually legal?

The headteacher and chair of governors of the primary school I work at (and that my kids go to) are both very keen on treating boys and girls the same, same as they treat children of differing abilities/needs the same and of different races the same.

Uniform list doesn't specify boys or girls, it's just:

White shirt/blouse
Grey trousers/skirt/pinafore/shorts
Grey cardigan/jumper
Royal blue tie
Blue gingham dress is optional for summer
Long hair must be tied back, no exceptions.
Jewelry is strictly limited to one pair of small earrings.

So technically the boys could all rock up in skirts should they so desire. To date, none have.

PE is mixed - whole class does it together. All children are encouraged to try out for the football team (still mostly boys, though), all children are invited to join netball club. Role play areas in KS1 classrooms are in gender-neutral colours. Nothing in classrooms that depicts perceived 'gender attributes'. No segregation by gender in queues, groups etc. Children encouraged equally in classrooms in terms of maths, science, reading. Our literacy coordinator is pretty fab - she set up a book club to encourage all children to read more - last month we read Wonder (yes, I go, and yes, I cried).

Before now, I just assumed that all primaries were like this these days. Looking at this thread, maybe we're lucky.

I don't think ours is too bad ill, but tours sounds perfect!

I rejected the local outstanding primary because they were so proud of having done up the loos with murals - pink fairies for girls and underwater divers for boys.

On the other hand her primary was great with this sort of this. Loads of girls wore shorts and a few boys wore cardigans as well, boys shoes were popular with the girls as well because they're better for running around/playing in than girls shoes.

School had a football club with an external coach, mixed in theory, but the boys dominated totally.

The girls only got a netball club because two mums did the course.

Far more merit certificates seemed to go to girls, but maths ones went to boys. Girls were fir english, reading and being belpful.

Ok the best mathematicians in DD2's class were boys, but rewarding effort as well as absolute achievement would have been nice.

Wow, reading this has given me food for thought for when I pick schools for DD1 next year. I hadn't given any thought to how a school might fail her for being a girl. Thanks!

flufflydoge, that really does sound extraordinary, and completely unjustifiable! How the hell can you have a 'boys only' place for sport in this day and age?!!

It's incredible the guff that's still around in this day and age. I was told by a teacher recently that 'boys are not interested in reading and if they are, they certainly don't read fiction'. How is that helpful exactly?! And of course no boy has ever read Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings or any other work of fiction. I think we do boys a huge disservice by expecting them to fail at literacy

Many primaries do the same in practice. If they say please play foot ball on the field or in that part of the yard, that area becomes 'boys only space'

Girls would never think of playing in the centre of the field, they are pushed to the margins.

DD2 says you had to teach the reception DCs how to wait to cross the field without getting squashed.

It's a very difficult problem, you cant ban the boys playing football, there Mother's wouldn't stand for it and their class teachers would hate it. They need to let off steam. The girls would hate it as grumpy boys would just take over the yard instead playing chase etc.

If you encorage the girls to play netball or something similar that pushes DCs of both sexes who want to play quiet imaginative games or small scale running about or skipping games into the corners.

At my first primary school girls and boys played together loads and I don't remember anyone playing football. Later in the school a small part was set aside for football but the playground was large and there was room for everyone. At my second primary the playground was much smaller and monopolised by football games.

I think no more than half should be used for football.

The louder kids of either sex will always monopolise the playground (much in the way that louder people monopolise most public spaces in later life!!)

I don't get the whole "boys hate books" literacy thing either. Mind you, I was quite a bookish child, but it still baffles me how books have ended up somehow being perceived as 'girly'!

This thread is a depressing read. My oldest is only just two so not at school age yet, but our local school doesn't allow girls to wear trousers, only pinafore dresses or skirts.

Just found this glaring error on our school's website: "We all packed our bags and waved good bye to our Mummy’s and Daddy’s at the door." Perhaps more to worry about than girls not being allowed to wear trousers

Yes, I was going to make the point that Romey made - the uniform choice available to girls totally reinforces the emphasis on their appearance.

Our primary school ran a programme for parents on Raising Boys which I went to. All the tips and techniques they taught us were equally applicable to boys and girls and they admitted that a lot of 'boy' behaviour is down to socialisation. They haven't run one on Raising Girls obviously

Our school is generally not too sexist, with the exception of girls being allowed to wear skirts I guess.

However, Father Christmas came around with gifts to the classrooms last year. He split them into groups of girls and boys. The boy group was given cars and trucks, the girl group received cooking toys, aprons, and things for the home corner.

Football is a big thing. Football is perceived by so many people as being very very important. At our school there is an annual trip for the boys to go to football camp abroad. Nothing for the girls.

I am becoming ever more thankful by the day that our school is strong on equal ops - I have never heard a reference to Boys & Girls. Uniform is unisex. One PE kit for all. Any grouping is by 'family group' within each class. As far as I know most outdoor play is used by all - basket ball hoops, traversing wall, jungle gym, bikes, scooters. Quiet zones for those children who want to just chill. 30% of girls wear trousers - more up the school in the older classes. Music for all DC and lots of boys in the choir. Huge gym club that is 50% boys. I have only ever heard a teacher or TA say x child likes books or y child loves playing on the bikes. I have never heard 'it's because they are a boy / girl.

This is really interesting - I live in rural southern Germany, where I would say social attitudes are more sexist (the football coach asks for Mamas to sort out who will bake what for the end of seadon party, and for some Papas to volunteer go set up the tables) but school has no uniform, girls football (outside school) is as popular as boys, and the girls and boys play football on the field or a game similar to stuck in the mud on the yard together, so certainly seem to take up equal space. Sport lessons are mixed ( though they have proper separate changing rooms).

I wonder if the fact football (which is central here too) is not seen as a sport belonging to one gender has something to do with it (German women are world champions). Sewing and knitting is still taught at school - to both genders with no distinction.

The primary staff are all female though, apart from the head (who covers 2 schools and is not based at ours) ... I don't know how typical our school is, as social attitudes are, as I say, more not less sexist than the UK.

Velvet - I would have cried at Santa my DD would have handed her toy back and asked for a boys one. And then she would spend the next few days saying she wants to be a boy as she hates girl stuff and being a girl . Never underestimate the messages it gives out